My husband has learned to not even say anything if he sees one. I know though, cause he'll walk away without saying anything and come back (not even listening to me as I am trying to talk his ear off about everything and anything I can think of) with TP and grab at something, then walk away and I hear the toilet flush.
I'm pretty sure this one time, he lost 8 months off his life when I turned around and saw a huge black one on our bedroom door and I screamed bloody murder. I guess he thought I saw SOMEONE and not something. (he really should be able to distinguish my spider scream from my someone is in the house and is going to kill me! scream by now)
I have plenty more stories about my traumatic experiences. Actually, one just a few days ago, but this one here, this one happened about 3 weeks ago.
It was a calm day outside, with the sun shining and birds chirping. Innocent, you might say. Especially since I live in the calm boonie wilderness. But not so, my friends.... not so.
I walk out into the "dining room" if you could even call it a dining room and look out the back door onto our deck where I thought I saw.... wait... no.... double take, OH MY STARS AND GUARDERS it was a HUGE HUGE HUGE spider! Just hangin from the roof of the deck. Massive. I did not know that one that big existed up here. Well... I kind of did because last summer there was another big one in that EXACT same spot. But it was black and yellow.. a garden spider I found out.
But this one.... oh no... not black and yellow. BROWN. A big brown scary thing that.... that just fascinated me. I stared and stared and then I ran, grabbed my camera, went out onto the porch and braved the beehive or wasp nest that Jaren hasn't taken down yet and took two pictures. One didn't turn out... but this one did. I think the monster was a bit camera shy because after he wrapped up lunch he ran... yeah... ran, super fast up his web and into his little cave thing made by the space in between the roof and beam (2x4).
Here it is..... if your as bad as me, don't look! Or at least warn everyone that no one is breaking into your house before you scream. I didn't name him.... I was too frightened. I walked into the house shaking and shaking and I never saw him again. I think he moved away...... probably didn't like the paprazi taking pictures while he's hunting.
I really hope you can see how big he was. His body had to have been an inch in diameter. I promise I'm not exaggerating.
21 comments:
Oh, I forgot. So ever since, I walk around the house twitching and looking in the shadows and screaming randomly if a stray hair from my head drops and lands on my arm.
I hope I wont get high blood pressure from all of this... it sure is taxing to be arachnophobic.
Whit! I can empathize with this story. Scary!! ya i hate them too, and we have one that looks pretty much the same, although maybe not quite that large just outside our front door on the porch by the light, and it freaks me out every time I go out there! And I too have always thought that the spiders were actually coming FOR me! But i have to admit I have become a little tougher since I've had kids....an itsy teenie weenie bit. But if you ask Jason, he might have a different opinion on that. :)
That spider is CRAZY big! I still would have stepped on it or grabbed a paper towel and squished it--I like to hear it squish (I know--I'm sick and wrong).
I have the same freaked out crazy fear but not of spiders of mice. Eeeewwww--those beady eyes, that long nasty tail, the noise it makes--o.k. I am going to go and vomit now. It's a good thing that my retired, sort of elderly neighbors feed all of the worlds stray cats--hence no mice problems (just a lot of cat crap in my yard).
OH MY GOSH!!!! I almost died looking at that. How scary is that?
very, very scary, Julie. I really was shaking for about 2 hours after.
Jillene - I don't think you would have grabbed this one. It was as big as my palm. AAAAHHH eeekkk...
Sorry about the mouse post back there. I guess you really did almost barfo, huh.
Vic- I know how scared you are! Just like me. But... when I was swathing back home there would be ity bitty spiders crawling around. And I'd smash them with my hands. That, I can do. But anything bigger than my finger nail just doesn't... just can't... aaahhhh, they want to eat me!
I once paid my little brother five dollars to kill a spider in my room.
I had a friend in middle school who's family didn't believe in killing bugs. I went to her house once and there were spiders in every corner hanging out on their webs. She wasn't my friend much longer.
That spider is HUGE!!!! AAAAAAAAA!! *faint*
I'm not a spider hater, as I'm not a bigot, and love all God's creatures, (except children, of course) but that one is pretty scary.
Adam hates spiders. I can hear him out on our landing, spraying away, killing the spiders. His bigotry and love for murder almost ruined our marriage. Somehow, we pressed on.
I hate spiders. I tried to be cool with the universe for a while and scoop them into a cup and let them go outside, but it was such a bother.
Kill! Kill! Kill!
Much more satisfying.
the only way it could have been worse is if it were a SCORPION. they are the spawn of satan.
Mary - VERY wise of you to ditch that spider lover. Next thing you know she was probably wearing a spandex spider suit scaling the walls of your home.....
Brittany - Brittany???.... Brittany?!?!
Kristina - I will leave the spiders alone if they are OUT OF MY HOME!! But as soon as they step over MY threshold, they either get Jaren coming at them with toilet paper, or me coming at them with the vacuum hose.
Ramona - there are times I feel bad about killing the small creepy unsuspecting victims. Like when I turned on the faucet to wash dishes and saw a live moth get washed down the drain cause he was hiding in the sink. I almost grabbed him, dried him off and sent him on his way. But then I realized, wait!! he was just going to die anyway.. they always do, all over my floor!
Mindi - if it was a scorpion I really would have freaked. What would a scorpion be doing in Idaho?! Oh wait... spawn of Satan, probably coming to conquer my soul.
That really is one big spider. Glad you got away:)
Hey, thanks for visiting my blog! Come again, anytime!
Oh, and about the tractor thing - I grew up on a small farm raising beef cattle in western Washington.
Emphasis on the word "small".
But we had tractors. And manure:)
Ah Whit, it reminds me of the good times in SA when I would have to chase the giant cock roaches with raid, drown them, then cover them with a bowl until one of my kids came home from school and could remove them to the waiting toliet. Rox was my best bug remover.
No way! My uncle lives in Royal City! I've spent a lot of time there in my younger days. Even attended a Royal City HS Homecoming dance long ago. This world is so small.
SICK! SICK SICK SICK!!! I HATE Spiders too!! That thing looks HUGE!! I would have freaked out, Ran inside and locked the door!! Than I would have huddled in the middle of the couch makin sure nothin is touchin the ground and be on constant alert! They freak me out dude! Onetime I was exiled to live in the basement of my house for the 7 week break and there was totally a spider crawling on my head one morning! I've never been the same since....
Whit.. get the Raid out and go spray in that hole you saw him go up in,no telling how many babies are in there! ack!
Casey enjoyed this post. she is the same way with spiders chasing her and stuff
Aunt Lori - I'm not surprised Roxanne was fearless. It was at your house I learned if you leave them alone, they will leave you alone. EXCEPT, they never left me alone! I remember when you were in your old house, Chan and I were upstairs when that was her room and I saw one on the ceiling, and it crawled towards me so I moved onto the other bed.. and it crawled towards me AGAIN!!
Ann Marie - I have a traumatic basement spider story too! I've also, never been the same....
Maaaaaaaaaa - I think he's gone. I haven't seen him again. It's gotten so cold at nights even the bee's have been gone for the last 2 weeks.
Ben - I'm glad someone else can see how they are all out to get us! At least me and casey
Oh no oh no! I'm arachnaphobic too and I can FEEL things crawling on me now! I keep slapping at the back of my head, but it's probably just my hair! Spiders are so bloody scary, and I am so scared I CANNOT be the one to kill them, that means getting CLOSE, hello! The only time recently I did it myself was because no one was up at that time, so I found a spray and sprayed from an angle where I could run, and sprayed and sprayed. It didn't matter that it had curled up, they SOOOO fake it!
Post a Comment