It's official. This pregnancy is continuing to be worse than the first. I am so excited for the baby. To have another child. I have been feeling stronger, bigger movements and feel kicks all throughout the day. That is the light in all this. All I think about is this kid. What's best for her/him. So... I continue to force food in my mouth ever hour or so. I fight the nausea; not as often as with the first 15 weeks, but it still comes a few times a day. Some days are better than others, some not so much. I have good energy days where the low blood sugar thing doesn't seem to be so bad and then I have days where it's all I can do to make it off the couch to the bathroom or to the kitchen to make something to eat. Unfortunately, it's a rare thing to find food that tastes good. My fall back snack that I had been eating every day; saltine cracker, cheese slice and pickle slice that had tasted so yummy isn't so yummy anymore. I have no idea what happened. Sunday I made it, took a bite and didn't like it. I forced it all down, but I haven't had it again since. I had some boneless honey BBQ wings from Applebees the other day and it was the best tasting thing I've had all pregnancy. Except for maybe the fajita's from Hard Rock in Florida.
Cramping. It's getting worse and coming more often. It seemed to mostly come at nights and not last for too long. Well, now it's almost all day and is really painful. The only good thing I think is that I should hopefully be done with so much cramping with my pregnancies since now both sides will have been used and stretched. That's my hope, anyway.
PSD. It has begun. I noticed a week ago while taking off my pajama bottoms that it felt a bit uncomfortable standing on one leg. Well, every day since I notice it doing different things. And in the last 2 days or so it's been bugging to bend over, lean down or stand up. I'm still feeling okay walking, it's not too bad. I had hoped to have a little more time without it, but maybe because my body has done it all before those tendons and ligaments are all weaker, so it's happening sooner?
The Tummy. When I took a nap yesterday, I was on my right side and went to shift a little back to the left and something pulled on the right side of my stomach quite painfully. I went back to the former position, but forgot about it and went to shift again and ouch. It's too early for this!!! Then tonight on the couch I yawned and my stomach expanded and the same painful pulling/stretching on the middle/right side of my stomach happened again. I'm only 18 bloody weeks! Not big enough for that. It's too earlyyyyyyyy. Yes, that was whining.
It is what it is. I've accepted that, I know I was signing up for 9 months of not being comfortable and being in pain for most of it. I will honestly say I didn't expect it to be worse than the first one. But it is. So, I decided that I expect the third to be worse. So, I shouldn't be too disappointed, right? I'm all for waiting for quite a while before number 3.
Lately I've been really just wanting to know exactly what it looks like inside. Not that I want to see for myself, but I would like a nice diagram or drawn up picture. I need to understand and I need to know the severity of it. There's nothing I can do to change how this pregnancy (or any of my pregnancies) will go, but I just feel better knowing. All I know is the term is "severely bifurcated uterus" But that seems to encompass quite a few scenarios. Tomorrow I go in for my 18 week and find out what we are having (yay!) and my doctor is making notes of things he see's or something like that so he has something to send the Perinatologist. I'm going to Idaho Falls to have an ultrasound by a Perinatologist who comes up from Primary Children's (I think) in Salt Lake. This is the one extra step they are doing this time knowing what we know. I am hoping, but not totally expecting, he/she can tell me something more. If not, I think after I have this kid I'll go into someone who knows what to look for and has a high res ultrasound machine to take a look and give me better answers. Unless my doc can during the c-section. I had one at the hospital here in Rexburg after I had Naomi, but it was just to determine if I had 2 kidney's and had blood flow to those and either uter and ovaries. And I did to all.
If the trend of "with my girls, I wasn't as sick as I was with my boys" or vice versa holds true for me, this should be a boy. But I wont be surprised if it's not. I don't hold a lot of stock in wives tales or the trend. I want a boy someday, so it would be nice to have one now. I'd have to buy a few things, but not much. And it would be nice to have a girl because I already know I like them a whole lot and I don't have to buy anything and Naomi would have a sister somewhat close in age. So... we'll see tomorrow!
I vent, I rant, I whine about it all (cause it helps), but I am always so grateful that I can carry a child. That I am pregnant. That things are going well with the baby no matter what is going on with me. It just takes it's toll - the sick and the pain all day every day. Some days I'm in better moods, some days not so much. Today is a mellow kind of mood. Which is why the tone of this post is kind of blahish. Oh, I haven't mentioned that having to eat all the bloody time is putting weight on like I did with Nae. My good start isn't meaning a whole lot. And it's worse since I haven't been able to exercise much. Since I fight for energy all day. Anyway.... maybe I'll talk about it later.
Showing posts with label pregnant weekly rundown. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnant weekly rundown. Show all posts
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
16.5 Weeks - No. 2
A few new things. Besides feeling like my uter has decided to fall out of my abdomen and make laying on my right side uncomfortable because of gravity.
Oh wait, that's right, that's news too. Baby is on the LEFT side this time. Here, I thought it was on the right - tricky little nugget. So explains that I'm still cramping. I thought I wouldn't cramp so much or so bad since the right side had already been stretched. But we are doing it all over again.
The cramping has picked up. It's more often and hurts worse than I remember it hurting with Nae.
The other night, I was getting out of my Pajama pants to get into bed, and I was standing on my left leg and started feeling the pull of PSD. A little pain. I thought, oh crud, here it goes again. See, I expected to have it again, but I sure hoped it would wait a bit longer to show itself. My guess is in another month it'll hurt constantly.
It's the strangest thing. Please tell me I'm not the only one. It sounds weird tryin to describe it but you can only get what I'm saying if you see it in person. And Jaren's been the only one around when it happens. So, I'll feel a little funny sensation where the baby is. Like pressure, like something pushing on my stomach from the inside (since that is exactly what is happening). I'll look down and there will be a huge lump. My whole (or as much as can come out) uterus is pushing out/up against my stomach. You can cup your hand around it and it's like holding the baby in your hand. It's been happening more often and that's how I knew it was on the left side. 3:30 one morning when the call of the wild woke me up, I rolled onto my back and felt it, I put my hand on my tummy and woke RIGHT up - LEFT SIDE?!?!!. In my very tired state I was scared and couldn't sleep the rest of the night. In the morning I just realized that we just have to hope it'll stretch to at least 37 weeks like the right side did. That's it. No scary stuff. And it's so nice to know it works! So, I have 2 halves of working uteri. And they both somehow come out of my tummy while I'm laying on my back. It's like a buoy. The kid isn't strong enough to push it's whole body against it to push it up. Right? I've just never heard anyone elses uter's rising. But, after a little while it goes back in. And if it's really out there and I get up or do something that flexes my muscles and forces it back - OUCH.
I felt the kid move for the first time the day before I turned 14 weeks while in Florida. It was a tiny little flutter, but I knew it wasn't gas. It wasn't! And since then I'd felt it every few days, just a little flutter. Then about a week ago I started feeling kicks. Maybe one a day or so. Usually when my pants were pressed up against it. But yesterday (when I finally found chocolate tasted good again, well, dark chocolate anyway (which I don't usually care for...)) it was kicking and moving a ton! It was really nice to feel it so well. It was then I had my emotional experience.
I didn't realize until yesterday that I had been keeping myself as emotionally unattached to this pregnancy as possible. I had wondered a bit why I didn't feel an overwhelming sense of attachment and connection to this fetus like I did Naomi. With Nae it was like that from day one. Well, even before day one, really. When I found out I was pregnant with this one I cried and cried. Tears of gratitude and relief. Since finding out about my "condition" I've worried about being able to get pregnant again or being able to get pregnant again very easily (it took 2 tries with Nae). So, when we got pregnant on the first try I was immensely grateful and relieved. But then I was scared. Scared of a miscarriage, which so many women have and is very common with someone with my innards. So, I've kept myself as detached as possible so if it happened I wouldn't be as devastated as I would have otherwise. Now, I don't think I realized this fully until yesterday. That's why I've waited as long as I have to make the pregnancy public. I was sitting down, changing Naomi's diaper (usually where epiphanies happen, right?) thinking about how I was finally really feeling excited about the baby. And thinking in more detail of it and what it means and what it might be like and what it would be like when it comes and picturing my life with two kids. I realized that I was holding so much back for fear of miscarriage and with feeling the baby move so much that fear went away. Well, mostly. I'm still nervous, but I'm a few days away from 17 weeks and am feeling mostly safe. It just feels nice to feel this way again. And to understand why I haven't been as emotionally moved (I cried about every time with Nae) when I hear the heartbeat. It's more a feeling of relief and I say, "It's still alive!" And you know, my ogre mood I'd been in lately has mostly dissipated. I'm a bit more of a happier person.
Onto one more nugget of information. With Nae I often felt dizzy and lightheaded. I'd stand up and immediately have to sit back down again or flop on the floor until the blood returned to my head. Then I'd get up and get whatever I needed to get done done, but I felt better and there wasn't any lingering stuff. I even do this sometime while not pregnant. Mostly in the shower (we have a tiny square thing that doesn't let any steam or heat out). Well, it was getting so bad in the shower that I was basically showering on the ground because I couldn't stand and raise my arms over my head for more than 30 seconds. I moved to our hall shower that is a tub shower - so the heat can move out. I haven't had bouts of "gona pass out, sit, sit sit sit!" that were too bad. But, the last few days I've noticed that I'm getting really tired really easy. Not, like, I'm sleepy tired, but like, I can't lift my arms up tired. I'll have to sit for a while, it was really hard to stand in the kitchen to make a meal. Then yesterday all morning I couldn't take more than 10 steps without being out of breath and needing to drop to the floor or I'd pass out. I couldn't say more than 2 sentences without leaning on the counter and breathing like I'd just sprinted for 5 minutes. Needless to say it was a bit alarming. We live in a split level, I could make it up the first set of stairs and halfway up the next before sitting down to catch my breath and let the blood move to my head again. I can't lift my arms above my head without dropping to the ground till I knew I wasn't going to pass out.
We looked it up and we thought it was low blood sugar. So, I was eating a bit more fruit and I felt better after lunch and then didn't feel so well a while after. After my nap I ate my favorite snack of saltine crackers, cheddar cheese and pickles and felt a bit better. Better enough to put fish sticks and tater tots on a pan for dinner. The first time I've ever done that. But it tasted good, so oh well. Talking to my sister in law, Vicki, she mentioned she had iron deficiency and is taking iron supplements and felt the same way before they diagnosed it. And now she's feeling better. She's also expecting.
Today I've been struggling with the out of breath and getting light headed/dizzy again. But not as severe as yesterday. After waking up from my nap I felt especially bad. Not only super weak, but also a bit nauseous. I grabbed applesauce (which I hate) thinking if it was low blood sugar this should take care of it. I ate it, and nothing. I felt more nauseous and still felt dizzy and weak. So, then I thought, if it's iron I need meat. I made half a sandwich (with pickles, because I can't seem to get enough - wasn't a craving I had with Nae, but Oooo so yummy now) and ate it. Afterwards I felt like I had more energy, not as dizzy and the nausea went away. For a while, anyway. Seems a constant struggle. So, I'm making an appointment tomorrow to have them take my blood and tell me what the heck is going on. I can't live like this. I can't carry Naomi for more than 5 steps. I can't play with her. I can't get anything done because I can't stand in the kitchen for more than a few minutes! Dishes - ugh.
So, I'll post about my results tomorrow! And yay for feeling life; exuberant kicking, wiggling life. Yay for better moods and yay for my daughter who brings me so much joy. And frustration.... some bad habits... that's for another day.
Oh wait, that's right, that's news too. Baby is on the LEFT side this time. Here, I thought it was on the right - tricky little nugget. So explains that I'm still cramping. I thought I wouldn't cramp so much or so bad since the right side had already been stretched. But we are doing it all over again.
The cramping has picked up. It's more often and hurts worse than I remember it hurting with Nae.
The other night, I was getting out of my Pajama pants to get into bed, and I was standing on my left leg and started feeling the pull of PSD. A little pain. I thought, oh crud, here it goes again. See, I expected to have it again, but I sure hoped it would wait a bit longer to show itself. My guess is in another month it'll hurt constantly.
It's the strangest thing. Please tell me I'm not the only one. It sounds weird tryin to describe it but you can only get what I'm saying if you see it in person. And Jaren's been the only one around when it happens. So, I'll feel a little funny sensation where the baby is. Like pressure, like something pushing on my stomach from the inside (since that is exactly what is happening). I'll look down and there will be a huge lump. My whole (or as much as can come out) uterus is pushing out/up against my stomach. You can cup your hand around it and it's like holding the baby in your hand. It's been happening more often and that's how I knew it was on the left side. 3:30 one morning when the call of the wild woke me up, I rolled onto my back and felt it, I put my hand on my tummy and woke RIGHT up - LEFT SIDE?!?!!. In my very tired state I was scared and couldn't sleep the rest of the night. In the morning I just realized that we just have to hope it'll stretch to at least 37 weeks like the right side did. That's it. No scary stuff. And it's so nice to know it works! So, I have 2 halves of working uteri. And they both somehow come out of my tummy while I'm laying on my back. It's like a buoy. The kid isn't strong enough to push it's whole body against it to push it up. Right? I've just never heard anyone elses uter's rising. But, after a little while it goes back in. And if it's really out there and I get up or do something that flexes my muscles and forces it back - OUCH.
