Pop Goes the Weasel. Or Tire.

I've slowly started exercising over the last two weeks.  Last time I jumped right in at 2.5 months postpardum and my milk supply dropped dramatically, so this time I'm being much more careful.  I also am storing tons and tons of milk just incase.  Because I don't think I'm capable of producing for a year.  Or 4 or 5 months.  At least as much as she will need. 

Just as a side note; I hate pumping.  It's a mean machine.  But I need it.  But I don't have to like it.  Not even a little. 

Okay.  I feel better.

So, Saturday Jaren took Naomi to help him mow the lawn and I took Adalyn in my stroller to go for a walk.  I ordered a double jogging stroller and am picking it up on Wednesday so I can't go for walks with both kids until I get it.  I've been dying to get outside so I was really excited when I didn't feel totally exhausted and Jaren was able to take Nae. 

I only made it about 30 yards before I couldn't stand walking anymore so I started a very slow jog (turned out to be about a 13 minute mile.  I was runnung 9 minute miles when I got pregnant).  It felt good to move like that again!  I made it just under a mile and a half (halfway back to the house) when I hear a huge gunshot sound and the stroller goes kerplunk.  My right back tire had popped!  Well... I could walk it back, but that's not going to be fun carrying it because the tread was totally off the rim.  And I would have to carry it because it was rocking back and forth really bad and Addi was a rockin which she didn't like; I could tell by all the growls and grunts I was getting.  So, I was going to see if I could get a ride back and just be grateful for the workout I got.

I called Jaren and didn't get an answer.  I guessed he wouldn't because he was mowing the lawn - who hears their phone while mowing?  So I left a message and then sent a text hoping he'd just check his phone and see it.  And then I just started walking.  While carrying and balancing the stroller on it's good wheels.  It was getting quite hot and Adalyn was in pajamas with feet so I didn't want her to get hot. 

I ended up walking the entire almost mile and a half back carrying that blasted stroller.  My biceps and forarms were cramping (think of holding 20 pounds up for 25 minutes at a 90 degree angle without letting it down).  Blah.  Quite the workout I ended up getting! 

And quite the headache I now have.  Sore back and neck and arms.  Good thing I have a chiropractor appointment this week.

After about 2 minutes in the house I heard another gunshot sound and went outside and sure enough the other back tire had popped!  My guess is it's been in the garage since last fall and the temp getting cold then hot, cold then hot was making the air in the tube contract and expand and then with the heat that morning - POP! 

So, this week I am buying 4 no puncture tires to replace those on both the single and double Bob.  And then the green expanding goo stuff for the front tires (since they don't make no puncture tires that small). 

Because the thought of that happening with both of them in the double makes me cringe.   Talk about 40 pounds or more. 

This was before the second one popped. 

6 Weeks Too Soon

Or 3 weeks sooner than anticipated.  At my 32 week appointment I was scheduled for my C-Section  on June 15th at 37 weeks and 2 days.  Naomi came a day before that, so we figured I could do a day more. Now, I meant to do updates and I just hadn't gotten around to it.  I was too busy nesting and organizing/sorting/de-junking every inch of my house. Literally.  I'm not even kidding.  It is quite amazing if I do say so myself.  

(This post was written throughout the last 6 weeks off and on)  (And here is the story from my last pregnancy.)

Once I hit about 29-30 weeks I started swelling and it was worse each week.  The pain I was already in got more painful each day and I was having to spend less and less time on my feet.  To the point that at about 32-33 weeks I could only go about 20-30 minutes at a time, then would have to sit down and put my feet up because the swelling in my legs and feet were terrible and painful.  I had sciatica pain this time that I didn't have last time.  The PSD was worse and I had low stretching pain that wasn't just round ligament pain.  Basically there was a whole lot of pain around my pelvis and hips and lower abdomen.  

So, when at 32 weeks and 6 days I had menstrual like cramps at 9:30 p.m. for an hour strait I was concerned because it wasn't the same as all of my other pain and I didn't feel okay about it.   The next morning I went into the doctor to rule out a UTI.  I've never had one before and I didn't have any of the usual signs of one, except for the cramping - that can happen because of one.  Turns out, I did have one, but they sent me in for a Non Stress Test anyway.  The baby was fine, but I was told my uterus was "quivering", which just means it was irritated.  But that was ruled to be because of the UTI.  So, I took my antibiotics and went about my business.  Although, I started taking it even easier because of more pain and it was just so hard to move.  

I went into my 34 week appointment at 33 weeks and 6 days (last Tuesday).  The week before I had gained 5 pounds in a week and that week I had gained 7 pounds.  Not good.  My blood pressure was rising, but not alarmingly.  That I attribute to the baby aspirin I had been taking since I was 20 weeks pregnant to reduce the chance of Preeclampsia.  It was recommended by the Perinatologist (pregnancy specialist).  I was supposed to stop taking it at 36 weeks - a week before the surgery.  I was spilling protein in my urine and the swelling was so bad; the preeclampsia was back.  But they were mostly worried about my blood pressure rising.  I asked my doctor, "I've been on the antibiotics for a week now, when is the cramping supposed to stop?"  He said, "Uhhh... I don't think that is because of the UTI"  So, he wanted to get me to 35 weeks and was hoping to not have to take me in for the C-Section until 36 weeks.  I was so sure I could make it 2 weeks.  Thinking I could just deal with the pain for that long.  I was put on a salt restricted diet.  I had already cut back quite a bit, but I was going to try to find food with basically none.  That night I spent an hour or so looking up recipe's, pinning them on pinterest and making a grocery list. I was going to go get them the next day, and get out the baby clothes.  And that was it, because I was supposed to be taking it easy. 

Before bed I found I lost my plug (if you think it's TMI, sorry...).  I remembered the same thing happening with Naomi, but I wasn't quite sure if it was it.  I got out my what to expect book and read every thing on it.  When I got to the pre-term labor section and was reading all of the signs and symptoms I realized I had about all of them.  I didn't really know what to think and was trying to decide if I should go into the doctor about it, but we basically covered everything that day.  And I attributed a lot of it to the UTI and just my overall pain. 

We went to bed at 11.  

I got up at 12:55 to pee.  

I was kind of in that state of sleepy awareness of the outside world when I felt like, a pressure pop thing inside around my cervix and then a whole lot of liquid run out and down my leg.  My eyes popped open and I thought, "Oh no.  That's not good."  So, in a very, very calm even voice I said, "Jaren?"  He was sleepy responsive, 

"Huh?  Yeah?" 

