Low Blood Sugar

Turns out that's what I've got.  Can't seem to raise it for more than a half hour at a time, though.  I am supposed to eat often.  Like every hour to hour and a half.  You'd think that wouldn't be a problem, except that food still isn't super appealing yet.  And the stuff that is isn't what would be good for a snack.  Like, hot cheetos.  Mmmmmm.....  I used to go through a bag every other day when I was pregnant with Naomi.  When I went through that phase.  I think it lasted a few weeks.  I'm trying to keep it much more reasonable this time.  Like... 1/4 of a bag a day.  Or just on the days I eat it. 

The bummer of a thing is that I've done so well with my weight this time.  Not even on purpose.  I was more sick this first trimester - not throwing up, but incredibly nauseous with all food being disgusting and forcing down every bite.  First trimester with Naomi I gained 6-8 pounds.  This one: 3.  So far I'm at a 7 pound weight gain at 17 weeks and with nae I was 5-7 pounds ahead of where I am at this point.  And, I started out 2 pounds lighter than I did with Nae.  Smaller than I was in high school.  Well, from my Jr. year and on. 

So, I'm on the hunt for low calorie snacks that I can eat often.  So far I eat a saltene cracker, slice of chedder cheese and a pickle slice on it as a snack.  Ooooohh, so good.  I have 8 of them and that gives me about a half hour of energy till I'm ready to drop again.  An apple does really well.  I've been forcing all kinds of healthy things down.  Not that I don't like healthy, because I do, but this pregnancy is just so strange. 

Good news?  We find out what we are having one week from tomorrow!  I'm excited.  Nervous.  Not expecting one or the other.  Jaren is sure it's a girl, I don't really have an opinion or an inkling one way or another.  With Nae, it was on the way to the ultrasound that I felt like it was a girl.  We'll see about this one. 

And since I'm on the computer with all of the pictures, here is a picture! 

This was taken 2 weeks ago.  So I was a few days past 15 weeks.  Huge, right?  But wait.... I'm smaller in the next picture...

Angles.   And this next one is from my first pregnancy.  This is what I mean, I think I'm showing about 2-3 weeks ahead this time. 

Huh.... I think I look more like a mom now.  But, maybe that's cause I don't do my hair as well?  Or... also cause I am?  So, I don't do my hair much.  Oh well.....

16.5 Weeks - No. 2

A few new things.  Besides feeling like my uter has decided to fall out of my abdomen and make laying on my right side uncomfortable because of gravity.
Oh wait, that's right, that's news too.  Baby is on the LEFT side this time.  Here, I thought it was on the right - tricky little nugget.  So explains that I'm still cramping.  I thought I wouldn't cramp so much or so bad since the right side had already been stretched.  But we are doing it all over again.

The cramping has picked up.  It's more often and hurts worse than I remember it hurting with Nae.

The other night, I was getting out of my Pajama pants to get into bed, and I was standing on my left leg and started feeling the pull of PSD.  A little pain.  I thought, oh crud, here it goes again.  See, I expected to have it again, but I sure hoped it would wait a bit longer to show itself.  My guess is in another month it'll hurt constantly.

It's the strangest thing.   Please tell me I'm not the only one.  It sounds weird tryin to describe it but you can only get what I'm saying if you see it in person.  And Jaren's been the only one around when it happens.  So, I'll feel a little funny sensation where the baby is. Like pressure, like something pushing on my stomach from the inside (since that is exactly what is happening).  I'll look down and there will be a huge lump.  My whole (or as much as can come out) uterus is pushing out/up against my stomach.  You can cup your hand around it and it's like holding the baby in your hand.  It's been happening more often and that's how I knew it was on the left side.  3:30 one morning when the call of the wild woke me up, I rolled onto my back and felt it, I put my hand on my tummy and woke RIGHT up - LEFT SIDE?!?!!.  In my very tired state I was scared and couldn't sleep the rest of the night.  In the morning I just realized that we just have to hope it'll stretch to at least 37 weeks like the right side did.  That's it.  No scary stuff.  And it's so nice to know it works!  So, I have 2 halves of working uteri.  And they both somehow come out of my tummy while I'm laying on my back.  It's like a buoy.  The kid isn't strong enough to push it's whole body against it to push it up.  Right?  I've just never heard anyone elses uter's rising.  But, after a little while it goes back in.  And if it's really out there and I get up or do something that flexes my muscles and forces it back - OUCH.