I felt the kid move for the first time the day before I turned 14 weeks while in Florida. It was a tiny little flutter, but I knew it wasn't gas. It wasn't! And since then I'd felt it every few days, just a little flutter. Then about a week ago I started feeling kicks. Maybe one a day or so. Usually when my pants were pressed up against it. But yesterday (when I finally found chocolate tasted good again, well, dark chocolate anyway (which I don't usually care for...)) it was kicking and moving a ton! It was really nice to feel it so well. It was then I had my emotional experience.
I didn't realize until yesterday that I had been keeping myself as emotionally unattached to this pregnancy as possible. I had wondered a bit why I didn't feel an overwhelming sense of attachment and connection to this fetus like I did Naomi. With Nae it was like that from day one. Well, even before day one, really. When I found out I was pregnant with this one I cried and cried. Tears of gratitude and relief. Since finding out about my "condition" I've worried about being able to get pregnant again or being able to get pregnant again very easily (it took 2 tries with Nae). So, when we got pregnant on the first try I was immensely grateful and relieved. But then I was scared. Scared of a miscarriage, which so many women have and is very common with someone with my innards. So, I've kept myself as detached as possible so if it happened I wouldn't be as devastated as I would have otherwise. Now, I don't think I realized this fully until yesterday. That's why I've waited as long as I have to make the pregnancy public. I was sitting down, changing Naomi's diaper (usually where epiphanies happen, right?) thinking about how I was finally really feeling excited about the baby. And thinking in more detail of it and what it means and what it might be like and what it would be like when it comes and picturing my life with two kids. I realized that I was holding so much back for fear of miscarriage and with feeling the baby move so much that fear went away. Well, mostly. I'm still nervous, but I'm a few days away from 17 weeks and am feeling mostly safe. It just feels nice to feel this way again. And to understand why I haven't been as emotionally moved (I cried about every time with Nae) when I hear the heartbeat. It's more a feeling of relief and I say, "It's still alive!" And you know, my ogre mood I'd been in lately has mostly dissipated. I'm a bit more of a happier person.
Onto one more nugget of information. With Nae I often felt dizzy and lightheaded. I'd stand up and immediately have to sit back down again or flop on the floor until the blood returned to my head. Then I'd get up and get whatever I needed to get done done, but I felt better and there wasn't any lingering stuff. I even do this sometime while not pregnant. Mostly in the shower (we have a tiny square thing that doesn't let any steam or heat out). Well, it was getting so bad in the shower that I was basically showering on the ground because I couldn't stand and raise my arms over my head for more than 30 seconds. I moved to our hall shower that is a tub shower - so the heat can move out. I haven't had bouts of "gona pass out, sit, sit sit sit!" that were too bad. But, the last few days I've noticed that I'm getting really tired really easy. Not, like, I'm sleepy tired, but like, I can't lift my arms up tired. I'll have to sit for a while, it was really hard to stand in the kitchen to make a meal. Then yesterday all morning I couldn't take more than 10 steps without being out of breath and needing to drop to the floor or I'd pass out. I couldn't say more than 2 sentences without leaning on the counter and breathing like I'd just sprinted for 5 minutes. Needless to say it was a bit alarming. We live in a split level, I could make it up the first set of stairs and halfway up the next before sitting down to catch my breath and let the blood move to my head again. I can't lift my arms above my head without dropping to the ground till I knew I wasn't going to pass out.
We looked it up and we thought it was low blood sugar. So, I was eating a bit more fruit and I felt better after lunch and then didn't feel so well a while after. After my nap I ate my favorite snack of saltine crackers, cheddar cheese and pickles and felt a bit better. Better enough to put fish sticks and tater tots on a pan for dinner. The first time I've ever done that. But it tasted good, so oh well. Talking to my sister in law, Vicki, she mentioned she had iron deficiency and is taking iron supplements and felt the same way before they diagnosed it. And now she's feeling better. She's also expecting.
Today I've been struggling with the out of breath and getting light headed/dizzy again. But not as severe as yesterday. After waking up from my nap I felt especially bad. Not only super weak, but also a bit nauseous. I grabbed applesauce (which I hate) thinking if it was low blood sugar this should take care of it. I ate it, and nothing. I felt more nauseous and still felt dizzy and weak. So, then I thought, if it's iron I need meat. I made half a sandwich (with pickles, because I can't seem to get enough - wasn't a craving I had with Nae, but Oooo so yummy now) and ate it. Afterwards I felt like I had more energy, not as dizzy and the nausea went away. For a while, anyway. Seems a constant struggle. So, I'm making an appointment tomorrow to have them take my blood and tell me what the heck is going on. I can't live like this. I can't carry Naomi for more than 5 steps. I can't play with her. I can't get anything done because I can't stand in the kitchen for more than a few minutes! Dishes - ugh.
So, I'll post about my results tomorrow! And yay for feeling life; exuberant kicking, wiggling life. Yay for better moods and yay for my daughter who brings me so much joy. And frustration.... some bad habits... that's for another day.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
37 Weeks: The End
But, just like the others, this re-caps the week before. And what a week that was. Since I kept separate posts for all of the crazy developments I'll sum everything up in bullets. We like bullets.
- went into my 36 week appointment excited to see an ultrasound and find out if I was progressing at all and hopefully get a date to do a version.
- walked out of my 36 week appointment in shock finding out I had preeclampsia, we can't do a version, it's a for sure c-section and she will be coming sooner than later.
- filled up one 24 hour urine jug and had to get another - so proud.
- spent the next 2 days wondering and driving myself nuts - "how bad is the preeclampsia?" "when exactly will she come?" "is she okay?" "will I make it to full term?"
- Thursday we had our first Non Stress Test (NST) and the nurse was great and the entire time baby girl was performing wonderfully. Very active and had everything we wanted to see. I left there in a bit of a high with knowing she really was protected in her little bubble.
- went to the doctor right after to be told that I'm getting worse, I'm on strict bed rest, no salt and Wednesday is the day.
- we were also told that if I have any crazy mood swings - get really mean all the sudden or loopy and spacey and not at all myself - "get her in here! she is going to seize!" So, of course, Jaren was afraid to leave me alone for a second - would just stare at me trying to determine if I was not myself. My sister basically moved back in.
- Saturday we had another NST and had a super boring nurse. She didn't put the monitor on correctly and her heartbeat was basically flatlining (which is BAD) and it (the monitor - not her heart) kept stopping and starting. We grabbed someone else and she came in - exhuberant as ever and fixed the monitor, gave me apple juice and within 45 seconds of taking a sip the baby was all. over. the. place.
- the nurse said, "She likes juice, give her juice because in a few days all she will have is milk." Jaren had Lindsey buy me orange juice and has been forcing down two huge glasses a day. :) All because his little girl likes juice. It was too cute to be annoying.
- Another NST Monday (yesterday) and she performed a bit better, but was still not as active as she normally is. I just think it's because it's morning time. I felt horrible.
- went to the doctor, they took my urine and blood and gave me a flu shot (never had one in my life). We were given the time for Wednesday and are still waiting on a call from the Hospital for details. If they don't call in the next 2 hours (by noon) I am calling them.
- Lost 2 pounds in the last week - it's water weight since I've been sweating an ocean each night. It's GROSS.
- TONS of acid reflux and indigestion. It's miserable.
It was so weird to me finding out a week ago that I wasn't okay because I felt okay - or I thought I felt okay. A lot of the symptoms I attributed to just being pregnant. I didn't know what was normal or not. The seeing spots? Been happening all the time, I figured it was because of swelling or blood pressure - which is true, but it has to do with a bit more than that. The head aches? Figured it was because I was at the end of my pregnancy. Right rib pain? Well, her head is under my ribs and it's constantly hurting - I couldn't tell the difference between that ache and liver pain. When I thought about everything, I realized that all of these symptoms had come in the previous 2 weeks and had progressively gotten worse.
I felt okay Thursday when I was put on bed rest, but each day I started to feel more lethargic and my head ache got a bit worse. Yesterday was no fun. I feel so tired today. My joints ache worse each day. When I think of how I'm getting out of the last 3 weeks of pregnancy I think, "am I missing out?" "is it like I'm cheating?" Then I think of how horrible the last 2 1/2 months have been and I don't feel bad. Not at all. Not one bit. I'm ready to be done being pregnant and have this little girl I've been wanting and waiting for for much longer than I've been pregnant.
My emotions have been all over the place. From shock, to fear, to confusion, to joy, to sadness, to worry, to absolute exuberance. Right now I'm feeling excited and tired. So excited to finally have her and so so so excited to get my body back... evenutally (just have to wait for the healing to pass). I'm tired because my body is exhausted. I'm also a little worried things wont get done. I have a list of things that need to be done today. I want to be able to leave with my mind only on what is to come and not what my house will look like when we get back. Jaren is getting his hair cut right this second and then he is coming home to be my slave for the rest of the day. It's mostly just picking things up and laundry that needs to be done. And "the bag" needs to be packed.
Today is going to fly. I'm so excited about tomorrow and so nervous about tomorrow. The surgery scares me. I don't know how it could not since it's something I've never had to do before. Jaren has not completely dismissed the idea of standing up and watching her be pulled out. He said it's going to be a spurt of the moment decision. I kind of want to see that part, but I'm too afraid of what I'll see. I don't think I'll be able to detatch myself from my body - all I will see is MY stomach wide open and that can't be good for the mind. It's all going to go by so fast and I don't worry too much about the recovery. I've been informed I'll be given LOTS of really good pain meds and that I just need to get myself up and moving - but to be careful. I'm feeling good about it all.
Jaren talkes about how excited he is. He talks about getting to hold his little girl and we are excited to finally have our family started. We both go into the nursery and stare and talk about it all. We can't wait to see who's of who's she has. He has very long fingers and toes and skinny legs and arms. I have short fingers and toes and a bit more shapely arms and legs :) His nose is bigger and he has brown/hazel eyes and mine are green/blue. He has a dimple and I have two things that could almost pass for dimples but they are kind of close to my mouth. I was one freckled girl. I was a tow head and he was born with blonde/light brown hair that turned dark later. So she could come out with light hair. My hair didn't turn dark till end of high school/college. Will she have hair? All of these things will be answered tomorrow!!!
I will be twittering throughout the time in the hospital. You can see those and get to any pictures I post through that on my side bar. I'm not sure if I'll have the computer or access to the internet while I'm there. So, possibly there wont be any word until this weekend. We will either be home Friday or Saturday.
The end has come not quite how I expected, but I'm so so so grateful to be full term. I'm so grateful that she is fine and so grateful for my doctor who has been keeping such a great eye on me. He genuinely cares and is concerned and it makes me feel like not just some pregnant girl. Because of the college here there are lots and lots of preggies and they come, have one baby and leave. But I'm coming and having all my babies here and so I needed someone who I could build a relationship with and who knew me and my circumstances. He told me I have him all day since it's his day off tomorrow. I'm glad he wont be rushing and he has set aside the time specifically for me.
I'm going to try to finish a post to have posted tomorrow, but we will see. Right now I'm going to lie down again as I'm feeling sick and light headed. (so happy to return to "normal" tomorrow)
One more story. I think it's funny. Yesterday after I woke up from my nap (I nap for 2-3 hours because what else am I going to do to pass the time?!!) I ate and then sat down on the couch. After about 20 minutes my chest started to hurt. VERY badly. It felt like someone was on top of my chest and all of my intercostal muscles (the muscles inbetween your ribs) were contracting. I couldn't get to them to rub it since I have sore milk makers in the way. I didn't know WHAT was going on. Jaren came home and wanted me to call the doctor. They were closed (I really didn't want to call). I stood up and walked around and went into the nursery with Jaren while he hung the valance. The whole while in the nursery I was... how do I put this daintily? breaking wind? Yes. Breaking lots of wind. I felt better after about 30 minutes of walking around and sitting very upright. I was still confused about what was going on, but it had passed so I was okay. Later around 10 it came back. Even worse and I started to cry. This time it was all around my rib cage and was a bit lower. Jaren got out the computer and started to look stuff up. One of the diagnoses was indigestion and gas. I'm laughing because, gas??? in my ribs?! Yes, I burp. A lot. But, that much? And then I thought about how high up all of my intestines are and thought... huh..... Naahhhh. Then, the wind started again and gradually I felt better. It was funny. The fact that my ribs hurt and all I needed to do was break some wind and I felt better was such an odd idea to me. But, it was true. It went away! But that experience is just one more thing that makes me so SO glad it's all ending tomorrow. I hope I don't have it again today. As funny as it is, it is very painful.