"Will you help me up to go to the bathroom?"

"Oh... sure" He started getting up to make is way around to me.

"My water just broke."

"What?" Still sleepy, but came to me and helped me up.  With every movement more water came out.

No pain.  Where is my PSD?  It doesn't hurt. 

It was 2:03

Oh no, I'm in labor.  I need to make sure there is no blood.

"Will you turn on the light?"

"What?"

"I need to make sure there is no blood, will you turn on the light?"  

He turned on the light.  No blood.  Sigh of relief.  

"You need to call your parents and tell them my water broke.  And call the hospital, tell them my water broke and I am 34 weeks and a C-Section and Dr. Watson is our doctor."  

"Okay."  He walked out of the room.
I haven't felt the baby move since before bed... but there is no blood, so placenta is okay... she's okay...

I went to the bathroom and went pee. 

Not much pain.  I can walk normally.  This is so weird.

 A large amount of water on the floor and when I went to clean up I thought, "what am I doing?  More water is just going to come out."

I went to the closet to get dressed.  Put on a shirt, then got out some underwear and pants and all this time with every movement more water came out.  

Jaren came in and I said, "It wont stop, it just keeps coming."  So he grabbed a towel.  I put it between my legs and just stood there not quite sure what to do.  I couldn't go to the hospital naked, but it seemed so weird to put clothes on when I was just going to soak them.  But Jaren's parents were coming over and I couldn't not have any pants on.  

"Did you call your parents?"

"Yes"

"Are they coming?"

"Yes"

"Did you call the hospital?"

"Yes"

"Did you tell them Dr. Watson was my doctor?"

"Oh... No.."  He left to go call again. 

Contractions started.  A painful menstrual like cramp ones.  Mostly in front.  Some in back.  

I decided I'd put my pants on.  I bent forward and another deluge came.
There's no way they can stop this...  I've lost too much water.  I'm having my baby tonight.  She's too early.  This is too soon.  I need to pack a bag.

I kept trying to clean up the water, but everywhere I stepped my feet were walking in wet stuff.  I grabbed my large purse and put my nighttime chapstick in.  I went to the bathroom, grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste.  Brush, face lotion, deoterant and then just stood there looking around trying to figure out what else to take.  Jaren comes in.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm probably not coming home, I should pack a bag."

I don't have Naomi's things ready.

"We can do that later, come on."

I don't have her clothes out.

"Okay."

Can I have more children?

I went into the kitchen and grabbed my phone charger.  Walked into the front room and grabbed my Kindle and it's charger.  Walked back into the kitchen and grabbed my antibiotics.  

"Let's go"

I need my camera.

"I need my camera"

"Why?"

"The baby is probably coming.  We need pictures."

"We can get it later."

You're going to regret this

"Okay."

I walked down the hall, went into Naomi's room bent forward to look at her and a bunch more water came out.  It was a steady trickle with every movement at that point.  The contractions were steadily getting stronger and more painful.  I had no idea how far apart.  Just hurt all the time. 

I can't make it stop

I walked into my room and grabbed my pillow.  I felt weird doing it, but it seemed important.  I went into the garage and opened the garage door.  Jaren's parents had just gotten there.  

I walked down the stairs holding my purse, pillow and towel.  I came to Jaren's mom and said, "It just came and wont stop.  I'm sorry."  She wanted to know if I was okay.  I told her I was fine, just starting to hurt.  His dad asked if I wanted a blessing.  I said, "Oh, yes please."  So we walked to the front door and with every step more water came out.  

This has to be all the amniotic fluid.  I hope she's okay.  I haven't felt her move since last night.  This is kind of embarrassing leaking in front of his dad. 

I set down the towel on the chair and tried to keep myself under control.  Tried not to feel scared.  And only teared up and cried a teeny bit. 

I told them both thank you, gave them hugs and went out the door, and into the garage and put the towel on the seat and got up.  The whole while steadily leaking.  Contractions hurting worse and the realization there was no stopping it and I was fully into labor hitting.

We made it about a quarter of a mile down the road when we heard the "ding ding ding".  Oopse.  The tank was totally on empty.  And I had drove into town and back on that empty tank the day before, so there was no trying to make it into town on it.  Jaren turned around and his dad was behind us and followed us back to the "yard" (farm yard in front of our house).  When Jaren told him we needed gas he turned on the pump for us and Jaren put just enough in to get us into town and back.  (We have fuel pumps in the farm yard). 

While he was gassing up I decided to call my parents.  It was such a huge thing happening that I felt like I should tell someone.  But at 2 in the morning I couldn't call anyone except them.  At least I figured my water breaking super early justified my calling them in the middle of the night.  Even though they were in Washington and couldn't do anything.  I just felt like they needed to know.

I called my mom's cell phone first before I realized she probably didn't have it right next to her, turned on.  So I hung up and called the house phone.  My Dad answered and this is how the conversation went:

Dad:  sleepy, "Hello?"
Me:  Hi Dad, it's Whitney
Dad:  Okay
Me:  I'm just calling to tell you my water broke
Dad:  What?
Me:  My water broke and I'm in labor, I'm going into the hospital
Dad:  Oh no...
Me:  Will you tell Mom?
Dad:  Yes
Me:  Okay, I just thought you should know.
Dad:  Yes
Me:  Lindsey's working tonight!
Dad:  Huh?  Oh...
Me:  Yeah, I'm glad
Dad:  Yeah, that's good
Me:  Alright, well, I'll keep you updated.
Dad:  Okay...
Me:  Love you, bye
Dad:  Bye....

I think he was in a bit of shock.  Besides the fact he was asleep I had just talked to him a few hours before about what happened at the doctor's appointment and how I felt about it. 

This whole time I had been texting Lindsey.  I first sent her a text while I was standing in the back hall with my purse and pillow, waiting for Jaren.
2:15 a.m.
Me:  My water just broke.  I'm comin in.
Lindsey:  Really?!  I'm waiting in the ER admitting.  I'm telling the admitting clerk so she's getting you registered now. Do you need me to go upstairs?  We don't have any patients.
  (Upstairs is where Labor and Delivery and Mother Baby (where you go after you have your baby) is.) 

Me:  I'll go right upstairs.  We've already called
Lindsey:  So what entrance are you going to?  The ER or LDR?  The house supervisor will meet you there to take you up. 

