Sunday, September 14, 2008

Dating Decisions

My first lesson to teach was today. On Dating Decisions. Great...... I wasn't too excited about it, but I decided that it couldn't be that bad. Right? Well... kind of right.

I started by asking them if they had set any dating standards yet, since most of them are 15. And I got some basic answers and I gave some basic explanations. One of the other leaders in the class said that you needed to decide what your physical intimacy limitations were. Like, holding hands, kissing, no making out, no parking. And one of the girls asked what parking was... great....

"It's when a boy takes you somewhere where you are alone and then usually tries to pull moves."

One of the girls says, "Oh yeah, like there is anywhere to park around here."

Oh us leaders (weird weird weird to have just said that! I feel so old) laughed and told them there were PLENTY of places to park. Anywhere, especially since there are so many fields. Then one of the girls looks at me..

"Have you ever parked?"

Awkward...... "No." At least I tried to remember if I had. And I remembered this boy from Mexico that took me out on a date my freshman year in college. He asked if I had ever seen the view of Rexburg from up on the hill. I said, no. And then on the way up there I started to get really uncomfortable and realized what was going on. We parked and I pushed myself up against the passenger door as far away from him as possible and his wanton eyes, and said, "wow, yeah, this is really pretty.... Can you take me home? I have a lot of homework to do" (thank HEAVENS for that excuse, because, really, who doesn't have tons of homework ALL the time?)

He took me home, I was glad because he was starting to talk about how his family owns a pharmacy company in Mexico and how useful I could be in that business (because I was majoring in Health Science). Ehhh, creepy! I met this guy while I was stretching in the gym. Weird, huh. He asked me on a date then. And then took me to Ramierez, anyone who knows what that is will laugh. On a date.... to a fast food Mexican place- probably to set the mood.

And so I was glad, that I hadn't really ever parked so when I told the girls no, I was telling the truth. I almost want to teach them that.

"Girls, when you are tempted or in a bad situation, think about how you could be teaching a Young Womens class someday and then how one of your girls will ask you if you've ever done what it is your about to do." Yeah... that'll put their chastity belts right back on.


Jillene said...

I plead the 5th on this one! I had a wild phase in my life which I won't comment about! (0:

You are going to be a great YW leader! The girls are lucky to have you!

I love that the guy took you to a fast food place on a date! I would have asked to go home then! Cheapskate!!

Julie said...

I've parked. But there were no moves put on me. Okay, none that made me talk to my bishop. :)

Brittany said...

I remember teaching that lesson to my Beehives. Does anyone else think they need to update those manuals? Not for content, but just for the names. Who knows any 12 year olds named Kathy, Susan and Linda nowadays? Why are ALL of the example stories with girls named Kathy, Susan and Linda?! I want to see a manual with an example story about EmmaLeigh, London and Madison.

Adam and Kristina said...

Does it count if you were in college? Or if the car had a stick shift? It did make things much more difficult with a giant gear in the middle.

Not that I'd know, of course.

The Raybould Family said...

Jillene- Yeah! Cheap! I think he thought he wanted to get me into the mood for Mexican for the rest of my life? And thank you for your niceness :)

Julie - I think that's what happens to the majority of parkers.

Brittany - The story I read didn't even have a name. Just, "a leaders 15 year old daughter said" blah blah. But I do agree.

Kristina - Totally doesn't count if your in college.

*MARY* said...

I can't wait for my first "parking" experience. Maybe when the kids go off to college.

TyBritBoyce said...

Of course you met that guy while stretching at the gym! You were always at the gym, I always saw you there! My friend Lauren and I went to the gym last year (both married and she was pregnant) and we got hit on while stretching! Very funny, it's the happening place to be hit on!
You brought up a good point that now you're the leader of the girls dating and can be so glad you made good choices! Yea!

The Raybould Family said...

Mary - now that your married, I bet you'll find that you'd rather just park it at your own home.

Brit - Remember when we went to the spinning class at 6:30 in the morning? Man... I wish I could do spinning regularly, that kicked my trash. And I even brought a wedding picture to stress the point of, "See! This could be you all for the low low price of one soul." (and keeping your standards) ;)

Trish in Texas said...

Just wanted to stop in and say hi! Thanks for commenting on my blog. Good luck in YW! It sounds like you're doing a fantastic job!

Ann Marie said...