The beauties of pregnancy!!!! Glamorous, huh? :)
37 Weeks:
Don't forget to guess on the post below!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
36 Weeks: Preeclampsia
Yeah, it's true.
I'm still kind of.... in shock? Umm, I can't quite figure out the right words for how I'm feeling. Like this is unreal? I woke up this morning hoping to see if we can flip her or not at this doctors appointment. Walked in and was excited to see that I hadn't hit a 50 pound weight gain yet. And then the first thing my doc said when he walked in was, "Swollen?".
I held up my hands and said, yeah, can't see my knuckles. And he said, "Your face." Yes, I'm sure glad it is that obvious that my face isn't supposed to be this fat. He looked at my ankles and calves and said he wanted to check my urine for protein. He walked out, walked right back in and said I had WAY too much protein in my urine. Which is bad. I have 2 of the 3 preeclampsia symptoms. My blood pressure isn't too high; I have been taking those "stop cramping" pills that are also used for lowering blood pressure. I have been taking them twice a day every day for 3 weeks so we are going to wait till they are out of my system (since I stopped taking them today) and take my blood pressure again. Because they could have lowered it.
With this new development a version was out of the question and without a version my baby wont flip which means c-section. He told me that even with a version the chances of us turning her were really low given the fact that she still wont budge from her comfy little right side of my uterus. Doing a version would cause too much stress on her given the fact that my body is already under stress.
All of the symptoms he asked me about I had. The swelling, the seeing stars, the headaches, the pain under my right ribcage (liver). I attributed all of these things to just being pregnant. Especially the rib pain, and most of it is her, but in the last week I have been having sharp pains there every once in a while. Which could not be her and is my liver. Unless she's sprained or broken ribs - which I thought was a viable possibility :)
He is glad I'm 36 weeks so she is developed enough to be outside of me and live on her own. They will try to get me to at least 38 weeks. I go in twice a week for nonstress tests at the hospital (first one is this Thursday) and will be seeing him (the doc) every week. But, I could be scheduled for a c-section in that amount of time. We don't know when, it all depends on the stress tests and the blood work I gave them today. I wont find out those results until tomorrow morning. I was also given a big jug (I'm posting a picture - it's too hilarious) to put all of my urine in for the next 24 hours. I have never heard of this - I was laughing hysterically. AND to make it even better, you have to keep it in the fridgerator. I am going to put a post-it that says, "NOT O.J." for Jaren. :)
I also had an ultrasound. Her rear is too far into my pelvis we couldn't see it. We got a split second glance at her face - our first!! Chubby litle cheeks with a little nose.:D I'm so glad to know she has at least those. Her feet, BOTH of them, were up at her face. So funny, she is folded in half, but still kicks me super low! So it means she will put her legs down, give me a good kick, then bring them back up. It makes me laugh. I love this little thing. She is "Frank Breach", he said.
I wouldn't let him leave the room until he answered EVERY SINGLE ONE of my questions. I had him go over every little detail about a c-section and what I needed to bring and what happens before and after and the recovery. One of my biggest concerns was where she was going to go after she came out. I didn't want her out of either (Jaren or I) of our sights if she didn't need the NICU. He told me that after they get her all cleaned up and wrapped up they will bring her and give her to Jaren, unless she needs the NICU - which I'm really hoping she doesn't. And she shouldn't since I'm as far along as I am. Or will be.....
My recovery shouldn't be too rough if I do what I'm supposed to and I TRY(instead of just lie there lazily) to recover. I want to be active again so I'm not worried about that. I'm also going to buy a sort of girdle thing that you can wear while your sleeping - or not, but it should help hold everything together and help with the recovery.
This is all so weird. That's all that I can think to describe it. Weird. I didn't think I would have anything like this ever. I thought I would have a normal pregnancy. I'm not going to get into it on this post. I'm going to write a seperate one on how I feel.
Moving on to this last week:
Swollen body! Big baby.
I'm still kind of.... in shock? Umm, I can't quite figure out the right words for how I'm feeling. Like this is unreal? I woke up this morning hoping to see if we can flip her or not at this doctors appointment. Walked in and was excited to see that I hadn't hit a 50 pound weight gain yet. And then the first thing my doc said when he walked in was, "Swollen?".
I held up my hands and said, yeah, can't see my knuckles. And he said, "Your face." Yes, I'm sure glad it is that obvious that my face isn't supposed to be this fat. He looked at my ankles and calves and said he wanted to check my urine for protein. He walked out, walked right back in and said I had WAY too much protein in my urine. Which is bad. I have 2 of the 3 preeclampsia symptoms. My blood pressure isn't too high; I have been taking those "stop cramping" pills that are also used for lowering blood pressure. I have been taking them twice a day every day for 3 weeks so we are going to wait till they are out of my system (since I stopped taking them today) and take my blood pressure again. Because they could have lowered it.
With this new development a version was out of the question and without a version my baby wont flip which means c-section. He told me that even with a version the chances of us turning her were really low given the fact that she still wont budge from her comfy little right side of my uterus. Doing a version would cause too much stress on her given the fact that my body is already under stress.
All of the symptoms he asked me about I had. The swelling, the seeing stars, the headaches, the pain under my right ribcage (liver). I attributed all of these things to just being pregnant. Especially the rib pain, and most of it is her, but in the last week I have been having sharp pains there every once in a while. Which could not be her and is my liver. Unless she's sprained or broken ribs - which I thought was a viable possibility :)
He is glad I'm 36 weeks so she is developed enough to be outside of me and live on her own. They will try to get me to at least 38 weeks. I go in twice a week for nonstress tests at the hospital (first one is this Thursday) and will be seeing him (the doc) every week. But, I could be scheduled for a c-section in that amount of time. We don't know when, it all depends on the stress tests and the blood work I gave them today. I wont find out those results until tomorrow morning. I was also given a big jug (I'm posting a picture - it's too hilarious) to put all of my urine in for the next 24 hours. I have never heard of this - I was laughing hysterically. AND to make it even better, you have to keep it in the fridgerator. I am going to put a post-it that says, "NOT O.J." for Jaren. :)
I also had an ultrasound. Her rear is too far into my pelvis we couldn't see it. We got a split second glance at her face - our first!! Chubby litle cheeks with a little nose.:D I'm so glad to know she has at least those. Her feet, BOTH of them, were up at her face. So funny, she is folded in half, but still kicks me super low! So it means she will put her legs down, give me a good kick, then bring them back up. It makes me laugh. I love this little thing. She is "Frank Breach", he said.
I wouldn't let him leave the room until he answered EVERY SINGLE ONE of my questions. I had him go over every little detail about a c-section and what I needed to bring and what happens before and after and the recovery. One of my biggest concerns was where she was going to go after she came out. I didn't want her out of either (Jaren or I) of our sights if she didn't need the NICU. He told me that after they get her all cleaned up and wrapped up they will bring her and give her to Jaren, unless she needs the NICU - which I'm really hoping she doesn't. And she shouldn't since I'm as far along as I am. Or will be.....
My recovery shouldn't be too rough if I do what I'm supposed to and I TRY(instead of just lie there lazily) to recover. I want to be active again so I'm not worried about that. I'm also going to buy a sort of girdle thing that you can wear while your sleeping - or not, but it should help hold everything together and help with the recovery.
This is all so weird. That's all that I can think to describe it. Weird. I didn't think I would have anything like this ever. I thought I would have a normal pregnancy. I'm not going to get into it on this post. I'm going to write a seperate one on how I feel.
Moving on to this last week:
- stronger worse cramps in front and back
- sharp rib pain
- lack of nesting, lack of motivation
- found I like decorating onsies and I am currently making a boppy cover
- made two nursing covers and am going to make two more - very impressed with myself
- trouble sleeping - saturday night or sunday morning I was up from 4 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. I layed in bed for an hour and a half trying to fall back asleep. Finally, after starting to feel really sick to my stomach I got up, ate and read and then went back to bed.
- had one day where she didn't move until late afternoon and it scared me to death
- then every single day after that she has been moving nonstop it feels like - I can't believe it. She is SO ACTIVE!
- the poor thing hiccups 5-10 times a day. Probably more like 10. And it is a hard thumping that reverberates through my uterus. You can see my belly jump.
- bought the last of the things I need. 2 bottles and a sleep positioner. I'm ready - good thing too, since she could come any day.
- Jaren is afraid to leave me alone because the doctor mentioned seizures. I'm not worried, they will take her out before it ever came close to that. And it's weird because I feel okay.... so it's weird to know what's going on with my body.
Swollen body! Big baby.
The JUG.
Big belly, but no stretch marks! (On my belly... other places - that's a different story)
Belly button is still an innie! Rather shallow and small now.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
35 Weeks: Random Updates
Anything new?
Just that the cramping has come back (and is more painful) even though I'm still taking those pills. I feel like it's such a waste of pain if it's not causing dilation. I wont find out if it is (and it's probably not) till next Tuesday.
Each day I think it's impossible for my body to be more uncomfortable and in any more pain. Then the next day I'm proven wrong.
I would LOVE for her to flip so her head isn't nestled under my ribs. Each day she get's a little bigger and so she get's a little higher and now I'm constantly trying to arch my back to relieve some of the pressure/pain. It has to be rather uncomfortable for her, too, right? She is still kicking pretty good, but they aren't as hard. I'm thinking she doesn't have much room to wind up.
90% of the time I move there is grunting and wincing. I asked Jaren if it annoyed him and he said no. I said, good, because I can't help it.
I came to the realization last night that there is no part of my body that is mine. That is what I worked so hard for all of my life since I was 15. Nothing familiar. That, of course, was something I shouldn't have thought about because it caused a not so fun breakdown.
I prefer crying in the shower because then you can blow your nose without the gross boogery-in-kleenex feeling. Have I ever shared my phobia of blowing my nose?? Ohhhh it grosses me OUT.
I've been super amazingly domestic. I want to share the stuff I've made, but some are gifts and we will just have to wait till the recipients get them and then I'll post pictures of my awesomeness.
I am working on some projects for the nursery and as soon as they are done I'll share pictures of the nursery. Or maybe I'll post some anyway with naked walls so I can post some later with not so naked walls.
Where did my nesting energy go? I'm in a funk. I get up, eat breakfast, then want to lay back down and go back to sleep. Waste my WHOLE morning. I need a kick in the rear. Which I think will only come from my own foot. But it's hard since I cant even touch my foot.
This is projected to be Jaren's last week of spud harvest. It will be full of late nights and a super bored wife. But come Sunday morning - he is MINE!!! Very, VERY excited about that.
Weight is still piling on. Faster than the "in the last trimester you gain about a pound a week..." nonsense. I'm eating well, VERY well and not a lot at all. I'm not going hungry, but I am not shoving all sorts of calories down my throat. It's been a month since I've stopped eating sweets and it's seemed to do diddly. I seem to be getting even more swollen, too. Even my lips. UHG.
Unless it's below freezing in our bedroom at night I am HOT and sweating and trying (unsuccessfully b/c it hurts too bad) to roll around to get comfortable. And I'm not exaggerating about the temperature. It needs to be around 32 degree's. Thank heavens Jaren likes to sleep in the cold.
PSD pain is getting worse and worse. Now when I wake up in the middle of the night to waddle to the bathroom I'm about brought to my knees. But falling down would mean having to get back up, which would hurt worse and when I really REALLY have to pee that process just wont work. So I just wince and make noises.
Jaren sleeps through all of my painful noises when I get up to go to the bathroom and the grunting trying to get back into bed and the rusteling of the covers as I try to get them back over me. Then when my head hits the pillow he wakes up and tries to put the covers over me and asks, "are you ok? What do I need to do?" With which I laugh and tell him to just go back to bed. And he does. :) Wonder if this will be how it will be with the feedings?? We'll have to see.
Read that pregnant women have an increase of mucus (gross, I know). I didn't know it would be like a constant stuffy cold!! Thank heavens for Mucinex D.
35 Weeks:
I am totally completely swollen. I've put on 4 pounds in the last week (HOWWWWWWW?!?!?!!!) and the only thing I can think of is that it's more water. Which would explain why my face is swollen, my LIPS, my hands (can't hardly see my knuckles anymore), and of course, everything else. I can't hardly bend over to put lotion on my calves. How many more weeks do I have?????
Finger on top of her head and hand cupping her rear. She is getting rather large.
Drum roll please.....
I talk about how she is only on one side. She is this large lump that doesn't like to go past my belly button (towards the left of my uterus).
Well, here it is:
From top of head looking down while I'm laying down. So your looking at the top of her head. the smaller lump is her legs.