Back to Jaren and I at the pump.  As soon as he put in a few gallons we took off like a rocket.  Or as fast as a Yukon can go like a rocket.  There are two ways into town from our house.  You can go through Hibbard (an area outside of Rexburg) or down the Salem Highway.  The choice is only a mile from our house; either turn or go strait.
Jaren:  Which way should we go?
Me:  the one least likely to have cops.
Jaren:  .........
Me:  I'd go through Hibbard. 
Jaren:  Okay.
what would happen if we did run into a Po. 

Me:  What would happen if we did see a cop?

Jaren:  He would follow us to the hospital.

Me:  I wonder what he would do...  He'd be calling in a high speed chase and then we'd lead him to the hospital.  Would he give you a ticket?  Take you to jail?  Or let us be because I'm in pre-term labor?  

Jaren:  I don't know.  (he often wonders how my mind works, and why I wonder so much)

I wonder if he'd have enough time to call in a helicopter.  Or if the helicopter is close by.. probably not.  Has there ever been a helicopter chase in Rexburg, Idaho?  Would this warrant a helicopter chase?  Owwwwiiiiieeeeeeeee...

The contractions were really strong and happening more often than I realized.  I wasn't timing them.  I didn't think to since I was obviously in labor and I was going to be having a C-Section anyway.
I can't believe I'm experiencing labor.  I never thought I would ever know what a real labor contraction felt like.  Or what my water breaking felt like. 

Back to texting Lindsey:  2:32 a.m.

Me:  LDR. We're driving fast
Me:  Hope Watson comes in
Hope it's not some doctor I don't know and doesn't know my situation and will try something stupid since I'm already in labor.  Like a version or delivering a breach baby.  I don't want to explain it all...  Owwwwiiieeee!!
I'm really glad Lindsey is there. 
Me:  I'm kind of glad you are there
Lindsey:  Got it.  I'm calling him to let him know.
Lindsey:  I told them your Dr. is Watson so they should have called him.  If not Dr. Meredith is here.  He's an awesome OB Dr. so that's good :)
Lindsey:  I'm going upstairs
Me:  Ok, good.  I think 5 minutes or less we will be there.
Lindsey:  Okay sounds good

Today is Isak's birthday..... (my nephew)

Me to Jaren:  It's Isak's birthday.
Jaren:  It is?
Me:  Yeah.  Lena is going to hate us.  First we get married on her birthday, then we have our baby on her firstborn's birthday.
Jaren:  She is not going to hate you. 
Me:  But she had Edyn on Nathan's birthday so I think that even's things out.


Me texting Lindsey:  It's Isak's birthday
Lindsey:  LOL, I know!  Are you having contractions?
Me:  I'm cramping a lot, hurts pretty good.  I assume so?
I was still shocked and in a bit of denial.  Even though I was sitting on a wet towel and having the worst menstrual cramps I'd never thought I'd experience.  And I get some pretty bad cramps. 
Lindsey:  Okay we're waiting outside for you.
Me:  I'm here


At that point we pulled into the little 5 minute parking drop off spot at the Labor and Delivery/ Mother Baby Unit door.  There was Lindsey and a tall man standing behind a wheel chair.
Oh... I get to ride in a wheel chair. 
He came up to the door as I opened it and helped me out.  I grabbed my purse and pillow and asked him if I should put the towel down on the wheel chair.  (I should have just done it)  He told me I didn't have to.  So I just sat down.
Me:  "It's going to get wet.  I'm leaking a lot"
Him:  "It's okay."
I don't think he believes me....


My last image of the outside world as I was being wheeled around and to the door's was Lindsey getting in the driver's seat and backing out of the parking spot and Jaren hurrying to catch up.
Oh, that's nice of Lindsey....

Through two sets of doors, up the elevator, through another set of double doors, around the corner and into the same room I was in for my NST a week before.  There was the gown on the bed and sure enough, I stand up and left quite the circle on the seat.  I told the guy, "Oopse... sorry about that."  He said it was fine.   A week or so later I was walking out of the hospital and passed what looked like the same wheel chair.  I couldn't help but wonder if he cleaned it or just let it dry.....


I put on the gown the whole while dripping down my leg.  It was such a weird gross feeling to be continually wet and not be able to stop it.

Flash back to the week before when I was there for my NST:
I was in the bathroom and had just put on the gown.  I started to walk to the bed and Jaren asked if I wanted my flip flops on.  At first I said "No" until I thought about it and instead said, "Yeah, never know what kinds of things have been on the floor in here"

Back to being in labor:
Oh.... now I know what's on the floor in here....

 Onto the table - I still hadn't felt her move since before I went to bed.  I was really anxious for the monitors to be hooked up and on so I could be reassured.  The minute the nurse started strapping those thing's onto my stomach she kicked and then there was her heart beat on the monitor.  I was so relieved.  The nurse left us alone and Lindsey came in.  I started telling her about how I left my camera (as I glared at Jaren) and she asked if I'd like Nate (her husband) to bring their camera.  He rotates 5 days of nights and 5 days of day shifts at work, so he was staying up all night to get ready for a night shift.  I said YES PLEASE!  And she called him.


Linds took a picture of us with my phone, I regretted not taking a few more maternity pictures even though I was massive (I totaled out at 46 pounds weight gain with Naomi at 37.1 weeks and with this one at 34 weeks and 2 hours I had gained 53 pounds - no telling how much more had I gone another 3 weeks).  Every time I'd have a contraction I'd tense up and not even realizing I was holding my breath.  Lindsey and Jaren were both yelling at me, "BREATHE!!"  Oh yeah... it's like I forgot I was supposed to do that.  Labor wasn't ever something I thought about.


Nate came in grinning from ear to ear and stayed that way the entire time until I was wheeled out for the C-Section.  He was excited about the baby coming.  I felt like I had to tell someone about what was going on so I posted on facebook about my water breaking.  I was also constantly texting my mom with what was going on whether or not she was there to read it.  Come to find out later she couldn't sleep after she found out and stayed up wondering what was going on.  But never checked her phone!  Silly Mommy.....


