Friday, October 3, 2008

One Tornado Plus One Calm Whispering Wind Equals

Jaren and I. I bet you could guess which each one of natures wonders is which. Since I'm home a lone again. By myself. It's almost 9 on a Friday night. I'm so cool. I decided to clean my kitchen. Wait wait.... let me tell you what my house looks like.

I've been the only one basically living in it for the last 4 weeks since Jaren has decided to briefly leave me for his CAREER. Boo potatoes. (Until the check comes in, then I yay). But since I am the equivalent to a tornado, both emotionally and in my living habits lately my house really truly looks like it has been hit by one. My patient husband who comes home and doesn't say anything about his side of the couch being COVERED in my books and papers and junk he just sits on the other couch and smiles at me. Even he said something to me about it last night. "Honey... now.. don't take this the wrong way (because I always do) but.. do you find it's hard to concentrate with.... this...." "MESS?!" "yes." So I took it the wrong way and got out the rolling pin to knock some sense into him. No, no you know I wouldn't do that.

I'd use the huge wooden cutting bored. Kidding! Kidding again! Goodness people.

So. I promised I would clean the house spotless tomorrow. And I will. I have been planning on doing this because during the week it is impossible for me to do it. Uhhh, especially this week. Wait. Don't get me started that's not what I'm whining about.

So, I decided that since I was here by myself. And I had already watched an hour of TV and talked on the phone for an hour (to my dad) that I should do something productive. So I started to clean the kitchen. I mean.. I CLEANED that sucker. Oh except the microwave... still need to scrub that. Oh... and the oven.. need to clean that. Oh... and under the sink. Ew. Need to clean that. Dang. I guess I just cleaned off the counter tops and did the dishes and cleaned the stove top and swept the floor. But it looks TONS better!

So after that I felt a little ambitious and decided I'd start on our bedroom. Both of our clothes are every where. And well.. mine are more mostly every where. Instead I decided to whine about it. So here I am.... blogging and whining because in my last post everyone said they actually read my whole posts. So I feel better about writing more.
OH YEAH
I remembered why I was going to blog. I was looking through Mormon Mommy Blogs and realized I am SO far down there! And in no real special category. So now I'm having a blogging identity crisis. Where do I fit in the blogging world? Am I just "one of the blogs" or am I "ONE OF THE COOL BLOGS!" (said in high pitched girly voice). I wonder..........

I really have a hard time finding myself funny typing. I'm mostly funny when you meet me and I mutter incoherent comments under my breath about what's going on around me and the person next to me hears it. They laugh. It's usually funny. I'm rarely mean. I try not to be.

In one of my classes we were having a discussion on being sarcastic. And everyone was raising their hands and talking about how being sarcastic is mean and makes them feel bad. And I mean.. okay, when you are making fun of someone to their face in front of their face.... wouldn't that make them feel bad?? So I raised my hand and said, "I think if you are being sarcastic as in being mean to someone or even about someone then it's not very nice. But when you are just making fun of yourself or a situation or something then it's funny. I like to laugh. I like sarcasm when it's not directed at me. I think it can be a good thing." Unless it is being directed at me and I'm cool with it. Then that's okay too.

I'm here in my house by myself in the middle of nowhere and it's totally dark outside and my husband is 30 miles away. Remember my fears?!?! My doors are locked..... but I just got this weird phone call from.... I DON'T KNOW!! I didn't get to my phone in time. By the way, I don't get reception at my house unless I stand by my back door window. Blah. So, I answered just as they hung up. It was a number I didn't recognize so I called back.. naturally. And some old man answered. So I said, "Hello?" And at first I thought it was my Grandpa in law accidentally calling my phone instead of Jarens. Because we have the same last 4 digits and this was his old work phone before I was born. But then he asked who I was and I said, "Whitney" like I expected him to know who I was. Then he told me he didn't know who I was. I told him I just got a phone call from this number. He told me he didn't know who I was and hung up.

WHAT?!

What does this mean???? Is there someone out there pretending to be an old guy staring at me through the back window wondering what my name was so he could knock on my front door and say, "Whitney!! I have a present for you! It's Kristina, I just brought over the cupcakes you won!" And of course I don't wonder why she drove all the way here to Rexburg just to deliver my cupcakes that I could have gotten from her in a week. Or that it's even 9 o clock and she doesn't know where I live. No. I'd still go answer the door thinking it was Kristina and.... WHO KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!!!

Man. Jaren REALLY needs to come home. He called. Should be home in FOURTY minutes! It's already past 9!!! I think it's time I gave up on dinner and ate without him. I'm also going to go watch the season premier of "The Ex List". (With my large wooden cutting board)

18 comments:

Jillene said...

I know how you feel. My hubby works 14 hour shifts and what do you know--he goes back on shift tomorrow at 8am. He will work Sat., Sun., Mon., Tues., and Wed. Which means we will basically not see him those days. )0:

Mommy Madness said...

Okay, as I was reading your post and I got to the part of the telephone call the phone rang next to me making me jump clear out of my skin. Thanks a lot!

Kristina P. said...

I'm actually in St George right now. But, I did have some delicious cupcakes from a little cafe today.

And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you didn't win my giveaway. I need to write up the post, but I sat down and did actually number all the comments and draw. I could still stalk you though.