Please ignore the messyness that is my house. Lots of unfinished projects and I'm currently in the process of decorating for Halloween and Fall. In between naps.
I have room for two in here. My left side is totally empty. Although, since she is getting rather long her legs have taken up space on the bottom left. The thought of two babies in there.... the same pain in BOTH ribs?? Uhg. I'll take my stubborn little one.
What is funny is that people have commented, "is she right there?" while pointing to my right. It's now quite obvious just while standing or sitting. My chiropractor says, "Wow, looks like your pregnant" and I respond, "Yeah, just on one side." Makes him laugh, but he does this every time.
I sure hope this girl flips on her own SOON.
Just that the cramping has come back (and is more painful) even though I'm still taking those pills. I feel like it's such a waste of pain if it's not causing dilation. I wont find out if it is (and it's probably not) till next Tuesday.
Each day I think it's impossible for my body to be more uncomfortable and in any more pain. Then the next day I'm proven wrong.
I would LOVE for her to flip so her head isn't nestled under my ribs. Each day she get's a little bigger and so she get's a little higher and now I'm constantly trying to arch my back to relieve some of the pressure/pain. It has to be rather uncomfortable for her, too, right? She is still kicking pretty good, but they aren't as hard. I'm thinking she doesn't have much room to wind up.
90% of the time I move there is grunting and wincing. I asked Jaren if it annoyed him and he said no. I said, good, because I can't help it.
I came to the realization last night that there is no part of my body that is mine. That is what I worked so hard for all of my life since I was 15. Nothing familiar. That, of course, was something I shouldn't have thought about because it caused a not so fun breakdown.
I prefer crying in the shower because then you can blow your nose without the gross boogery-in-kleenex feeling. Have I ever shared my phobia of blowing my nose?? Ohhhh it grosses me OUT.
I've been super amazingly domestic. I want to share the stuff I've made, but some are gifts and we will just have to wait till the recipients get them and then I'll post pictures of my awesomeness.
I am working on some projects for the nursery and as soon as they are done I'll share pictures of the nursery. Or maybe I'll post some anyway with naked walls so I can post some later with not so naked walls.
Where did my nesting energy go? I'm in a funk. I get up, eat breakfast, then want to lay back down and go back to sleep. Waste my WHOLE morning. I need a kick in the rear. Which I think will only come from my own foot. But it's hard since I cant even touch my foot.
This is projected to be Jaren's last week of spud harvest. It will be full of late nights and a super bored wife. But come Sunday morning - he is MINE!!! Very, VERY excited about that.
Weight is still piling on. Faster than the "in the last trimester you gain about a pound a week..." nonsense. I'm eating well, VERY well and not a lot at all. I'm not going hungry, but I am not shoving all sorts of calories down my throat. It's been a month since I've stopped eating sweets and it's seemed to do diddly. I seem to be getting even more swollen, too. Even my lips. UHG.
Unless it's below freezing in our bedroom at night I am HOT and sweating and trying (unsuccessfully b/c it hurts too bad) to roll around to get comfortable. And I'm not exaggerating about the temperature. It needs to be around 32 degree's. Thank heavens Jaren likes to sleep in the cold.
PSD pain is getting worse and worse. Now when I wake up in the middle of the night to waddle to the bathroom I'm about brought to my knees. But falling down would mean having to get back up, which would hurt worse and when I really REALLY have to pee that process just wont work. So I just wince and make noises.
Jaren sleeps through all of my painful noises when I get up to go to the bathroom and the grunting trying to get back into bed and the rusteling of the covers as I try to get them back over me. Then when my head hits the pillow he wakes up and tries to put the covers over me and asks, "are you ok? What do I need to do?" With which I laugh and tell him to just go back to bed. And he does. :) Wonder if this will be how it will be with the feedings?? We'll have to see.
Read that pregnant women have an increase of mucus (gross, I know). I didn't know it would be like a constant stuffy cold!! Thank heavens for Mucinex D.
35 Weeks:
I am totally completely swollen. I've put on 4 pounds in the last week (HOWWWWWWW?!?!?!!!) and the only thing I can think of is that it's more water. Which would explain why my face is swollen, my LIPS, my hands (can't hardly see my knuckles anymore), and of course, everything else. I can't hardly bend over to put lotion on my calves. How many more weeks do I have?????
Finger on top of her head and hand cupping her rear. She is getting rather large.
Drum roll please.....I talk about how she is only on one side. She is this large lump that doesn't like to go past my belly button (towards the left of my uterus).
Well, here it is:
From top of head looking down while I'm laying down. So your looking at the top of her head. the smaller lump is her legs.
Please ignore the messyness that is my house. Lots of unfinished projects and I'm currently in the process of decorating for Halloween and Fall. In between naps.Looking at my belly from underneath. This seems to be the most revealing of shots. My fingers are centered above my belly.
I have room for two in here. My left side is totally empty. Although, since she is getting rather long her legs have taken up space on the bottom left. The thought of two babies in there.... the same pain in BOTH ribs?? Uhg. I'll take my stubborn little one.What is funny is that people have commented, "is she right there?" while pointing to my right. It's now quite obvious just while standing or sitting. My chiropractor says, "Wow, looks like your pregnant" and I respond, "Yeah, just on one side." Makes him laugh, but he does this every time.
I sure hope this girl flips on her own SOON.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
34 Weeks: How Is She Going to Come Out?!
Your guess is as good as mine.
We went to the doctor Tuesday and everything was going well. I was in a great mood - my blood pressure was off the charts. So they had a nurse come in and manually take it twice: first time was 102!!! Oh man... I about cried. I realized it was the only thing that was constant pre pregnancy that has come out during pregnancy (at the end, of course.... but still). Second time was 110; still MUCH better, but not as low as what I used to be. It made me a bit sad that my very very healthy and in shape self has long since been gone. But I am VERY hopeful and looking forward to getting my body back and making it mine again. What I'm happy with, what I'm used to.
Anywho: quick update then I'll run into the different birthing scenarios.
Oh the possibilities:
She will come one of two ways: C section or vaginal birth (what other ways are there? Unless there's something new that I've not heard of....)
How we will get to either of those points will go one of these ways:
It feels really nice to have some type of plan for each scenario. I'm not just sitting here wondering. I'm more terrified of the turning than I am of the birth(with the birth I get an epidural, not so with the turning). I hear how absolutly painful it is and I've already had a bit of a taste - and THAT was very painful. I cannot imagine a full on attack. I've been assured that she will be fine throughout all of it. They monitor her heart rate and wont force anything. If at any point she is under stress I'll opt out and just go for a c section. I really really REALLY don't want her stressed. She's this poor tiny little innocent thing that doesn't know she's being naughty so I will do whatever is best for her.
I feel very at peace with the whole situation. I know that with whatever happens both her and I will be fine. I just don't know exactly how we will get to that point. It's a bit scary at times.
Lately I can't stop thinking about holding her, seeing her and taking care of her. I can't imagine a little girl that looks like me - all I see is a dark haired, dark eyed and possibly dark skinned little thing. Which is all Jaren. I was a tow head and then my hair started to get dark end of high school and in College went the brown it is now. So it's possible she could come out blonde, but I think it would go dark before she even hit Jr. High because of her daddy.
She's around 5 pounds now and I keep thinking she's a BABY in there. A full sized little baby. She needs to have the finishing touches for her lung and nerve development, but she is getting so big!
I'm trying to be patient... I'm very, very excited. And very uncomfortable, so I'm trying to keep myself occupied. I love this little girl and am soooo excited to have her. She has been very badly wanted for quite some time.
34 Weeks:
I was tired and cranky
The PJ pants(maternity) are courtesy of my sister, Lindsey who had mercy on my "no pants fit me anymore!" dilemma. I have 2 pairs of jeans and b/c of her; 2 pairs of lounge pants. I wear 2 of Jaren's shorts, too. And that's it! I really really look forward to loosing the weight so I have clothes to wear again.
We went to the doctor Tuesday and everything was going well. I was in a great mood - my blood pressure was off the charts. So they had a nurse come in and manually take it twice: first time was 102!!! Oh man... I about cried. I realized it was the only thing that was constant pre pregnancy that has come out during pregnancy (at the end, of course.... but still). Second time was 110; still MUCH better, but not as low as what I used to be. It made me a bit sad that my very very healthy and in shape self has long since been gone. But I am VERY hopeful and looking forward to getting my body back and making it mine again. What I'm happy with, what I'm used to.
Anywho: quick update then I'll run into the different birthing scenarios.
- - been taking the "stop cramping" pills for over a week now and menstrual cramps are pretty much all gone. Just get the sharp quick painful ones when I walk - not constantly, but still pretty regular while walking.
- - pretty sure bladder infection is gone. Didn' t know I had one in the first place.... so I'm assuming the antibiotics did the trick.
- - Mommy came all last week and helped a TON. Cleaned, helped me de-clutter and kept me company. The biggest project - the nursery - got done because of her. I would have been so overwhelmed.
- - Jaren set up the crib last Wednesday and I LOVE IT. All I do is go in and just stare and stare.
- - I also go in and grab my blessing dress and stare and hold it - I'm in love. So glad Mom held onto that.
- - Really really looking forward to spud harvest being over so I get my husband back. This has been the least demanding (this is my 3rd I've been married to him for) so far, so I shouldn't be complaining. But I miss him.
- - since regulating my own diet the scale has been somewhat under control.
- - Still have a super inny belly button
- - no stretch marks on belly - I check every day
- - but have found them elsewhere... and found some more this morning - REALLY bummed about it.
- - rib pain get's worse every day. The bigger she get's the larger her head is and it's constantly lodged under my ribs. Just my right side, but it's lately been hurting on both sides even though she's only on one side.
- - Informed Jaren I'm going to whine a lot about being miserably uncomfortable and in pain because it makes me feel better. He's ok with it.
- - Amazing how whining actually does make you feel better
- - I think I just need those Advent bottles (so expensive!) and then I'm pretty well set.... I think..... I hope.
Oh the possibilities:
She will come one of two ways: C section or vaginal birth (what other ways are there? Unless there's something new that I've not heard of....)
How we will get to either of those points will go one of these ways:
- At 36 weeks I stop taking my cramping pills and go in for an ultrasound to try to see if they can see why she wont budge. I'll also get "checked" again.....
- At this ultrasound if we see that she cannot move or budge then we schedule C section from there. We'll see if I can swing 38 weeks.... but I doubt it.
- Unless I go into labor before or she decides to turn by 38 weeks we will try to turn her. I'll go in the hospital, they will give me stuff to relax my uterus and some stuff for the pain, take an ultrasound find bum, head and placenta then a nurse and my doc will start the pain, I mean... process. He said they will try a front somersault, if she wont move, they will try the opposite way and if she wont move that way either; they give up. No need to try when obviously there's a reason she wont move. And then we would schedule a C section for a few days later.
- If I go into labor and she is breech and they have already established she wont flip, they will automatically take me in and do a C section.
- If at 38 weeks they get her turned, my doc is pretty sure that because she will be bigger she wont turn back around. So we wait.... and wait till my body and her's decides it's time to get on with life and get her out.
Or.
- We will enduce depending on the situation and what is going on and what my doctor thinks is best.
It feels really nice to have some type of plan for each scenario. I'm not just sitting here wondering. I'm more terrified of the turning than I am of the birth(with the birth I get an epidural, not so with the turning). I hear how absolutly painful it is and I've already had a bit of a taste - and THAT was very painful. I cannot imagine a full on attack. I've been assured that she will be fine throughout all of it. They monitor her heart rate and wont force anything. If at any point she is under stress I'll opt out and just go for a c section. I really really REALLY don't want her stressed. She's this poor tiny little innocent thing that doesn't know she's being naughty so I will do whatever is best for her.
I feel very at peace with the whole situation. I know that with whatever happens both her and I will be fine. I just don't know exactly how we will get to that point. It's a bit scary at times.
Lately I can't stop thinking about holding her, seeing her and taking care of her. I can't imagine a little girl that looks like me - all I see is a dark haired, dark eyed and possibly dark skinned little thing. Which is all Jaren. I was a tow head and then my hair started to get dark end of high school and in College went the brown it is now. So it's possible she could come out blonde, but I think it would go dark before she even hit Jr. High because of her daddy.
She's around 5 pounds now and I keep thinking she's a BABY in there. A full sized little baby. She needs to have the finishing touches for her lung and nerve development, but she is getting so big!
I'm trying to be patient... I'm very, very excited. And very uncomfortable, so I'm trying to keep myself occupied. I love this little girl and am soooo excited to have her. She has been very badly wanted for quite some time.