Here is the texts for that day:
May 23, 2012 3:22 a.m.
Me:  I forgot to ask you to get a whooping cough booster.  And especially since she is going to be so tiny.
Me:  I'm in labor.  Going to have the C-Section tonight.
Me:  Lindsey is with me.
Me:  This is kinda weird.
Me:  Say lots of prayers for the nugget.
Me:  She who is still not named.
Me:  Jaren still wont let me do Alice.
Me:  Now I've experienced labor.  They are 3 minutes or closer apart.
Me:  I'm dilated to a 1.5 and 90% effaced.
May 23, 2012 5:35 a.m.
Me:  She's here!  4 lbs and 11 oz. and 17.5 inches long!  She's in the NICU, she's getting oxygen and has an IV but she's doing really good and things look really good.  I'll call when I know more.  Love you!
May 23, 2012 7:47 a.m.
Ma:  Oh yeah!!!  Cause we've been worried!!!
Ma:  Thanks for letting us know :)
May 23, 2012 5:32 p.m.
Ma:  Whit!  Is she named yet?
Me:  Yes :)  I'll call you as soon as I finish my chocolate cake  :D


And that was absolutely delicious chocolate cake.  I shared a huge bite with Lindsey because I felt like it wouldn't help my digestive system if I ate it all, but I regret giving her any.  I wish I had ate the whole thing because it was so yummy.  Lindsey works there and can have hospital chocolate cake whenever she wants.



During this time my contractions were  over 2 minutes apart and we were just waiting.  They were calling everyone in that was needed for the surgery.  I felt really bad that I was waking everyone up and making them get out of bed, get dressed and come to work.  The whole thing was just unreal.  I think I was still in shock that my water broke.  I was very aware of the situation and that the baby was coming but I think having Naomi 3 weeks early and being able to take her right home was leaving me with a false sense of hope that this baby wouldn't need to be in the NICU for more than a few days.  And then I kept hearing about so and so having their baby at 34 weeks or 35 and being able to take them right home or only in the NICU for less than 5 days.  In the back of my mind I nursed hope that when I had to go home I'd be able to take her with me. 


And I kept thinking about what this meant for future pregnancies.  I knew already that right at that moment Jaren had made up his mind that we were done.  That terrified me and made me feel guilty for not being able to carry any further.  Logic and experience told me that my water broke for a reason.  I personally think it had almost nothing to do with the baby and had just about everything to do with me.  That I couldn't be pregnant any longer.  My body couldn't take anymore stress and pain, I'd held onto her as long as I could.  And Heaven only knows what problems I would have had had I carried much longer.


So many thoughts and feelings were roiling around and on the outside I kept a smile or grimace (depending on if I was contracting or not) on my face.  I answered questions and tried not to cry or be scared.  When Dr. Watson came in and I saw the look of concern on his face I realized the severity of the situation a little better.  I knew it wasn't okay that I was in labor - that the baby might not be totally okay, but there was nothing that could be done.  I know it wasn't my fault that my water broke, but it's frustrating that I can't control my body.  I should have rested more, shouldn't have tried to clean and sort and organize so much.  Shouldn't have picked Naomi up as much and should have eaten better.  All of these things will be things I do differently next time.


I think Jaren was taking it all in stride up to that point.  As soon as I saw Dr. Watson I said, "It just broke and wouldn't stop coming and coming.  I'm sorry."
Dr. W: "What are you sorry about?  You don't need to be sorry."
Me: "That I woke you up.  That all these people have to come in the middle of the night"
Dr. W: (with a bit of an eye roll) "yes, because it's your fault"
It's not my fault....
Dr. W:  "You know I wont be her doctor for a while, right?"
Me:  "Oh... why?"
Dr. W:  "Because she will be in the NICU.  Dr. Gates will be her doctor."
Me:  "Okay.  How long will she be in the NICU?"  (fully expecting less than a week)
Dr. W.:  "We don't know exactly what we are getting, but you can expect at least 2-3 weeks."


And that's where it got real.  Having my doctor who is always so optimistic and nice say what I was so scared of made it real.  (Come to find he was being optimistic compared to the NICU doctors and nurses).  After he left that's when I saw Jaren's face.  He looked sad.  I asked him if that was what was wrong and he said yes.  So then I felt bad all over again for having a premature baby and making Jaren worry so much.


It seemed that once my Doctor was there that there wasn't much point in making me wait and suffer.  At this point my contractions were 2 minutes apart and terribly painful.  I couldn't get comfortable and I felt so much empathy for anyone who went through labor and had their babies vaginally.  I experienced 2 and a half hours of hard labor, and I can't imagine those poor women who are in labor for 8 hours or more. 



I've had a C-Section before.  I knew exactly what was coming, but I thought I was going to have more time to prepare myself.  So I was scared.  Scared of the spinal, of getting sliced open and pushed and pulled and beat up to get that baby out.  But all that mattered was getting the baby out.  I sat up on the table to get the spinal in and everyone was silent while that was happening.  Then one of the nurses says, "Oh, beautiful Whateverhisnamewas.  Good job."
Me:  "Well, I'm sure glad to hear you say that."
Laughter
So then I am laid back and the get to work putting the sheet over me and making sure I'm good and totally numb before the catheter - I specifically asked that they not touch me until I couldn't feel a thing.  And once the contractions went away I experienced a feeling of euphoria.  I didn't realize how tense I had been!  I was almost giddy.  I asked them, "Is this what it feels like to have an epidural?"  The total absence of pain?   The sheer bliss?  The little bit of cookiness?  Because I got a little silly.


Jaren came in and they got started.  I wanted to know if I could have an IUD with my weirdie uterus.  It was one of the things my doctor was supposed to make note of when he got a good look inside.  I held Jaren's hand and just talked to him.  Apparently the anesthetist had just gone home an hour before and was tucked nicely in bed and then got the phone call to come back because of me.  He was grumpy and not very happy with me.  Hey!  Not My Fault!
Right?
Right.
I was glad he didn't take it out on my spinal.
Maybe that was what the nurse was worried about and when she saw he did a nice normal insertion and I was going to have a pain free surgery she exclaimed,  "Beautiful!  Good Job!"  He's not going to kill her.....


I was trying to listen to the conversation of the two doctors cutting me open and finding out what my uter's looked like but I couldn't hear much of it because people were talking around me.  But Dr. Jeppeson who was assisting did tell me that she was really glad I was having my baby right now, because the date I was scheduled for (the 15th of June) she was going to be gone and wouldn't be able to see my awesome uterus split in half.  It was a nice bit of funny during a serious situation.  I was glad to have made her dreams come true.  I hope she wasn't disappointed.


When they push on your stomach to push the baby down and out it is terrible.  And you are so sore and bruised for days afterwards.  This time it was so high up on my ribs I couldn't hardly breathe.


Jaren was watching them pull her out and it was so fun to hear how excited he was.  He took lots of pictures with Lindsey's camera (I have yet to see any of them because Lindsey has her camera....).  When she came out he said, "Oh, she looks just like Naomi!  She's beautiful!"  And then I heard a shrill scream.  This wasn't a cry, it was a bloody murder scream and it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.  I can't explain the feeling of total relief that I felt as soon as she was out.  It was like a massive weight off of my body and mind.  I can't exactly pinpoint why.