Rychelle said...

hope you have a great weekend (if you survive the night).
*fingers crossed*

Nathan & Paloma said...

this was my favorite post of yours so far! so stinkin' funny!!

Jill and Paul said...

LOL! I just found your blog, and you are so funny!! I have the exact same fears as you! I hate it cuz I am always asking my hubby, what was that? Did you hear that?! LOL! I am sooo paranoid when it comes to things like this...Great post by the way! I love how much you post! It is inspiring me to do better on my blog! Stop on over and say hi if you want to :)

Wendyburd1 said...

Awww Whitney!! You are so "ONE OF THE COOL BLOGS!"!! That's why I look to see if you wrote anything new and exciting every day! And maybe your far down on whatever the mormon mommy blog list is...uhhhh...because you are WAITING, yes waiting to BE a mormon mommy, cuz like ur so like cool like ok? haha I wanna be a cool blog too!! I dunno though, I want more people like the ones I have commenting so far...abnormal mormon women...and I have found you guys (thats a compliment and I'm laughing too)! Though abnormal mormon men are fine too as long as they're not freaky stalkerish, and just abnormal women are cool too....abnormal is cool.
I think you get your endearing funny/sarcastic wit across in your blogs, they're fun to read, which means they have to sound like you.

And as for your fears...you could SO write a horror movie, I love the whole crazy stalker outside calling while looking into your messy house while your all alone...in the BOONIES!:P Ever seen the remake of Wrong Number? Sounds like your fear, except that house was like see through so it made it even scarier! *grabs Max and peers outside*

Miss Lovely's Musings said...

Is it a Freudian slip that you spelled "cutting BORED instead of "cutting board"?

Just sayin'.....

Misti said...

Oh, my poor little Whit! Mike doesn't leave at night very often, but last week he went fishing. He was thinking he would go camping overnight as well. Dagan and I were all alone in the house at night and it was SUPER creepy. Amazing, isn't it how much safer you feel when you're husband is around. He didn't actually camp, but came home and scared the crap out of me by coming around to the back of the house and just randomly started talking to me thru the screen door. I think I was engrossed in reading one of your posts. That would be one of the times I didn't comment. Because I was almost scared to death.

Alexis and Casey Treese said...

I can totally relate Whitney! My first month or two of being pregnant the only thing I wanted to do was lay on the couch! PS I wasnt working so I had plenty of time to keep the house tidy. Casey would very gently say honey do you want to do the dishes today? Or honey do you think you should take a shower? -I know...gross. But even now that I am feeling better- most times... I'd rather drink bleach then clean.

Whitney R said...

Jillene - Always know I can empathize. Although, you at least have children to protect you...

Mommy Madness - I know! Scary, huh?

Kristina - dang. That's just too bad. I had planned on sharing them with everyone at the meet and greet. :) But now I know if anyone comes to my door and uses that excuse to get me to open it I'll know it's FALSE!

Rychelle - I did. I'm alive. Alone again, but alive. Now I just have to clean the rest of the house.

Paloma - I'm glad! I can do these more often. I'm in these moods a lot.

Jill - I will come on over! I'm glad you came by and enjoyed it. Come over ANYTIME!!!

Wendyburd - that HAS to be it! I'm not a mommy yet! Well.... when that happens I had better move up the totem poll!

Aunt Susan - Yeah.... had to have been because I spelled it right before. lol.

Misti - Why?! Why did he do that? Jaren scares me to death ALL the time! Sometimes he thinks it's fun to come on the deck out back and just look through the back door until I see SOMEONE there. I scream bloody murder and he just can't figure out why....

Alexis - yeah! It's school. I'm not working. But it just drains me. I don't know what I'm going to do my last semester when I am going to school AND (hopefully) growing a baby. Good thing Jaren will be home A LOT more then. He can clean! ;)

Wendy said...

I hate being home alone!! It is so funny at night, how much scarier everything is, then in the day light, I am like, why was I so freaked out!! Last night at midnight, by daughter came walking down the hall with a flashlight and I about had a heart attack!!

*MARY* said...

Shoot! Sorry I'm so late commenting, I can't stop eating these chips and I don't like to type with messy fingers.
I've always thought of your blog as a cool funny blog and this post definitely supports my opinion. I hope I get to sit by you at the meet and greet so I can hear your muttering.

Leslie said...

I vote...one of the cool blogs. And...who cares what category (or lack thereof) that MMBs puts you in! Maybe you are too good for a label...hu...hu?

And...I just hate being at home late at night...and I don't live out in the middle of the Idaho nowhere...when I'm back in Rexburg...you can totally come and stay at my house!

Jay @halftime lessons said...

Hi Whitney-
love your blog, and you were a beautiful bride.

If Kristina shows up at your door with cupcakes, call 911.

Jay

Rowboat said...

yes i get scared waaaay too easily when i am home alone as well. good luck with that! let me know if you figure anything out that helps calm your nerves. my imagination is way too vivid. drives me nuts.

Julie Anne said...

See I freely admit that I think I'm hilarious. I frequently make myself laugh out loud. So admit that you find yourself funny. There's nothing wrong with that.

Michelle said...

Wow, your funny. Is it okay if I stalk your blog? Please, please, please?!?!?