34 Weeks:
I was tired and cranky
The PJ pants(maternity) are courtesy of my sister, Lindsey who had mercy on my "no pants fit me anymore!" dilemma. I have 2 pairs of jeans and b/c of her; 2 pairs of lounge pants. I wear 2 of Jaren's shorts, too. And that's it! I really really look forward to loosing the weight so I have clothes to wear again.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
33 Weeks: Much Better
The 4 days I was on bed rest were no fun. It was hard to not be able to do anything. I had my own body as an enforcer because whenever I tried to do anything I hurt. I made an appointment to meet with my doctor (finally off vacation) Monday. I went in and told him everything that had been happening. He was equally flustered and concerned. We listened to her heartbeat which was heard almost through my belly button - made me laugh. A portal to her heart.
Coming into this appointment I felt calm. I felt like I was going to get answers. Then I stepped on the scale. My last appointment was 4 days previous and I put on 3 pounds. I'm to the point where I just laugh about it... not because I'm genuinely entertained, but because I can't believe it. It's out of control. I'm eating really well and It's still piling on - HOW?! I stopped eating sweets since I was told I was borderline Gestational Diabetic. I asked the doc and he is running my blood again and I'm possibly seeing the nutritionist this coming Tuesday at my 34 week appointment. It's weird to be seeing a nutritionist since it's kind of what I went to school for - I've designed many a meal and exercise plan for overweight or diabetic or high blood pressured people. But, this just means I wont have to think, someone else will! I'm stumped because what do I do if I'm hungry??? It HURTS to be so hungry. I guess that's a sign of GD. I really hope I don't have it, but it would explain the massive water retention, out of control weight gain and why I get rather dizzy and sick if I need to eat. Blah.... So, for now I'm just eating very small amounts often of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, protein stuff and drinking LOTS of water. So far so good.
Doctor checked me for dilation - "cervix closed." is what he said. So that's good news! But, can I just say getting "checked" is rather uncomfortable. Not quite what I expected... not too excited to repeat it, but I think this is just the tip of the ice berg for what is in store in the next month and a half.
Baby is still vertically breech. Pretty sure she's dropped. But then she rises back out of my pelvis to nestle her big head under my ribs - such a sweetheart. It was sure weird, though. Waking up and seeing her head bump about 2 inches lower than normal. My lower abdomen was rather protrudy. We are worried she is much too comfortable and doesn't want to move. I'm to the point where I am expecting them trying to turn her and I'm coming to grips that a C section is just as likely as a vaginal birth for me. Not excited about it.... but I can say I wont ever let her forget that she was the first and set the trend. I'll probably even scare her with my scar regularly so she knows it. (all in a lovingly teasing motherly way - don't want to give my child a complex)
Last Thursday they checked for a bladder infection - came back negative. He checked again Monday and said I had lots of bacteria so the likleyhood of an infection is high. So in the 4 days I developed one. Yes, a bladder infection would explain my cramping. But I doubt I have had one that has gone undetected with all the cup peeing I've been doing for the last month. When I asked him about that, he told me I just have a "naughty uterus". Darn naughty uterus. The cramping causes so much pain and I really really would like to walk. He gave me some pills that stop cramping and then gave me antibiotics for the bladder infection and plus I have muscle relaxers that are supposed to help me sleep and then my prenatals. I feel like a pill popping fool. Two every morning and all 4 every night.
I asked him right before he left if it meant I can move again and he said yes. So, off bed rest! But it's taken a few days for the pills to work. Yesterday was the first day that I didn't cramp every time I moved. Which was very exciting. The menstrual cramps are very very dimmed and just about gone. The sharp really painful ones still hit, but are by no means as regular as before. I now just have all that PSD pain that is getting worse and worse as the little princesses behind get's bigger and bigger and nestles into my pelvis so gently.
My mom came Monday night and it's been wonderful. She and I got groceries, pedicures and all day yesterday cleaned out and sorted through my nursery. We washed all her 0 to 12 month clothes and got them put away. Jaren set up the crib last night and I'm in love. I think I'll do a whole post on the crib drama and the amazing deal I ended up getting. It is amazing to walk in there and see a clear floor and full closet and a crib and I'm very very excited about everything. I'm very glad she's continuing to cook - but I'm ready to have her here in a month. Yeah? Yeah. Sounds good to me.
I was really bummed that I wasn't able to go to Boise last weekend for a special family event for Jaren's side of the family. And was even more so when I found out I wasn't dilated and all I needed were some pills. All of that would have been taken care of if my doctor had been there when I went in on Thursday. But it didn't matter that we weren't able to make it, Jaren's family still spoiled us and sent gifts. Things that will save us a lot of money and we are going to put to very good use. We are very grateful.
All in all this is a crazy pregnancy. And didn't start to be one till I hit my third trimester. I'm hoping hoping that when I hear over and over that every pregnancy is different that this will be my worst. Even if it's not, I'll still do it again. I want to be a mommy to more than one baby. It is but a moment - an uncomfortable painful long moment, but does go away eventually. I am so glad this little girl is healthy and will stay in for a bit longer. My goal is to get her to at least 36 weeks. The last of the important developing is happening right now for the next 3 weeks. Brain and lung and digesting development. I really just want to be able to take her home - no NICU baby. But I will say, if I have this GD thing I'm terrified of a huge baby. But if I have to have a C section, I guess it doesn't matter. We will just have to see how things play out. I'm just glad they are waiting to play out :)
Also - I want to mention my mood. For the last few weeks it's like I've been in this dark tunnel. I've not been able to feel like myself or be myself. All of this crying and moping is NOT me. I know a lot of you have never met me in person, but I am such a happy person. I love to laugh and make people laugh and be happy and spunky. What other way is there to live? I love life and it's worth it to me to be an optimist and make an effort to enjoy it. But the last few weeks have been so hard. It's like I cannot be myself. I was sad, depressed, would cry all the time and I think it took it's toll on Jaren and definitely myself. I would just sit there and say "I want to be happy.... Why can't I be happy?" It was something I've not really experienced before. I can normally control my mood pretty well.... but it was no use with this. I felt stuck and just sad. But something happened at my Doctors appointment Monday. I left SO incredibly happy. Laughing and singing and I think the possibility of a preterm baby and all the pain was really weighing me down. And to have answers and a solution was amazing. The sad thing was I noticed a visible difference in my husband. He was smiling and laughing and very affectionate (which he always is), but this was different. A weight had been lifted off of his shoulders as well and I'm afraid the whole of it wasn't just the fear of a preterm baby, but it was his wife's emotional state. It is a horrible feeling when I think I caused him turmoil and made his life a bit less bright because I couldn't handle myself. I'm so glad I'm out of that funk that lasted way too long. I don't expect to be free and clear - since I still have the insane hormones running through me, but I hope that the depression has been lifted. It's been since Monday and I'm still rather happy, so I hope it's to stay. One of the reasons Jaren married me, in his words, is because I'm, "bubbly, effervescent, fun and happy" and cute. :) We are both looking forward to having all of that back after the pregnancy is over. Because I would regularly jump and wrestle him to the ground - then he'd use man strength (which is cheating) and overpower. We miss that. I can't hardly move - hah. I'm so glad it makes him laugh on a regular basis how huge I am and how ridiculous it is that I can't pick up something I've dropped if I'm sitting. How it's such a struggle to get off the couch or out of bed. Bless his heart for the sense of humor. And he tugs at my growing double chin/waddle and pinches the fat on my face and just smiles. I love him for acknowledging it and laughing and agreeing it's there. Because it's getting rather funny(and sad) at how I am moving further and further from what I used to look like. He is wonderful and makes all of this so much easier to bare. He helps and understands my restrictions. Okay... enough. I've been crying this whole paragraph. The whole point was to let everyone know - I'M (mostly) happy me again! Which is WONDERFUL.
Coming into this appointment I felt calm. I felt like I was going to get answers. Then I stepped on the scale. My last appointment was 4 days previous and I put on 3 pounds. I'm to the point where I just laugh about it... not because I'm genuinely entertained, but because I can't believe it. It's out of control. I'm eating really well and It's still piling on - HOW?! I stopped eating sweets since I was told I was borderline Gestational Diabetic. I asked the doc and he is running my blood again and I'm possibly seeing the nutritionist this coming Tuesday at my 34 week appointment. It's weird to be seeing a nutritionist since it's kind of what I went to school for - I've designed many a meal and exercise plan for overweight or diabetic or high blood pressured people. But, this just means I wont have to think, someone else will! I'm stumped because what do I do if I'm hungry??? It HURTS to be so hungry. I guess that's a sign of GD. I really hope I don't have it, but it would explain the massive water retention, out of control weight gain and why I get rather dizzy and sick if I need to eat. Blah.... So, for now I'm just eating very small amounts often of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, protein stuff and drinking LOTS of water. So far so good.
Doctor checked me for dilation - "cervix closed." is what he said. So that's good news! But, can I just say getting "checked" is rather uncomfortable. Not quite what I expected... not too excited to repeat it, but I think this is just the tip of the ice berg for what is in store in the next month and a half.
Baby is still vertically breech. Pretty sure she's dropped. But then she rises back out of my pelvis to nestle her big head under my ribs - such a sweetheart. It was sure weird, though. Waking up and seeing her head bump about 2 inches lower than normal. My lower abdomen was rather protrudy. We are worried she is much too comfortable and doesn't want to move. I'm to the point where I am expecting them trying to turn her and I'm coming to grips that a C section is just as likely as a vaginal birth for me. Not excited about it.... but I can say I wont ever let her forget that she was the first and set the trend. I'll probably even scare her with my scar regularly so she knows it. (all in a lovingly teasing motherly way - don't want to give my child a complex)
Last Thursday they checked for a bladder infection - came back negative. He checked again Monday and said I had lots of bacteria so the likleyhood of an infection is high. So in the 4 days I developed one. Yes, a bladder infection would explain my cramping. But I doubt I have had one that has gone undetected with all the cup peeing I've been doing for the last month. When I asked him about that, he told me I just have a "naughty uterus". Darn naughty uterus. The cramping causes so much pain and I really really would like to walk. He gave me some pills that stop cramping and then gave me antibiotics for the bladder infection and plus I have muscle relaxers that are supposed to help me sleep and then my prenatals. I feel like a pill popping fool. Two every morning and all 4 every night.
I asked him right before he left if it meant I can move again and he said yes. So, off bed rest! But it's taken a few days for the pills to work. Yesterday was the first day that I didn't cramp every time I moved. Which was very exciting. The menstrual cramps are very very dimmed and just about gone. The sharp really painful ones still hit, but are by no means as regular as before. I now just have all that PSD pain that is getting worse and worse as the little princesses behind get's bigger and bigger and nestles into my pelvis so gently.
My mom came Monday night and it's been wonderful. She and I got groceries, pedicures and all day yesterday cleaned out and sorted through my nursery. We washed all her 0 to 12 month clothes and got them put away. Jaren set up the crib last night and I'm in love. I think I'll do a whole post on the crib drama and the amazing deal I ended up getting. It is amazing to walk in there and see a clear floor and full closet and a crib and I'm very very excited about everything. I'm very glad she's continuing to cook - but I'm ready to have her here in a month. Yeah? Yeah. Sounds good to me.
I was really bummed that I wasn't able to go to Boise last weekend for a special family event for Jaren's side of the family. And was even more so when I found out I wasn't dilated and all I needed were some pills. All of that would have been taken care of if my doctor had been there when I went in on Thursday. But it didn't matter that we weren't able to make it, Jaren's family still spoiled us and sent gifts. Things that will save us a lot of money and we are going to put to very good use. We are very grateful.