Jaren asked me if it was okay if he went with her.  I don't even know why he asked!  I told him, "Shoo!"  and off he went.   So I laid there and told Dr. Watson to give me a bit of a tummy tuck (take the old scar off) and stitch up my abs and do a good job.  He did all three.  I was so anxious to hear how much she weighed and when they told me 4 lbs 11 oz I was relieved.  I thought it was going to be less.  So here I had a good sized baby for 34 weeks and a few hours and she could scream and breathe on her own.  I can't even remember what her APGAR was.  8 or 9 or 10.  Something good.  She was 17.5 inches long.  One inch less than Nae and over a pound less.



They found that my uterus is split basically exactly in half, right down the middle and only connected by about half an inch or so at the bottom.  So, no IUD (dangit) and no wandering baby parts going from one uter to the other during my pregnancy.  Which was something I was concerned about.



After they stitched me up and I went to recovery (Lindsey and Nate came in and Lindsey told me about her, because she was able to go see her)  I was dying to see the baby.  I had to wait until I could move my toes and legs.  I've never tried so hard to move my toes in my life.  It was so frustrating how long it took, but bless my nurses heart at the faintest sign of movement she had Jaren get me up and help me into a wheel chair so I could see my baby. 



It was while the neonatologist from Idaho Falls was there.  He comes once a week on every Wednesday, so it just happened to be on the day I had my baby.  I could only look at her because she had an oxygen thingy strapped to her face and up her nose.  She was tiny and beautiful and had a lot of dark hair and I couldn't get the blasted wheel chair close enough!  She was in an incubator and had tubes and an IV and all sorts of things attached to her.  I wanted to take them all off and hold her and take care of her and take her home.  It was the worst, most helpless feeling of not being able to do a single thing.  Nothing.  I couldn't even get close enough to reach my hand in and touch her.  We were told that it was probably going to take up to a week from her due date till we could take her home.  That was FIVE WEEKS AWAY.  So horrible.  I understand it all, and that they didn't know what she was capable of and had to be as vague as possible.  But, uhg.  I was exhausted and in shock and starting to feel the pain from the surgery and looking at my very tiny baby with a tube inside her and I couldn't touch her.


They took me back to my room and I ate breakfast.... or lunch.  I can't remember.  But I had to wait for help to get into the wheel chair before I could go to the NICU and see her.  So that day I went back and forth the few times the nurse was able to take me.  Jaren went home to get clothes for Naomi and take a shower himself.  I didn't sleep that day.  At around 5 p.m. Jaren came in to take me to the NICU and I was able to hold her for the first time.  The oxygen dealy was off.  She was so little.  And looked just like Naomi, but with a different nose and more hair.


I'll have to write about the rest of the hospital stay later.  And the NICU.  This is plenty long enough.  That night we named her.

Adalyn Mae

4 lbs 11 oz     17.5 inches long

After 17 Days in the NICU she came home at 5 lbs 3 oz. 

Another One?

Yes, Please!

 Another one of these....  Uhhhh....

 A sweet thing who never burps, farts and only poops pink fluffy poofs that are so easy to clean up and smell like roses...

 A nugget who wants to snuggle all the time....

 And is happy every moment of every day...

 And wants nothing more than to make her Mama's life so super easy...

 And is incredibly silly and entertaining...

 And perfect and makes us incredibly happy to have another girl because with one like this, we can't imagine anything better than 4 piggies bobbin up and down around the house.

I just hope they like each other..... 

And I'm excited to use all my girl clothes again... 

And I don't have to re-do the nursery....

18.2 Weeks

It's official.  This pregnancy is continuing to be worse than the first.  I am so excited for the baby.  To have another child.  I have been feeling stronger, bigger movements and feel kicks all throughout the day.  That is the light in all this.  All I think about is this kid.  What's best for her/him. So... I continue to force food in my mouth ever hour or so.  I fight the nausea; not as often as with the first 15 weeks, but it still comes a few times a day.  Some days are better than others, some not so much.  I have good energy days where the low blood sugar thing doesn't seem to be so bad and then I have days where it's all I can do to make it off the couch to the bathroom or to the kitchen to make something to eat.  Unfortunately, it's a rare thing to find food that tastes good.  My fall back snack that I had been eating every day; saltine cracker, cheese slice and pickle slice that had tasted so yummy isn't so yummy anymore.  I have no idea what happened.  Sunday I made it, took a bite and didn't like it.  I forced it all down, but I haven't had it again since.  I had some boneless honey BBQ wings from Applebees the other day and it was the best tasting thing I've had all pregnancy.  Except for maybe the fajita's from Hard Rock in Florida. 

Cramping.  It's getting worse and coming more often.  It seemed to mostly come at nights and not last for too long.  Well, now it's almost all day and is really painful.  The only good thing I think is that I should hopefully be done with so much cramping with my pregnancies since now both sides will have been used and stretched.  That's my hope, anyway. 


PSD.  It has begun.  I noticed a week ago while taking off my pajama bottoms that it felt a bit uncomfortable standing on one leg.  Well, every day since I notice it doing different things.  And in the last 2 days or so it's been bugging to bend over, lean down or stand up.  I'm still feeling okay walking, it's not too bad.  I had hoped to have a little more time without it, but maybe because my body has done it all before those tendons and ligaments are all weaker, so it's happening sooner? 

The Tummy.  When I took a nap yesterday, I was on my right side and went to shift a little back to the left and something pulled on the right side of my stomach quite painfully.  I went back to the former position, but forgot about it and went to shift again and ouch.  It's too early for this!!!  Then tonight on the couch I yawned and my stomach expanded and the same painful pulling/stretching on the middle/right side of my stomach happened again.  I'm only 18 bloody weeks!  Not big enough for that.  It's too earlyyyyyyyy.  Yes, that was whining. 

It is what it is.  I've accepted that, I know I was signing up for 9 months of not being comfortable and being in pain for most of it.  I will honestly say I didn't expect it to be worse than the first one.  But it is.  So, I decided that I expect the third to be worse.  So, I shouldn't be too disappointed, right?  I'm all for waiting for quite a while before number 3. 