Haha..ramirez for a date?? Yeah pretty sure I went to the sweethearts dance this past year and he totally took me to ramirez...ummm...was I all dressed up and lookin really hot?? Yes, yes I was! And is the place totally ghetto? I think that would be a yes also. Junk!
I bet you are such a great YW leader!! Way to be!

Lindsey Gilbert said...

i still think i should have came and been a guest speaker ha ha

ramsam said...

Holy Crap.

Holy holy CRAP.

I can never be a Young Woman's advisor.

Anonymous said...

Whit,it would totally be a good idea to tell them you were glad that you could tell the truth when asked that question, but let me tell you what I told women whom I called to be my YW leaders and teachers - Your past is your past and shouldn't be brought up to the girls you teach(if there was questionable stuff) Some women think they should teach by thier bad example (what not to do) not realizing that the girls that won't do the bad things, wouldn't do them anyway, and the line walkers will look at this good YW leader and say, she made wrong choices and is doing alright now... I can sin a little now, repent and be just like her when I grow up. Opps, not a good thing. You are great and perfect for those girls! Have a blast!

boxerlover said...

It sounds like you are teaching those girls some very good standards. They will remember it. I taught Young Womens for a while and I loved it. I sometimes thought they weren't listening but they are! Good job!

boxerlover said...

It sounds like you are teaching those girls some very good standards. They will remember it. I taught Young Womens for a while and I loved it. I sometimes thought they weren't listening but they are! Good job!

Trudy said...

How sweet. I would be petrified to teach YW!! I'm clad there are others out there more suited for the job. You and Jaren never went parking!?! How long did you date? HAHA I’m sure you were the perfect couple!

Jen said...

Love, love, love working with the Young Women! If I didn't have four little kids and a job I'd be coveting your calling.

Royal City Valentine's. Does that ring a bell? They aren't LDS.

The Raybould Family said...

Trish - thanks for stopping by :) come again!

Ann Marie - hahahaha, on a dance date?? Oh man, that takes the cake. Mine was a weekend date.

Lindsey - SO GLAD YOUR FINALLY COMMENTING!!!!! But.. what would you have said? That you've never parked? hahaha.

Ramona - you can always just act like you didn't hear them. I would have, but I only had 3 girls and 2 other advisers in there.

Aunt Lori - sounds good to me! I can empathize with them on many many levels. It will just be hard not to talk about it. We all know how much I like to talk.... gotta learn how to keep my mouth shut.

Denise - It's so funny because I feel like I was just in young womens and I remember listening. But also being bored... very bored. I hope I'm not boring! haha

Trudy - hahaha, you see... Jaren and I dated for quite a while, but I didn't like him at first. Well.. I guess I didn't want to date him.. long story.. I posted about it, it's called "Our Story" not sure on the month I posted it. I might post something about it again, though. So, when I finally let him kiss me I left 2 weeks later to Utah. I guess there was this one time. He took me up on the hill into one of his potato cellars to watch a movie. But at that time I wasn't even holding his hand. haha, so is it considered parking when you don't even hold hands or kiss? hahaha

Jen - I guess it's an easy calling since I just have school full time, no babies... yet. :) The last name Valentine rings a bell. I bet my dad knows who they are. My last name was Gilbert. Did you ever meet any of those?

Lisa said...

HI Whitney, I just wanted to say hi and tell you how much I enjoyed your post. Those Values lesson's can really be a trick. Having a 14 year old boy-crazy-daughter of my own makes me very grateful for leaders like you.
And actually, yes, I think those pamphlets DO need to be updated, although, they ARE better than they used to be. Did any of us actually know what Heavy Petting was?

Leslie said...

Hey...found you on Mormon Mommy Blogs. This is a great post! Also...I lived in Rexburg for 3 years (my husband is on leave from BYU-I right now and we'll be back there in another year) and totally know Ramierez! I totally get the mood-setting atmosphere :).

Amy said...

I saw your comment on my blog about the stars.. all they are is a tin star... sprayed darker if you want and scrap book paper ...held on with modge podge and then spray glitter at the end. Easy Breezy. The think that costs is the ribbon... the more the better. Hope that helps!

Rowboat said...

kristina and ramsam's comments cracked me up. nicely done girls. and good luck teaching the class! i'm sure lots of interesting things will come up.

Anonymous said...

OK, I was a young womens leader and thank heavens no one ever asked me if I parked!! LOL!
fun blog!