It's official. This pregnancy is continuing to be worse than the first. I am so excited for the baby. To have another child. I have been feeling stronger, bigger movements and feel kicks all throughout the day. That is the light in all this. All I think about is this kid. What's best for her/him. So... I continue to force food in my mouth ever hour or so. I fight the nausea; not as often as with the first 15 weeks, but it still comes a few times a day. Some days are better than others, some not so much. I have good energy days where the low blood sugar thing doesn't seem to be so bad and then I have days where it's all I can do to make it off the couch to the bathroom or to the kitchen to make something to eat. Unfortunately, it's a rare thing to find food that tastes good. My fall back snack that I had been eating every day; saltine cracker, cheese slice and pickle slice that had tasted so yummy isn't so yummy anymore. I have no idea what happened. Sunday I made it, took a bite and didn't like it. I forced it all down, but I haven't had it again since. I had some boneless honey BBQ wings from Applebees the other day and it was the best tasting thing I've had all pregnancy. Except for maybe the fajita's from Hard Rock in Florida.
Cramping. It's getting worse and coming more often. It seemed to mostly come at nights and not last for too long. Well, now it's almost all day and is really painful. The only good thing I think is that I should hopefully be done with so much cramping with my pregnancies since now both sides will have been used and stretched. That's my hope, anyway.
PSD. It has begun. I noticed a week ago while taking off my pajama bottoms that it felt a bit uncomfortable standing on one leg. Well, every day since I notice it doing different things. And in the last 2 days or so it's been bugging to bend over, lean down or stand up. I'm still feeling okay walking, it's not too bad. I had hoped to have a little more time without it, but maybe because my body has done it all before those tendons and ligaments are all weaker, so it's happening sooner?
The Tummy. When I took a nap yesterday, I was on my right side and went to shift a little back to the left and something pulled on the right side of my stomach quite painfully. I went back to the former position, but forgot about it and went to shift again and ouch. It's too early for this!!! Then tonight on the couch I yawned and my stomach expanded and the same painful pulling/stretching on the middle/right side of my stomach happened again. I'm only 18 bloody weeks! Not big enough for that. It's too earlyyyyyyyy. Yes, that was whining.
It is what it is. I've accepted that, I know I was signing up for 9 months of not being comfortable and being in pain for most of it. I will honestly say I didn't expect it to be worse than the first one. But it is. So, I decided that I expect the third to be worse. So, I shouldn't be too disappointed, right? I'm all for waiting for quite a while before number 3.
Lately I've been really just wanting to know exactly what it looks like inside. Not that I want to see for myself, but I would like a nice diagram or drawn up picture. I need to understand and I need to know the severity of it. There's nothing I can do to change how this pregnancy (or any of my pregnancies) will go, but I just feel better knowing. All I know is the term is "severely bifurcated uterus" But that seems to encompass quite a few scenarios. Tomorrow I go in for my 18 week and find out what we are having (yay!) and my doctor is making notes of things he see's or something like that so he has something to send the Perinatologist. I'm going to Idaho Falls to have an ultrasound by a Perinatologist who comes up from Primary Children's (I think) in Salt Lake. This is the one extra step they are doing this time knowing what we know. I am hoping, but not totally expecting, he/she can tell me something more. If not, I think after I have this kid I'll go into someone who knows what to look for and has a high res ultrasound machine to take a look and give me better answers. Unless my doc can during the c-section. I had one at the hospital here in Rexburg after I had Naomi, but it was just to determine if I had 2 kidney's and had blood flow to those and either uter and ovaries. And I did to all.
If the trend of "with my girls, I wasn't as sick as I was with my boys" or vice versa holds true for me, this should be a boy. But I wont be surprised if it's not. I don't hold a lot of stock in wives tales or the trend. I want a boy someday, so it would be nice to have one now. I'd have to buy a few things, but not much. And it would be nice to have a girl because I already know I like them a whole lot and I don't have to buy anything and Naomi would have a sister somewhat close in age. So... we'll see tomorrow!
I vent, I rant, I whine about it all (cause it helps), but I am always so grateful that I can carry a child. That I am pregnant. That things are going well with the baby no matter what is going on with me. It just takes it's toll - the sick and the pain all day every day. Some days I'm in better moods, some days not so much. Today is a mellow kind of mood. Which is why the tone of this post is kind of blahish. Oh, I haven't mentioned that having to eat all the bloody time is putting weight on like I did with Nae. My good start isn't meaning a whole lot. And it's worse since I haven't been able to exercise much. Since I fight for energy all day. Anyway.... maybe I'll talk about it later.