Lately I've been really just wanting to know exactly what it looks like inside.  Not that I want to see for myself, but I would like a nice diagram or drawn up picture.  I need to understand and I need to know the severity of it.  There's nothing I can do to change how this pregnancy (or any of my pregnancies) will go, but I just feel better knowing.  All I know is the term is "severely bifurcated uterus"  But that seems to encompass quite a few scenarios.  Tomorrow I go in for my 18 week and find out what we are having (yay!) and my doctor is making notes of things he see's or something like that so he has something to send the Perinatologist.  I'm going to Idaho Falls to have an ultrasound by a Perinatologist who comes up from Primary Children's (I think) in Salt Lake.   This is the one extra step they are doing this time knowing what we know.  I am hoping, but not totally expecting, he/she can tell me something more.  If not, I think after I have this kid I'll go into someone who knows what to look for and has a high res ultrasound machine to take a look and give me better answers.  Unless my doc can during the c-section.   I had one at the hospital here in Rexburg after I had Naomi, but it was just to determine if I had 2 kidney's and had blood flow to those and either uter and ovaries.  And I did to all. 

If the trend of "with my girls, I wasn't as sick as I was with my boys" or vice versa holds true for me, this should be a boy.  But I wont be surprised if it's not.  I don't hold a lot of stock in wives tales or the trend.  I want a boy someday, so it would be nice to have one now.  I'd have to buy a few things, but not much.  And it would be nice to have a girl because I already know I like them a whole lot and I don't have to buy anything and Naomi would have a sister somewhat close in age.  So... we'll see tomorrow! 

I vent, I rant, I whine about it all (cause it helps), but I am always so grateful that I can carry a child.  That I am pregnant.  That things are going well with the baby no matter what is going on with me.  It just takes it's toll - the sick and the pain all day every day.  Some days I'm in better moods, some days not so much.  Today is a mellow kind of mood.  Which is why the tone of this post is kind of blahish. Oh, I haven't mentioned that having to eat all the bloody time is putting weight on like I did with Nae.  My good start isn't meaning a whole lot.  And it's worse since I haven't been able to exercise much.  Since I fight for energy all day.  Anyway....  maybe I'll talk about it later.

Low Blood Sugar

Turns out that's what I've got.  Can't seem to raise it for more than a half hour at a time, though.  I am supposed to eat often.  Like every hour to hour and a half.  You'd think that wouldn't be a problem, except that food still isn't super appealing yet.  And the stuff that is isn't what would be good for a snack.  Like, hot cheetos.  Mmmmmm.....  I used to go through a bag every other day when I was pregnant with Naomi.  When I went through that phase.  I think it lasted a few weeks.  I'm trying to keep it much more reasonable this time.  Like... 1/4 of a bag a day.  Or just on the days I eat it. 

The bummer of a thing is that I've done so well with my weight this time.  Not even on purpose.  I was more sick this first trimester - not throwing up, but incredibly nauseous with all food being disgusting and forcing down every bite.  First trimester with Naomi I gained 6-8 pounds.  This one: 3.  So far I'm at a 7 pound weight gain at 17 weeks and with nae I was 5-7 pounds ahead of where I am at this point.  And, I started out 2 pounds lighter than I did with Nae.  Smaller than I was in high school.  Well, from my Jr. year and on. 

So, I'm on the hunt for low calorie snacks that I can eat often.  So far I eat a saltene cracker, slice of chedder cheese and a pickle slice on it as a snack.  Ooooohh, so good.  I have 8 of them and that gives me about a half hour of energy till I'm ready to drop again.  An apple does really well.  I've been forcing all kinds of healthy things down.  Not that I don't like healthy, because I do, but this pregnancy is just so strange. 

Good news?  We find out what we are having one week from tomorrow!  I'm excited.  Nervous.  Not expecting one or the other.  Jaren is sure it's a girl, I don't really have an opinion or an inkling one way or another.  With Nae, it was on the way to the ultrasound that I felt like it was a girl.  We'll see about this one. 

And since I'm on the computer with all of the pictures, here is a picture! 

This was taken 2 weeks ago.  So I was a few days past 15 weeks.  Huge, right?  But wait.... I'm smaller in the next picture...

Angles.   And this next one is from my first pregnancy.  This is what I mean, I think I'm showing about 2-3 weeks ahead this time. 

Huh.... I think I look more like a mom now.  But, maybe that's cause I don't do my hair as well?  Or... also cause I am?  So, I don't do my hair much.  Oh well.....

16.5 Weeks - No. 2

A few new things.  Besides feeling like my uter has decided to fall out of my abdomen and make laying on my right side uncomfortable because of gravity.
Oh wait, that's right, that's news too.  Baby is on the LEFT side this time.  Here, I thought it was on the right - tricky little nugget.  So explains that I'm still cramping.  I thought I wouldn't cramp so much or so bad since the right side had already been stretched.  But we are doing it all over again.

The cramping has picked up.  It's more often and hurts worse than I remember it hurting with Nae.

The other night, I was getting out of my Pajama pants to get into bed, and I was standing on my left leg and started feeling the pull of PSD.  A little pain.  I thought, oh crud, here it goes again.  See, I expected to have it again, but I sure hoped it would wait a bit longer to show itself.  My guess is in another month it'll hurt constantly.

It's the strangest thing.   Please tell me I'm not the only one.  It sounds weird tryin to describe it but you can only get what I'm saying if you see it in person.  And Jaren's been the only one around when it happens.  So, I'll feel a little funny sensation where the baby is. Like pressure, like something pushing on my stomach from the inside (since that is exactly what is happening).  I'll look down and there will be a huge lump.  My whole (or as much as can come out) uterus is pushing out/up against my stomach.  You can cup your hand around it and it's like holding the baby in your hand.  It's been happening more often and that's how I knew it was on the left side.  3:30 one morning when the call of the wild woke me up, I rolled onto my back and felt it, I put my hand on my tummy and woke RIGHT up - LEFT SIDE?!?!!.  In my very tired state I was scared and couldn't sleep the rest of the night.  In the morning I just realized that we just have to hope it'll stretch to at least 37 weeks like the right side did.  That's it.  No scary stuff.  And it's so nice to know it works!  So, I have 2 halves of working uteri.  And they both somehow come out of my tummy while I'm laying on my back.  It's like a buoy.  The kid isn't strong enough to push it's whole body against it to push it up.  Right?  I've just never heard anyone elses uter's rising.  But, after a little while it goes back in.  And if it's really out there and I get up or do something that flexes my muscles and forces it back - OUCH.

