Mr. and Mrs. Potatohead: i am going to be cut open soon and i didn't expect it to be so soon and im nervous and it's weird and a little scary

Yeah, it's true.

I'm still kind of.... in shock? Umm, I can't quite figure out the right words for how I'm feeling. Like this is unreal? I woke up this morning hoping to see if we can flip her or not at this doctors appointment. Walked in and was excited to see that I hadn't hit a 50 pound weight gain yet. And then the first thing my doc said when he walked in was, "Swollen?".

I held up my hands and said, yeah, can't see my knuckles. And he said, "Your face." Yes, I'm sure glad it is that obvious that my face isn't supposed to be this fat. He looked at my ankles and calves and said he wanted to check my urine for protein. He walked out, walked right back in and said I had WAY too much protein in my urine. Which is bad. I have 2 of the 3 preeclampsia symptoms. My blood pressure isn't too high; I have been taking those "stop cramping" pills that are also used for lowering blood pressure. I have been taking them twice a day every day for 3 weeks so we are going to wait till they are out of my system (since I stopped taking them today) and take my blood pressure again. Because they could have lowered it.

With this new development a version was out of the question and without a version my baby wont flip which means c-section. He told me that even with a version the chances of us turning her were really low given the fact that she still wont budge from her comfy little right side of my uterus. Doing a version would cause too much stress on her given the fact that my body is already under stress.

All of the symptoms he asked me about I had. The swelling, the seeing stars, the headaches, the pain under my right ribcage (liver). I attributed all of these things to just being pregnant. Especially the rib pain, and most of it is her, but in the last week I have been having sharp pains there every once in a while. Which could not be her and is my liver. Unless she's sprained or broken ribs - which I thought was a viable possibility :)

He is glad I'm 36 weeks so she is developed enough to be outside of me and live on her own. They will try to get me to at least 38 weeks. I go in twice a week for nonstress tests at the hospital (first one is this Thursday) and will be seeing him (the doc) every week. But, I could be scheduled for a c-section in that amount of time. We don't know when, it all depends on the stress tests and the blood work I gave them today. I wont find out those results until tomorrow morning. I was also given a big jug (I'm posting a picture - it's too hilarious) to put all of my urine in for the next 24 hours. I have never heard of this - I was laughing hysterically. AND to make it even better, you have to keep it in the fridgerator. I am going to put a post-it that says, "NOT O.J." for Jaren. :)

I also had an ultrasound. Her rear is too far into my pelvis we couldn't see it. We got a split second glance at her face - our first!! Chubby litle cheeks with a little nose.:D I'm so glad to know she has at least those. Her feet, BOTH of them, were up at her face. So funny, she is folded in half, but still kicks me super low! So it means she will put her legs down, give me a good kick, then bring them back up. It makes me laugh. I love this little thing. She is "Frank Breach", he said.

I wouldn't let him leave the room until he answered EVERY SINGLE ONE of my questions. I had him go over every little detail about a c-section and what I needed to bring and what happens before and after and the recovery. One of my biggest concerns was where she was going to go after she came out. I didn't want her out of either (Jaren or I) of our sights if she didn't need the NICU. He told me that after they get her all cleaned up and wrapped up they will bring her and give her to Jaren, unless she needs the NICU - which I'm really hoping she doesn't. And she shouldn't since I'm as far along as I am. Or will be.....

My recovery shouldn't be too rough if I do what I'm supposed to and I TRY(instead of just lie there lazily) to recover. I want to be active again so I'm not worried about that. I'm also going to buy a sort of girdle thing that you can wear while your sleeping - or not, but it should help hold everything together and help with the recovery.

This is all so weird. That's all that I can think to describe it. Weird. I didn't think I would have anything like this ever. I thought I would have a normal pregnancy. I'm not going to get into it on this post. I'm going to write a seperate one on how I feel.

Moving on to this last week:

stronger worse cramps in front and back
sharp rib pain
lack of nesting, lack of motivation
found I like decorating onsies and I am currently making a boppy cover
made two nursing covers and am going to make two more - very impressed with myself
trouble sleeping - saturday night or sunday morning I was up from 4 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. I layed in bed for an hour and a half trying to fall back asleep. Finally, after starting to feel really sick to my stomach I got up, ate and read and then went back to bed.
had one day where she didn't move until late afternoon and it scared me to death
then every single day after that she has been moving nonstop it feels like - I can't believe it. She is SO ACTIVE!
the poor thing hiccups 5-10 times a day. Probably more like 10. And it is a hard thumping that reverberates through my uterus. You can see my belly jump.
bought the last of the things I need. 2 bottles and a sleep positioner. I'm ready - good thing too, since she could come any day.
Jaren is afraid to leave me alone because the doctor mentioned seizures. I'm not worried, they will take her out before it ever came close to that. And it's weird because I feel okay.... so it's weird to know what's going on with my body.