All in all this is a crazy pregnancy. And didn't start to be one till I hit my third trimester. I'm hoping hoping that when I hear over and over that every pregnancy is different that this will be my worst. Even if it's not, I'll still do it again. I want to be a mommy to more than one baby. It is but a moment - an uncomfortable painful long moment, but does go away eventually. I am so glad this little girl is healthy and will stay in for a bit longer. My goal is to get her to at least 36 weeks. The last of the important developing is happening right now for the next 3 weeks. Brain and lung and digesting development. I really just want to be able to take her home - no NICU baby. But I will say, if I have this GD thing I'm terrified of a huge baby. But if I have to have a C section, I guess it doesn't matter. We will just have to see how things play out. I'm just glad they are waiting to play out :)
Also - I want to mention my mood. For the last few weeks it's like I've been in this dark tunnel. I've not been able to feel like myself or be myself. All of this crying and moping is NOT me. I know a lot of you have never met me in person, but I am such a happy person. I love to laugh and make people laugh and be happy and spunky. What other way is there to live? I love life and it's worth it to me to be an optimist and make an effort to enjoy it. But the last few weeks have been so hard. It's like I cannot be myself. I was sad, depressed, would cry all the time and I think it took it's toll on Jaren and definitely myself. I would just sit there and say "I want to be happy.... Why can't I be happy?" It was something I've not really experienced before. I can normally control my mood pretty well.... but it was no use with this. I felt stuck and just sad. But something happened at my Doctors appointment Monday. I left SO incredibly happy. Laughing and singing and I think the possibility of a preterm baby and all the pain was really weighing me down. And to have answers and a solution was amazing. The sad thing was I noticed a visible difference in my husband. He was smiling and laughing and very affectionate (which he always is), but this was different. A weight had been lifted off of his shoulders as well and I'm afraid the whole of it wasn't just the fear of a preterm baby, but it was his wife's emotional state. It is a horrible feeling when I think I caused him turmoil and made his life a bit less bright because I couldn't handle myself. I'm so glad I'm out of that funk that lasted way too long. I don't expect to be free and clear - since I still have the insane hormones running through me, but I hope that the depression has been lifted. It's been since Monday and I'm still rather happy, so I hope it's to stay. One of the reasons Jaren married me, in his words, is because I'm, "bubbly, effervescent, fun and happy" and cute. :) We are both looking forward to having all of that back after the pregnancy is over. Because I would regularly jump and wrestle him to the ground - then he'd use man strength (which is cheating) and overpower. We miss that. I can't hardly move - hah. I'm so glad it makes him laugh on a regular basis how huge I am and how ridiculous it is that I can't pick up something I've dropped if I'm sitting. How it's such a struggle to get off the couch or out of bed. Bless his heart for the sense of humor. And he tugs at my growing double chin/waddle and pinches the fat on my face and just smiles. I love him for acknowledging it and laughing and agreeing it's there. Because it's getting rather funny(and sad) at how I am moving further and further from what I used to look like. He is wonderful and makes all of this so much easier to bare. He helps and understands my restrictions. Okay... enough. I've been crying this whole paragraph. The whole point was to let everyone know - I'M (mostly) happy me again! Which is WONDERFUL.
33 Weeks
Jaren decided he liked to be creative and so he held the camera at an angle. Which made me laugh as I was trying to hide my waddle.
Jaren decided he liked to be creative and so he held the camera at an angle. Which made me laugh as I was trying to hide my waddle.
I was trying to hide the double chin to see if I'd look more like myself - my unpregnant self. 
Here is a "normal" picture - and I tried very hard to suck in. :)
Thank you for everyone's nice comments on my last post. Your comments are greatly appreciated. I know these posts are long, but I find it helps to get it all out and I know I'm going to be glad I was this detailed later on.
Thank you for everyone's nice comments on my last post. Your comments are greatly appreciated. I know these posts are long, but I find it helps to get it all out and I know I'm going to be glad I was this detailed later on.
Friday, September 11, 2009
32.4 Weeks: Better, But With Complications
8 Months:
Alright, I've been so go go go that I haven't had a chance to just sit down and write my 32 week post. And this time I'm going to get it all in one and not try to write like the last 4 days haven't happened. Because they were quite eventful.
First, I had two huge all day shopping trips last week to get me stocked up. I got baby gifts for friends, two of everything: downy, laundry detergent, dish detergent, TP, Paper Towels, massive huge boxes of diapers and wipes (thank you Sams - even though I wish you were a Costco), lots and lots of peanut butter b/c Jaren eats that by the massive spoonful daily. It was very hard to do, because the second I started even in the first store I was hurting. I've never walked so slow in my life. I leaned on the carts and just slowly made my way through each store. I wanted to go home, but I wanted the stuff done more - if I didn't do it right then it would drive me crazy and it wouldn't have gotten done till after the kid was born. Which isn't what I wanted/needed. I cleaned and organized my huge messy closet. I found thank you's for our wedding that hadn't been sent out! Is 2 1/2 years too long for those?? I feel so bad. I hope they didn't notice....
After a while, I was gone so much that the house was getting messy and messy and I didn't have the time to clean it. I was feeling very overwhelmed one day and was, of course, crying and trying to explain it to Jaren, "I feel like I'm in a small room with wall to wall cabinets and each drawer is open with papers everywhere that need filed and put away. I don't know where to start." He got right up, picked up the front room, grabbed the vaccuum and vacuumed and then did the dishes and told me, "There's one less drawer for you to worry about" Of course I have the emotional capacity of a 3 year old and so I cried. I'm so grateful for him. Have I ever mentioned that I love him? Cause I do, quite a bit. I'll keep him.
Why it was better: besides getting things done, Jaren finally let me order my crib bedding which I have had picked out since I was 18 weeks. There are quite a few other things that got done. I found my dream crib, only for it to only be available online. The closest place I could get it was Boise end of October and if you do the math, that wont quite work considering I should be about having her or have already had her.. which is likely to happen considering recent events. While I was shopping I went to Down East home and found a crib I also loved, for 200 dollars less than it's original price, which put it at the same price as my dream online crib. But I had to pay for it in order to make sure I got it ASAP. Jaren is against online shopping now since his credit card number was stolen. So, the pull for the second crib was rather high - not to mention it would be here in 2 weeks. And I want my nursery set up very badly! I was stressing quite a bit over this and then I went to Babies R Us (online, since the closest is Boise) to look at changing tables (b/c my nursery is too small for a regular dresser - a stress in and of itself). When on the homepage was this crib that looked almost identical to my dream one, just a little bit more simple. I ended up buying that and got 30% off and so ended up paying 200 bucks less than the dream one. And Jaren is picking it up today! I'm so excited. My bedding came last night - it's even more beautiful in person and it has made me so extremely happy. Especially since I've been in a bit of a state of worry.
Complications: I went to the doctor last Friday, a week ago. I finally had questions and concerns. Everytime I've ever gone in I've known exactly what was going on myself and didn't need to ask questions. Or I was doing just fine. I wish I had control of my emotions. I started in on the pain and started to cry. And I am SO SO grateful for such a wonderful doctor. I really didn't want to hear what everyone else has been telling me. "Your pregnant" "your in your third trimester" "it will all be worth it(OF COURSE)" "It will all be over soon(yeah, but that doesn't help me now, does it?!)" I just don't like it when people try to brush my concerns and worries aside. So, I don't like to talk about it with many people. But he just looked at me with concern and worry and said, "I wish I could take all the pain away, I'm sorry" I was already crying. Then he asked me more questions and when I told him about the PSD and not being able to sleep he prescribed me a muscle relaxer. Holy cow it knocks me out. B/c the PSD is ligaments and not muscle it still hurts when I move, but I can now sleep! When I told him about all of the cramping he was concerned, but since none of the other signs of pre term labor are there he just told me to take it easy. I asked if all of the contracting would cause dilation and he said yes, but they can't check me now becuase I'm not far along enough yet. Checking can cause dilation and labor so they want to wait as long as they can. He said we just need to get me to 36 weeks and then whatever happens, happens.
We talked about my Breech baby. I had been sleeping on my left side (she is shoved up against my right side and wont go beyond the center of my belly to my left - it's an empty cavern over there!) for a month and she still wont budge. Oh, she'll move further over to my right side, it's so weird, I'll feel her head at my waist. But she's mostly nestled uncomfortably up into my ribs with her head - completely verticle. I asked if her umbilicle cord is 3 inches long (joking) or if she has an abnormal attatchment. He said I might have an abnormal shaped uterus. Which kind of made me laugh. Since I was able to get pregnant I'm not worried about that. He tried to push her over and she wouldn't budge. So, since she has been in the same spot my entire pregnancy and doesn't seem to have any desire to explore any other part of her home we are a bit concerned. He said he's worried she's settled her bum into my pelvis and is too comfortable. So, I'm still on schedule for them to try to turn her if she doesn't flip. And if they can't turn her - a C section. Still not at all what I want, but I am not as scared since finding out they don't slice through my stomach muscles (my rectus abdominus, to be exact). So, we'll see.... I just have daily talks with her and pray constantly that she will flip on her own.
I also found out I am boarderline Gestational Diabetic. "Did they call you about your sugar results?" me: "no?" doc: "They didn't?! Your boarderline, you need to lay off the sweets and drink lots of water." That would have been nice to know A MONTH AGO!!! I've eaten a lot of junk in the last 2 weeks with the traveling and baby shower food. I'm annoyed they didn't call me. I assumed since they didn't call I was fine. Teaches me to never assume. So I'm laying off the sweets and am eating a lot more fruits and veggie's and I already drink TONS of water. Oh, good thing? It explains some of my out of control weight gain. So glad to know it's not all my fault. Because I've just barely tipped over the "healthy" spectrum for my BMI class. I've long ago gone over the healthy limit I had set for myself.
Brings me to what happened yesterday: Might be TMI for some, but I'm assuming most have gone through this being mommies or aren't phased b/c they are women. Here goes. Woke up at 2 a.m. and felt a trickle of watery discharge. Woke me right up and I went and checked, no blood, so I laid back down and sat there waiting to feel more or to start cramping. I was up for 40-60 minutes having all the horrors run through my mind of having a preemie 32 week old baby. I didn't start to cramp and I eventually fell back asleep. I woke up and felt the wateryishness again. Again, no blood, and I couldn't tell what it was. Although, I was sure it wasn't pee. I take pride in the fact that the last time I peed myself was in 1st grade. It was feeling it again when I woke up that started to worry me. I went online and looked up "watery discharge in late pregnancy" and up came this thing where a doctor was telling someone that they can do a paper strip test and see if it's amniotic fluid or not. I decided this was a time to call the doctor because, "what if" was too big this time. Only problem? My doctor decided to go on vacation this week - he is ALWAYS there - except this week! So I went to their nurse practitioner. She walked in with the heart beat thinger and I told her I wasn't there for a check up. So she listened as I explained. She had me lay down and she checked her heart beat and asked about why she is a big lump on just my right side. "Because she's stubborn." She told me she thought maybe I had a bladder infection because those cause all sorts of cramps. I was pretty sure I didn't have one - never have in my life, but I peed in the cup anyway. Meanwhile she did the paper strip test and thank heavens it came out negative for both pee and amniotic fluid. My pee test also came out negative. So, all these cramps are coming on their own and the watery discharge is just weird. She said if the cramping persists and worsens and if the leakyness continues to come in next week and they might check me for dilation so that if they need to they can stop it and put me on steroids. She told me I am on bedrest or, as she put it, "we're going to put you down." I felt like a dog being brought to the gas chamber. Or, at least what a dog who knew what was going on would feel like. Minimal walking, sit, pick up a hobby she say's, read a book, knit a sweater.
So, here I am sitting. I'll probably have time now to catch up on blogs. I'm sewing onsies and I made my daughter a beautiful dress with the instruction and help of my aunt. I'm so proud of myself. I'll take pictures and post them either today or tomorrow. I'm working on thank you's for baby gifts and watching DVR'd TV. Or my Buffy episodes. I'm on season 4! Did I mention I bought a sewing machine with my birthday money? Very excited. And if it weren't for my aunt I'd be sitting trying to decipher the instruction manual. Thank you, Aunt Lori.
I really want to do laundry. Only problem is it's up and down stairs. I think I might, though. I only have like 2 loads and I'm hardly on my feet for long. Only problem is as I'm sitting here, I'm cramping. Used to be that I could sit down and not have any pain. Not anymore, that changed a few days ago. And as of yesterday I've been having back cramps. Feels like I'm on my period again. I just wish I knew what was going on with my body. I wish I knew if I was dilating, if I am in a very long course of labor, or if my uterus just hurts and there's nothing else going on other than that. I also just wish I had a normal pregnancy. I just take comfort in the fact that I hear every pregnancy is different. So, hopefully the next will be a bit easier.
Super long. I know. But there's all sorts of crazy happening now. I'm going to see if I can make it to next tuesday for my 34 week appointment. If not, I'll be going in this next week. My mom is coming and helping with everything. I'm so glad. She will keep me company and take care of me. I don't like watching people do my housework. I don't mind doing it with them, but just sitting doing nothing drives me crazy. So we'll see how we do. I'll have pictures of my nursery! It should all be set up.
I'm mostly sad that this weekend I can't go on a mini vaycay for a night. Jaren and I were going to get the rest of the baby stuff we needed and now he doesn't want me to go for fear we will be hours away from home if something happens. I tried to explain that there is no difference sitting in a car and sitting on a couch. I understand, though. Even though I'm rather bummed. It was going to be my last little trip before parking it for good till she came. I have lots of time to sit and wallow about it all, that's for sure.
Despite how scared I get at times when the cramping get's bad I'm feeling calm about everything. I know everything will be fine with both her and I. I just don't know how. I don't know if she's coming early, or how early, or how she will come (C section or vaginal birth). But I know that either way we will be okay and she will be healthy. She is still moving a lot, which is comforting. I only hope I can make it to at least 36 weeks.
I'll post a picture with the pictures of dresses and stuff I've been working on. This post is without. It's just a long wordy post.