I felt the kid move for the first time the day before I turned 14 weeks while in Florida.  It was a tiny little flutter, but I knew it wasn't gas.  It wasn't!  And since then I'd felt it every few days, just a little flutter.  Then about a week ago I started feeling kicks.  Maybe one a day or so.  Usually when my pants were pressed up against it.  But yesterday (when I finally found chocolate tasted good again, well, dark chocolate anyway (which I don't usually care for...)) it was kicking and moving a ton!  It was really nice to feel it so well.  It was then I had my emotional experience.

I didn't realize until yesterday that I had been keeping myself as emotionally unattached to this pregnancy as possible.  I had wondered a bit why I didn't feel an overwhelming sense of attachment and connection to this fetus like I did Naomi.  With Nae it was like that from day one.  Well, even before day one, really.  When I found out I was pregnant with this one I cried and cried.  Tears of gratitude and relief.  Since finding out about my "condition" I've worried about being able to get pregnant again or being able to get pregnant again very easily (it took 2 tries with Nae).   So, when we got pregnant on the first try I was immensely grateful and relieved.  But then I was scared.  Scared of a miscarriage, which so many women have and is very common with someone with my innards.  So, I've kept myself as detached as possible so if it happened I wouldn't be as devastated as I would have otherwise.  Now, I don't think I realized this fully until yesterday.  That's why I've waited as long as I have to make the pregnancy public.  I was sitting down, changing Naomi's diaper (usually where epiphanies happen, right?) thinking about how I was finally really feeling excited about the baby.  And thinking in more detail of it and what it means and what it might be like and what it would be like when it comes and picturing my life with two kids.  I realized that I was holding so much back for fear of miscarriage and with feeling the baby move so much that fear went away.  Well, mostly.  I'm still nervous, but I'm a few days away from 17 weeks and am feeling mostly safe.  It just feels nice to feel this way again.  And to understand why I haven't been as emotionally moved (I cried about every time with Nae) when I hear the heartbeat.  It's more a feeling of relief and I say, "It's still alive!"  And you know, my ogre mood I'd been in lately has mostly dissipated.  I'm a bit more of a happier person. 

Onto one more nugget of information.  With Nae I often felt dizzy and lightheaded.  I'd stand up and immediately have to sit back down again or flop on the floor until the blood returned to my head.  Then I'd get up and get whatever I needed to get done done, but I felt better and there wasn't any lingering stuff.  I even do this sometime while not pregnant.  Mostly in the shower (we have a tiny square thing that doesn't let any steam or heat out).  Well, it was getting so bad in the shower that I was basically showering on the ground because I couldn't stand and raise my arms over my head for more than 30 seconds.  I moved to our hall shower that is a tub shower - so the heat can move out.  I haven't had bouts of "gona pass out, sit, sit sit sit!"  that were too bad.  But, the last few days I've noticed that I'm getting really tired really easy.  Not, like, I'm sleepy tired, but like, I can't lift my arms up tired.  I'll have to sit for a while, it was really hard to stand in the kitchen to make a meal.  Then yesterday all morning I couldn't take more than 10 steps without being out of breath and needing to drop to the floor or I'd pass out.  I couldn't say more than 2 sentences without leaning on the counter and breathing like I'd just sprinted for 5 minutes.  Needless to say it was a bit alarming.  We live in a split level, I could make it up the first set of stairs and halfway up the next before sitting down to catch my breath and let the blood move to my head again.  I can't lift my arms above my head without dropping to the ground till I knew I wasn't going to pass out.
We looked it up and we thought it was low blood sugar.  So, I was eating a bit more fruit and I felt better after lunch and then didn't feel so well a while after.  After my nap I ate my favorite snack of saltine crackers, cheddar cheese and pickles and felt a bit better.  Better enough to put fish sticks and tater tots on a pan for dinner.  The first time I've ever done that.  But it tasted good, so oh well.  Talking to my sister in law, Vicki, she mentioned she had iron deficiency and is taking iron supplements and felt the same way before they diagnosed it.  And now she's feeling better.  She's also expecting.
Today I've been struggling with the out of breath and getting light headed/dizzy again.  But not as severe as yesterday.  After waking up from my nap I felt especially bad. Not only super weak, but also a bit nauseous.  I grabbed applesauce (which I hate) thinking if it was low blood sugar this should take care of it.  I ate it, and nothing.  I felt more nauseous and still felt dizzy and weak.  So, then I thought, if it's iron I need meat.  I made half a sandwich (with pickles, because I can't seem to get enough - wasn't a craving I had with Nae, but Oooo so yummy now) and ate it.  Afterwards I felt like I had more energy, not as dizzy and the nausea went away.  For a while, anyway.  Seems a constant struggle.  So, I'm making an appointment tomorrow to have them take my blood and tell me what the heck is going on.  I can't live like this.  I can't carry Naomi for more than 5 steps.  I can't play with her.  I can't get anything done because I can't stand in the kitchen for more than a few minutes!  Dishes - ugh.

So, I'll post about my results tomorrow!  And yay for feeling life; exuberant kicking, wiggling life.  Yay for better moods and yay for my daughter who brings me so much joy.  And frustration.... some bad habits...  that's for another day. 

15 Weeks - No. 2

Here it comes again, another baby.  Planned?  Yes.  Excited?  Yes.  Although I've kind of reached a limbo state.  Finally starting to feel well and get a bit of energy back just as my stomach muscles are starting to hurt a little and my belly is getting big kind of faster than I thought it would be.  Not to mention the girls hurt from day one worse than I ever remember (besides clogged ducts) them hurting.  And have every second of every day since.  I can't even lay on my back for more than 30 minutes without getting up and wanting to cry a little.  Not even mentioning laying on my side.... 

Last pregnancy I didn't have headaches, it was a miracle.  Literally.  Because I get head aches for as long as I can remember.  I remember going to the nurses office in 5th grade and asking for Excedrin.  They told me they could only give me Tylenol.  Pansy medicine.....  Come to think of it... what was I doing taking Excedrin at 10?!!!  Maybe I was older...  Anyway, 4 wheeling accident at 17 and they came more often and much worse.  So, to say I had not one single one from the moment I got pregnant until I had Naomi and got a spinal one from the Spinal thingy is a miracle.  I'm not so fortunate this time.  And Tylenol does squat.  It's made it a bit less fun. 

Also making it a bit less fun is the sickness that is much worse this time around.  And exhaustion the likes I never knew possible.  Except with 5 month old babies.  Seriously, I would go to sleep at 10, Naomi wakes up at 7 a.m. (9 hours so far) and I'm still in a coma so Jaren (the sweet wonderful man that he is) takes her out, puts on a show, gives her a banana then comes in to take a shower.  I sleep for another 30 minutes to an hour with this.  So, we are up to 10 hours.  Then, about 10-10:30 I've lost any steam I built up with my 10 hour slumber.  Another show comes on and I get my pillow, tell Naomi that Mama is tired and taking a rest and get anywhere from 30-60 minutes of sleep in between having toys shoved in my face or having to switch a show.  I wake up and feel like I can run a half marathon and then about 12:30-1 p.m. I'm down again.  Thank heavens Naomi goes down for a nap just after 1.  So then, do I.  For at least 2 hours.  That's anywhere from 13-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period!  Every single day until I left to Florida on the 2nd of January and had to stay awake if I wanted to see the parks.  And for the last 2 days I haven't been so sure I even need a nap.  Although, I still feel really tired and have taken them anyway.  Still getting 8-9 hours of sleep at night. 

Onto the sickness.  With Naomi it was something that was constant, but not always horrible.  And I was able to eat and fix it.  Well, for a while, anyway.  I craved things and not all food tasted bad.  Most of it actually tasted good.  Except sweets; those were yucky.  Never threw up and it ended around the second trimester.  This time?  Really bad nausea constantly.  Food helped for about 20 minutes and then it was back.  It felt like I was on the verge of puking at any second, although I knew I wasn't.  This time I took anti-nausea drugs that helped the second they hit my tongue.  Food was disgusting.  All of it.  Nothing sounded good or tasted good.  It was maybe once a week if I was lucky that I thought, "Hey, this doesn't taste so bad!"  And then I was fighting a gag reflex with each bite.  I forced the food down because I knew I needed it and because not only was I fighting the nausea without it, but I also had hunger pains.  I didn't puke at all until some sort of super bug that was like the 24 hour flu but only 8 hours long and totally completely miserable and violent at Thanksgiving.  But I decided not to count that because it was caused by a bug, not the pregnancy.  Until last Saturday in Florida when I ate some pancakes that were so gross, but the only food I had around me super early in the morning (which is my sickest time of day).  About two hours later my body decided it didn't want that nasty tasting stuff going through my digestive system.  Lucky baby.  So, my clean record is ruined.  But, again, last 2 days I've done better.  I'm feeling hopeful.  Oh, and I have to remember to talk about my Harry Potter Land experience. 

What's different this time now that we know about my "severely bifurcated uterus"?  Knowing the baby will come at 37 weeks.  Maybe even a few days past that.  And by C-Section, which I'm not excited about, but am okay with.  The risks are too high otherwise.  And I'll have more ultrasounds (I had quite a few with Naomi, too) than normal.  I'm going to a specialist at 20 weeks in Idaho Falls with a Neonatal Specialist person from Salt Lake - one of the big hospitals there who comes down a few times a month.  A high resolution ultrasound to make sure everything is looking like the rest of the pregnancy will go okay and the delivery and the baby looks okay.  Other than that it's just the biggest relief to know this time around why I'm cramping and why things will hurt so early and so much worse than my friends.  Why the kid is always on one side and not moving and breach and everything else that doesn't fall into a normal pregnancy.  It scared me so much last time knowing things weren't normal and not knowing why.  I've been cramping this time (with nae it was constant and annoying) and it's not as often, but it's more painful when it does come.  But this time I'm not thinking I'm losing my baby every time.  I'm expecting the PSD, rib pain, cramping, pain, bed rest, ect...  I will say that I'm glad I waited as long as I did, so Naomi is older and doesn't need as much as she would have 8 months ago.  Although, going through this this time has made me think I'm waiting even longer between 2 and 3.  I need the kids older and if the next one is worse than this one....  I just need lots of time between.  I'm not expecting it to be, but I'm not going to expect it not to be either. 

My emotions have been crazy.  I'm crying over the littlest things.  Commercials, watching Naomi, watching Jaren, thinkin too much in my head.  I'm not as happy and carefree as I usually am.  At least it doesn't happen as often.  My mood swings lower more often than normal for me -since it's almost never low usually.  I can't seem to get out of the funk once it hits.  I'm just kind of mellow and blah.  I hope that goes away because I'd much rather be in a fantastic mood most of my days. 

One more thing.  I've been having a lot of low back ache/pain for the past 2 weeks or so already.  Not the best sign of things to come.  And my stomach muscles in one spot on my right side of my "6 pack" (once was, but not so much anymore) about 2 inches above my belly button hurt.  Just thought I'd document that.  I'm going to look back at my last pregnancy stuff and see if I mentioned any of this happening and when. 

I'll post some pictures soon.  :)

Bananas

Things that are driving me Bananas:

• Feeling restless, but having no desire to do anything productive
• Nae's patience is shrinking, she used to wait 45 seconds to a minute and a half into explaining what it was she wants before throwing a fit.  Now she doesn't even try to explain; just throws fits
• Sweets; when will they taste good again?  I figured out vanilla ice cream tastes good - yahoo!
• not having a garbage disposal: makes my drain stink, have to empty those gross food strainers and my garbage is horrific.  
• Naomi waking up at 6:30 EVERY morning since we've come back from Florida.  
• Naomi waking up once every night since we've come back from Florida.
• Christmas is still up and lights are going out on my tree; it doesn't even look kind of magical with only half randomly lit.
• Not having exercised since November.  I think I should start again....  but I just don't feel like it....  but I know I should... but I'm tired... but it would be good for me... but my hips will hurt....  (this argument happens every day)
• Food still not tasting right or very good
• Having to pee every 45 minutes
• Not washing my face at night because I'm lazy
• clenching my jaw while I sleep at night.  I think there is some grinding, too.  I wake up sore and with a massive head ache.
• My head aches!  For Heavens sake go away!  Tylenol is pansy medicine that doesn't help squat.

What you may not know, but have guessed is that I'm pregnant again!  Wahoo!  Yahoo!  Yay!  Yikes... this one has been worse than the first so far.  I'm finally (as of yesterday) not feeling so nauseous all day long and today is the first day since November that I didn't feel like I HAD to have a nap.  But I took one anyway.  I can't believe how fast my belly popped out and I had to unbutton my pants.   I kind of can't believe how long I kept it a secret.  Although, if Christmas and then our Florida trip hadn't happened during this time I don't know if I could have lasted as long without something to distract me.  I'm 15 weeks, due July 4th, but since I can't carry a baby full term I'll have it mid June.  I thought, "Oooo cool due date!"  But, it doesn't mean much when you can't make it much past 37 weeks. 

Anyway, I'll hopefully post more in the next day or so with more info.  Maybe this means I will post more?  I hope so!!!