Alright, I've been so go go go that I haven't had a chance to just sit down and write my 32 week post. And this time I'm going to get it all in one and not try to write like the last 4 days haven't happened. Because they were quite eventful.
First, I had two huge all day shopping trips last week to get me stocked up. I got baby gifts for friends, two of everything: downy, laundry detergent, dish detergent, TP, Paper Towels, massive huge boxes of diapers and wipes (thank you Sams - even though I wish you were a Costco), lots and lots of peanut butter b/c Jaren eats that by the massive spoonful daily. It was very hard to do, because the second I started even in the first store I was hurting. I've never walked so slow in my life. I leaned on the carts and just slowly made my way through each store. I wanted to go home, but I wanted the stuff done more - if I didn't do it right then it would drive me crazy and it wouldn't have gotten done till after the kid was born. Which isn't what I wanted/needed. I cleaned and organized my huge messy closet. I found thank you's for our wedding that hadn't been sent out! Is 2 1/2 years too long for those?? I feel so bad. I hope they didn't notice....
After a while, I was gone so much that the house was getting messy and messy and I didn't have the time to clean it. I was feeling very overwhelmed one day and was, of course, crying and trying to explain it to Jaren, "I feel like I'm in a small room with wall to wall cabinets and each drawer is open with papers everywhere that need filed and put away. I don't know where to start." He got right up, picked up the front room, grabbed the vaccuum and vacuumed and then did the dishes and told me, "There's one less drawer for you to worry about" Of course I have the emotional capacity of a 3 year old and so I cried. I'm so grateful for him. Have I ever mentioned that I love him? Cause I do, quite a bit. I'll keep him.
Why it was better: besides getting things done, Jaren finally let me order my crib bedding which I have had picked out since I was 18 weeks. There are quite a few other things that got done. I found my dream crib, only for it to only be available online. The closest place I could get it was Boise end of October and if you do the math, that wont quite work considering I should be about having her or have already had her.. which is likely to happen considering recent events. While I was shopping I went to Down East home and found a crib I also loved, for 200 dollars less than it's original price, which put it at the same price as my dream online crib. But I had to pay for it in order to make sure I got it ASAP. Jaren is against online shopping now since his credit card number was stolen. So, the pull for the second crib was rather high - not to mention it would be here in 2 weeks. And I want my nursery set up very badly! I was stressing quite a bit over this and then I went to Babies R Us (online, since the closest is Boise) to look at changing tables (b/c my nursery is too small for a regular dresser - a stress in and of itself). When on the homepage was this crib that looked almost identical to my dream one, just a little bit more simple. I ended up buying that and got 30% off and so ended up paying 200 bucks less than the dream one. And Jaren is picking it up today! I'm so excited. My bedding came last night - it's even more beautiful in person and it has made me so extremely happy. Especially since I've been in a bit of a state of worry.
Complications: I went to the doctor last Friday, a week ago. I finally had questions and concerns. Everytime I've ever gone in I've known exactly what was going on myself and didn't need to ask questions. Or I was doing just fine. I wish I had control of my emotions. I started in on the pain and started to cry. And I am SO SO grateful for such a wonderful doctor. I really didn't want to hear what everyone else has been telling me. "Your pregnant" "your in your third trimester" "it will all be worth it(OF COURSE)" "It will all be over soon(yeah, but that doesn't help me now, does it?!)" I just don't like it when people try to brush my concerns and worries aside. So, I don't like to talk about it with many people. But he just looked at me with concern and worry and said, "I wish I could take all the pain away, I'm sorry" I was already crying. Then he asked me more questions and when I told him about the PSD and not being able to sleep he prescribed me a muscle relaxer. Holy cow it knocks me out. B/c the PSD is ligaments and not muscle it still hurts when I move, but I can now sleep! When I told him about all of the cramping he was concerned, but since none of the other signs of pre term labor are there he just told me to take it easy. I asked if all of the contracting would cause dilation and he said yes, but they can't check me now becuase I'm not far along enough yet. Checking can cause dilation and labor so they want to wait as long as they can. He said we just need to get me to 36 weeks and then whatever happens, happens.
We talked about my Breech baby. I had been sleeping on my left side (she is shoved up against my right side and wont go beyond the center of my belly to my left - it's an empty cavern over there!) for a month and she still wont budge. Oh, she'll move further over to my right side, it's so weird, I'll feel her head at my waist. But she's mostly nestled uncomfortably up into my ribs with her head - completely verticle. I asked if her umbilicle cord is 3 inches long (joking) or if she has an abnormal attatchment. He said I might have an abnormal shaped uterus. Which kind of made me laugh. Since I was able to get pregnant I'm not worried about that. He tried to push her over and she wouldn't budge. So, since she has been in the same spot my entire pregnancy and doesn't seem to have any desire to explore any other part of her home we are a bit concerned. He said he's worried she's settled her bum into my pelvis and is too comfortable. So, I'm still on schedule for them to try to turn her if she doesn't flip. And if they can't turn her - a C section. Still not at all what I want, but I am not as scared since finding out they don't slice through my stomach muscles (my rectus abdominus, to be exact). So, we'll see.... I just have daily talks with her and pray constantly that she will flip on her own.
I also found out I am boarderline Gestational Diabetic. "Did they call you about your sugar results?" me: "no?" doc: "They didn't?! Your boarderline, you need to lay off the sweets and drink lots of water." That would have been nice to know A MONTH AGO!!! I've eaten a lot of junk in the last 2 weeks with the traveling and baby shower food. I'm annoyed they didn't call me. I assumed since they didn't call I was fine. Teaches me to never assume. So I'm laying off the sweets and am eating a lot more fruits and veggie's and I already drink TONS of water. Oh, good thing? It explains some of my out of control weight gain. So glad to know it's not all my fault. Because I've just barely tipped over the "healthy" spectrum for my BMI class. I've long ago gone over the healthy limit I had set for myself.
Brings me to what happened yesterday: Might be TMI for some, but I'm assuming most have gone through this being mommies or aren't phased b/c they are women. Here goes. Woke up at 2 a.m. and felt a trickle of watery discharge. Woke me right up and I went and checked, no blood, so I laid back down and sat there waiting to feel more or to start cramping. I was up for 40-60 minutes having all the horrors run through my mind of having a preemie 32 week old baby. I didn't start to cramp and I eventually fell back asleep. I woke up and felt the wateryishness again. Again, no blood, and I couldn't tell what it was. Although, I was sure it wasn't pee. I take pride in the fact that the last time I peed myself was in 1st grade. It was feeling it again when I woke up that started to worry me. I went online and looked up "watery discharge in late pregnancy" and up came this thing where a doctor was telling someone that they can do a paper strip test and see if it's amniotic fluid or not. I decided this was a time to call the doctor because, "what if" was too big this time. Only problem? My doctor decided to go on vacation this week - he is ALWAYS there - except this week! So I went to their nurse practitioner. She walked in with the heart beat thinger and I told her I wasn't there for a check up. So she listened as I explained. She had me lay down and she checked her heart beat and asked about why she is a big lump on just my right side. "Because she's stubborn." She told me she thought maybe I had a bladder infection because those cause all sorts of cramps. I was pretty sure I didn't have one - never have in my life, but I peed in the cup anyway. Meanwhile she did the paper strip test and thank heavens it came out negative for both pee and amniotic fluid. My pee test also came out negative. So, all these cramps are coming on their own and the watery discharge is just weird. She said if the cramping persists and worsens and if the leakyness continues to come in next week and they might check me for dilation so that if they need to they can stop it and put me on steroids. She told me I am on bedrest or, as she put it, "we're going to put you down." I felt like a dog being brought to the gas chamber. Or, at least what a dog who knew what was going on would feel like. Minimal walking, sit, pick up a hobby she say's, read a book, knit a sweater.
So, here I am sitting. I'll probably have time now to catch up on blogs. I'm sewing onsies and I made my daughter a beautiful dress with the instruction and help of my aunt. I'm so proud of myself. I'll take pictures and post them either today or tomorrow. I'm working on thank you's for baby gifts and watching DVR'd TV. Or my Buffy episodes. I'm on season 4! Did I mention I bought a sewing machine with my birthday money? Very excited. And if it weren't for my aunt I'd be sitting trying to decipher the instruction manual. Thank you, Aunt Lori.
I really want to do laundry. Only problem is it's up and down stairs. I think I might, though. I only have like 2 loads and I'm hardly on my feet for long. Only problem is as I'm sitting here, I'm cramping. Used to be that I could sit down and not have any pain. Not anymore, that changed a few days ago. And as of yesterday I've been having back cramps. Feels like I'm on my period again. I just wish I knew what was going on with my body. I wish I knew if I was dilating, if I am in a very long course of labor, or if my uterus just hurts and there's nothing else going on other than that. I also just wish I had a normal pregnancy. I just take comfort in the fact that I hear every pregnancy is different. So, hopefully the next will be a bit easier.
Super long. I know. But there's all sorts of crazy happening now. I'm going to see if I can make it to next tuesday for my 34 week appointment. If not, I'll be going in this next week. My mom is coming and helping with everything. I'm so glad. She will keep me company and take care of me. I don't like watching people do my housework. I don't mind doing it with them, but just sitting doing nothing drives me crazy. So we'll see how we do. I'll have pictures of my nursery! It should all be set up.
I'm mostly sad that this weekend I can't go on a mini vaycay for a night. Jaren and I were going to get the rest of the baby stuff we needed and now he doesn't want me to go for fear we will be hours away from home if something happens. I tried to explain that there is no difference sitting in a car and sitting on a couch. I understand, though. Even though I'm rather bummed. It was going to be my last little trip before parking it for good till she came. I have lots of time to sit and wallow about it all, that's for sure.
Despite how scared I get at times when the cramping get's bad I'm feeling calm about everything. I know everything will be fine with both her and I. I just don't know how. I don't know if she's coming early, or how early, or how she will come (C section or vaginal birth). But I know that either way we will be okay and she will be healthy. She is still moving a lot, which is comforting. I only hope I can make it to at least 36 weeks.
I'll post a picture with the pictures of dresses and stuff I've been working on. This post is without. It's just a long wordy post.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
31 Weeks: Downs and Downs and some Ups
I waited too long for this post. It's 5:00 a.m. on Saturday morning and I cannot sleep. I've laid in bed for an hour feeling nauseous, hot and completely awake. I'm going to try to write this as if it's last Tuesday.
The last week has been full of stress, emotions and lots of cramping.
I officially cannot walk anymore. It causes too much pain and I cramp the entire time and the longer I go, the worse I cramp. Not to mention that the rest of the day every time I move, stand, try to bend over or take a step I have horrible PSD pain. It's the worst when I'm sleeping - I cannot move - at all. I feel like when I try to explain how it feels all I'm doing is wining and
being a pansy. The pain is very real and I know not very normal for pregnancy. I handle pain pretty well and this is getting hard. It get's worse every day and now it doesn't matter what I've been doing that day; every time I stand it shoots pain, every time I take a step - pain. There isn't anything I can do and it's very disheartening. I take Tylenol, but not always because I really really don't want to be popping pills all day long - even if it is just Tylenol. And the thought of how much longer I have to deal with this brings me to tears. Don't get me wrong, I am still happy I'm pregnant, still so excited about this baby and never one second do I ever regret getting pregnant. I just thought my body would handle it better and now the one thing I felt like I could control and made me feel better about everything and put me in a good mood through the day - I can't do. I can't exercise and it's wearing on me. I'm really trying very hard to focus on everything good and be both inward and outwardly happy. Even when I'm in tears I'm still content with where my life is. I just hope that this isn't how every pregnancy will go, because I'm not sure how well I can chase a toddler around with all of the pain.
I cramp every time I stand. Cramp when I walk more than a few yards. I now have to walk at a snails pace everywhere I go or I'm in pain. Jaren keeps trying to get me to call the doctor every time, but I know it's all Braxton Hicks no matter how painful. It's all irregular, I'll sit down and it will go away, it's only in front and my girl is still squirmy and moves A LOT. So, the signs of pre-term labor aren't there. And I really don't want to call with a question then have to come in. (Jumping forward to 5:30 a.m. today I had a doc appointment yesterday and talked to him about it and if things get worse and more intense, then I go in) So, despite the pain and uncomfortableness everything is ok for now.
Enough about the pain, onto the emotions. OUT. OF. CONTROL. Seriously. I think the stress of my shower; both Celeste (Jaren's best friends wife who threw my shower) and I put in A LOT of work. I worried that no one would show and those who were most important showed. But some did not. I didn't realize it would effect me so much. I took it personally and struggled with trying to move on. The next day during church I started to have menstrual like cramps that I haven't felt this pregnancy at all. It was constant and uncomfortable and lasted 10-15 minutes. I started to cry and when Jaren asked what was wrong I started to lose it. I was so embarrassed, I felt like everyone could see me fighting sobs - and quite a few did. I made it through a beautiful strings solo and then grabbed the keys, booked it for the door and barely made it out the first set of doors outside before starting the hyperventilating sobs. I don't remember crying like that since I first found out I wasn't pregnant in January. It got worse when I got in the car. And I couldn't stop it! Not at all. I tried because I felt like I shouldn't be crying like that. Jaren came out and we both laughed - me through sobs and tears and him through concern at how ridiculous it was that I couldn't hold it together even a little. I tried to get it under control, but every few minutes I'd start sobbing again. So, he took me home and laid me down for a nap and just stayed and talked to me. Made me laugh and calmed me down. I am forever so grateful to him for how he handles my stress.
My shower turned out great, it was beautiful and I had way too much candy, cupcakes and mini sandwiches left over. We played some fun games that I enjoyed a lot and I got a lot of great gifts. Lots of clothes. People were very generous and thoughtful. I went home and pulled everything out again and just looked and handled, imagining her in all her clothes. I am very grateful. When Lindsey wasn't taking pictures of the very cute babies she got some of me - I might post some.
I made a list of everything I still needed and felt very overwhelmed. I think that added to my emotional issues. Baby bills just keep adding up. I've yet to find someone that has spent/will spend as much on a birth with insurance as we will/are. So, those thousands and thousands combined with everything baby we have to buy has worn on me more than it has Jaren. Which is surprising. But for some reason I feel responsible :) Even though I know I'm not. Not to mention my house. I feel like I have so much to do! Cleaning, organizing, getting ready, stocking up and even though I know I have lots of time I don't know where to start. So, the next week (currently in) will mark quite a bit of getting started.
All in all this last week has been very overwhelming emotionally and physically. I'm hoping that was my low and so it will steadily get better - emotionally at least. And so far - today being Saturday - it has.
I debated writing this post so gloomy but I want to keep this up and even though it wasn't a wonderful week it was my 30th week of pregnancy and it needs to be recorded. Pregnancy is full of up's and down's and this just happened to be a down week. I have full confidence that when my little girl reads this someday she wont take it personally. How could she? This has nothing to do with her personally, just the way my body and emotions are handling pregnancy. And I hope she reads this and when she goes through the exact same thing she knows she is not alone and her mommy went through it as well. It's normal and I can empathize and relate. I would have loved something like this from my mom. Even all the negatives. Because it's her and part of her life and she went through it for me - I would feel very special and loved (I already do, Mom, without the journal :)
Speaking of this little/big 3 pound squirmer I've never felt so in love. I have just been watching my belly every night for hours and she has been moving so much. I see her legs and feet moving and now she turns her head side to side and that is a lot of fun to watch as well. She is still Breech and is getting bigger so her head is even bigger under my ribs and she will push herself up (I think to give her legs more room to kick) into my ribs. It really hurts and I have to lean back and to my left side to give her and myself some room. It's so weird, my left side doesn't bother me a bit. But because she is still shoved as far over on my right side as possible and is completely verticle; those ligaments and that side of my rib cage are getting the brunt of the effects. I'm starting to wonder if she has a 4 inch umbilicle cord. But I love her and spend my time wondering what she will look like, be like, how she will come, when she will come and what type of baby she'll be. I just sit and stare at her clothes and the things she does have and I am so excited. Jaren and I talk about it and we are very ready to start our family - she is very very wanted. He makes me so happy with how often he tells me he thought about what he will say when she's 16 or when she brings home a boy or when she cries about wanting something. He usually says he's going to give her whatever she wants, "just like her mother" (can you see my eyes rolling??:) I couldn't be happier with how he is showing me he is excited and how when I even start to move to stand he comes over and helps. How he is constantly worrying and making sure I'm fine. How even though he is incredibly busy he still will let me vent and cry and talk his ear off about things like a crib and our nursery and things we need. He has a lot of stress from work and is exhausted when he comes home and lets me exhaust him further with my petty worries. Because they aren't petty to me he makes such a great effort. I know those things don't matter to him, they are more the mommies worries, but he lets me make him a part of it. I love him and every day, every second my right-for-me choice in a spouse is confirmed. He's perfect for me and I am so excited to give him his little girl.
Ending on a good tearful note! These pregnancy hormones are seriously insane.
31 Weeks:
I thought one cake mix box would make 2 dozen mini cupcakes and oh, how how wrong I was. They make 4 dozen. I made 2 boxes and had eight dozen and it was so many!! So I thought it appropriate to take this picture with one. Even though it's hilarious to see a picture of a pregnant lady who has packed on the pounds posing with a cupcake. Anyone else think it's funny? :)
Baby Shower:
An amazing quilt my Sister in Law, Brittney made me - it's beautiful.
The last week has been full of stress, emotions and lots of cramping.
I officially cannot walk anymore. It causes too much pain and I cramp the entire time and the longer I go, the worse I cramp. Not to mention that the rest of the day every time I move, stand, try to bend over or take a step I have horrible PSD pain. It's the worst when I'm sleeping - I cannot move - at all. I feel like when I try to explain how it feels all I'm doing is wining and
being a pansy. The pain is very real and I know not very normal for pregnancy. I handle pain pretty well and this is getting hard. It get's worse every day and now it doesn't matter what I've been doing that day; every time I stand it shoots pain, every time I take a step - pain. There isn't anything I can do and it's very disheartening. I take Tylenol, but not always because I really really don't want to be popping pills all day long - even if it is just Tylenol. And the thought of how much longer I have to deal with this brings me to tears. Don't get me wrong, I am still happy I'm pregnant, still so excited about this baby and never one second do I ever regret getting pregnant. I just thought my body would handle it better and now the one thing I felt like I could control and made me feel better about everything and put me in a good mood through the day - I can't do. I can't exercise and it's wearing on me. I'm really trying very hard to focus on everything good and be both inward and outwardly happy. Even when I'm in tears I'm still content with where my life is. I just hope that this isn't how every pregnancy will go, because I'm not sure how well I can chase a toddler around with all of the pain.
I cramp every time I stand. Cramp when I walk more than a few yards. I now have to walk at a snails pace everywhere I go or I'm in pain. Jaren keeps trying to get me to call the doctor every time, but I know it's all Braxton Hicks no matter how painful. It's all irregular, I'll sit down and it will go away, it's only in front and my girl is still squirmy and moves A LOT. So, the signs of pre-term labor aren't there. And I really don't want to call with a question then have to come in. (Jumping forward to 5:30 a.m. today I had a doc appointment yesterday and talked to him about it and if things get worse and more intense, then I go in) So, despite the pain and uncomfortableness everything is ok for now.
Enough about the pain, onto the emotions. OUT. OF. CONTROL. Seriously. I think the stress of my shower; both Celeste (Jaren's best friends wife who threw my shower) and I put in A LOT of work. I worried that no one would show and those who were most important showed. But some did not. I didn't realize it would effect me so much. I took it personally and struggled with trying to move on. The next day during church I started to have menstrual like cramps that I haven't felt this pregnancy at all. It was constant and uncomfortable and lasted 10-15 minutes. I started to cry and when Jaren asked what was wrong I started to lose it. I was so embarrassed, I felt like everyone could see me fighting sobs - and quite a few did. I made it through a beautiful strings solo and then grabbed the keys, booked it for the door and barely made it out the first set of doors outside before starting the hyperventilating sobs. I don't remember crying like that since I first found out I wasn't pregnant in January. It got worse when I got in the car. And I couldn't stop it! Not at all. I tried because I felt like I shouldn't be crying like that. Jaren came out and we both laughed - me through sobs and tears and him through concern at how ridiculous it was that I couldn't hold it together even a little. I tried to get it under control, but every few minutes I'd start sobbing again. So, he took me home and laid me down for a nap and just stayed and talked to me. Made me laugh and calmed me down. I am forever so grateful to him for how he handles my stress.
My shower turned out great, it was beautiful and I had way too much candy, cupcakes and mini sandwiches left over. We played some fun games that I enjoyed a lot and I got a lot of great gifts. Lots of clothes. People were very generous and thoughtful. I went home and pulled everything out again and just looked and handled, imagining her in all her clothes. I am very grateful. When Lindsey wasn't taking pictures of the very cute babies she got some of me - I might post some.
I made a list of everything I still needed and felt very overwhelmed. I think that added to my emotional issues. Baby bills just keep adding up. I've yet to find someone that has spent/will spend as much on a birth with insurance as we will/are. So, those thousands and thousands combined with everything baby we have to buy has worn on me more than it has Jaren. Which is surprising. But for some reason I feel responsible :) Even though I know I'm not. Not to mention my house. I feel like I have so much to do! Cleaning, organizing, getting ready, stocking up and even though I know I have lots of time I don't know where to start. So, the next week (currently in) will mark quite a bit of getting started.
All in all this last week has been very overwhelming emotionally and physically. I'm hoping that was my low and so it will steadily get better - emotionally at least. And so far - today being Saturday - it has.
I debated writing this post so gloomy but I want to keep this up and even though it wasn't a wonderful week it was my 30th week of pregnancy and it needs to be recorded. Pregnancy is full of up's and down's and this just happened to be a down week. I have full confidence that when my little girl reads this someday she wont take it personally. How could she? This has nothing to do with her personally, just the way my body and emotions are handling pregnancy. And I hope she reads this and when she goes through the exact same thing she knows she is not alone and her mommy went through it as well. It's normal and I can empathize and relate. I would have loved something like this from my mom. Even all the negatives. Because it's her and part of her life and she went through it for me - I would feel very special and loved (I already do, Mom, without the journal :)
Speaking of this little/big 3 pound squirmer I've never felt so in love. I have just been watching my belly every night for hours and she has been moving so much. I see her legs and feet moving and now she turns her head side to side and that is a lot of fun to watch as well. She is still Breech and is getting bigger so her head is even bigger under my ribs and she will push herself up (I think to give her legs more room to kick) into my ribs. It really hurts and I have to lean back and to my left side to give her and myself some room. It's so weird, my left side doesn't bother me a bit. But because she is still shoved as far over on my right side as possible and is completely verticle; those ligaments and that side of my rib cage are getting the brunt of the effects. I'm starting to wonder if she has a 4 inch umbilicle cord. But I love her and spend my time wondering what she will look like, be like, how she will come, when she will come and what type of baby she'll be. I just sit and stare at her clothes and the things she does have and I am so excited. Jaren and I talk about it and we are very ready to start our family - she is very very wanted. He makes me so happy with how often he tells me he thought about what he will say when she's 16 or when she brings home a boy or when she cries about wanting something. He usually says he's going to give her whatever she wants, "just like her mother" (can you see my eyes rolling??:) I couldn't be happier with how he is showing me he is excited and how when I even start to move to stand he comes over and helps. How he is constantly worrying and making sure I'm fine. How even though he is incredibly busy he still will let me vent and cry and talk his ear off about things like a crib and our nursery and things we need. He has a lot of stress from work and is exhausted when he comes home and lets me exhaust him further with my petty worries. Because they aren't petty to me he makes such a great effort. I know those things don't matter to him, they are more the mommies worries, but he lets me make him a part of it. I love him and every day, every second my right-for-me choice in a spouse is confirmed. He's perfect for me and I am so excited to give him his little girl.
Ending on a good tearful note! These pregnancy hormones are seriously insane.
31 Weeks:
I thought one cake mix box would make 2 dozen mini cupcakes and oh, how how wrong I was. They make 4 dozen. I made 2 boxes and had eight dozen and it was so many!! So I thought it appropriate to take this picture with one. Even though it's hilarious to see a picture of a pregnant lady who has packed on the pounds posing with a cupcake. Anyone else think it's funny? :)
Baby Shower:Tasty food - we have had mini sandwiches for days and they are so yummy!
Happy mommies (who have lost all their baby weight and look amazing, so they give me hope)
Jessica with her super cute 3 1/2 month old. I got her that onsie :D
Jessica with her super cute 3 1/2 month old. I got her that onsie :D
Lindsey being the good present fairy
A super cute hooded towel from my Mother in Law (she spoiled me). This is as good of a picture as we're gonna get of myself.
And, of course, the cute babies.
This is Kenzie, my Sister in Law's Sister's baby. (follow?)
We all know this handsome stud. My nephew, Conner.
I would have posted more pictures of everyone who was there, but Lindsey seemed to catch most people at the wrong moment. Thank me later.
A few more things:
I would have posted more pictures of everyone who was there, but Lindsey seemed to catch most people at the wrong moment. Thank me later.
- I now go get 12 dollar spa pedicures at a beauty school. The last time I painted my own nails was the end of July.
- I also am now showering in our extra bathroom because it's a tub shower, ours in our bedroom bathroom is a standing and I can't bend over in it. It's so sad it's funny.
- Also can't put socks and shoes on. It's pathetic. Thank heavens for flip flop weather.
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