I felt the kid move for the first time the day before I turned 14 weeks while in Florida.  It was a tiny little flutter, but I knew it wasn't gas.  It wasn't!  And since then I'd felt it every few days, just a little flutter.  Then about a week ago I started feeling kicks.  Maybe one a day or so.  Usually when my pants were pressed up against it.  But yesterday (when I finally found chocolate tasted good again, well, dark chocolate anyway (which I don't usually care for...)) it was kicking and moving a ton!  It was really nice to feel it so well.  It was then I had my emotional experience.

I didn't realize until yesterday that I had been keeping myself as emotionally unattached to this pregnancy as possible.  I had wondered a bit why I didn't feel an overwhelming sense of attachment and connection to this fetus like I did Naomi.  With Nae it was like that from day one.  Well, even before day one, really.  When I found out I was pregnant with this one I cried and cried.  Tears of gratitude and relief.  Since finding out about my "condition" I've worried about being able to get pregnant again or being able to get pregnant again very easily (it took 2 tries with Nae).   So, when we got pregnant on the first try I was immensely grateful and relieved.  But then I was scared.  Scared of a miscarriage, which so many women have and is very common with someone with my innards.  So, I've kept myself as detached as possible so if it happened I wouldn't be as devastated as I would have otherwise.  Now, I don't think I realized this fully until yesterday.  That's why I've waited as long as I have to make the pregnancy public.  I was sitting down, changing Naomi's diaper (usually where epiphanies happen, right?) thinking about how I was finally really feeling excited about the baby.  And thinking in more detail of it and what it means and what it might be like and what it would be like when it comes and picturing my life with two kids.  I realized that I was holding so much back for fear of miscarriage and with feeling the baby move so much that fear went away.  Well, mostly.  I'm still nervous, but I'm a few days away from 17 weeks and am feeling mostly safe.  It just feels nice to feel this way again.  And to understand why I haven't been as emotionally moved (I cried about every time with Nae) when I hear the heartbeat.  It's more a feeling of relief and I say, "It's still alive!"  And you know, my ogre mood I'd been in lately has mostly dissipated.  I'm a bit more of a happier person. 

Onto one more nugget of information.  With Nae I often felt dizzy and lightheaded.  I'd stand up and immediately have to sit back down again or flop on the floor until the blood returned to my head.  Then I'd get up and get whatever I needed to get done done, but I felt better and there wasn't any lingering stuff.  I even do this sometime while not pregnant.  Mostly in the shower (we have a tiny square thing that doesn't let any steam or heat out).  Well, it was getting so bad in the shower that I was basically showering on the ground because I couldn't stand and raise my arms over my head for more than 30 seconds.  I moved to our hall shower that is a tub shower - so the heat can move out.  I haven't had bouts of "gona pass out, sit, sit sit sit!"  that were too bad.  But, the last few days I've noticed that I'm getting really tired really easy.  Not, like, I'm sleepy tired, but like, I can't lift my arms up tired.  I'll have to sit for a while, it was really hard to stand in the kitchen to make a meal.  Then yesterday all morning I couldn't take more than 10 steps without being out of breath and needing to drop to the floor or I'd pass out.  I couldn't say more than 2 sentences without leaning on the counter and breathing like I'd just sprinted for 5 minutes.  Needless to say it was a bit alarming.  We live in a split level, I could make it up the first set of stairs and halfway up the next before sitting down to catch my breath and let the blood move to my head again.  I can't lift my arms above my head without dropping to the ground till I knew I wasn't going to pass out.
We looked it up and we thought it was low blood sugar.  So, I was eating a bit more fruit and I felt better after lunch and then didn't feel so well a while after.  After my nap I ate my favorite snack of saltine crackers, cheddar cheese and pickles and felt a bit better.  Better enough to put fish sticks and tater tots on a pan for dinner.  The first time I've ever done that.  But it tasted good, so oh well.  Talking to my sister in law, Vicki, she mentioned she had iron deficiency and is taking iron supplements and felt the same way before they diagnosed it.  And now she's feeling better.  She's also expecting.
Today I've been struggling with the out of breath and getting light headed/dizzy again.  But not as severe as yesterday.  After waking up from my nap I felt especially bad. Not only super weak, but also a bit nauseous.  I grabbed applesauce (which I hate) thinking if it was low blood sugar this should take care of it.  I ate it, and nothing.  I felt more nauseous and still felt dizzy and weak.  So, then I thought, if it's iron I need meat.  I made half a sandwich (with pickles, because I can't seem to get enough - wasn't a craving I had with Nae, but Oooo so yummy now) and ate it.  Afterwards I felt like I had more energy, not as dizzy and the nausea went away.  For a while, anyway.  Seems a constant struggle.  So, I'm making an appointment tomorrow to have them take my blood and tell me what the heck is going on.  I can't live like this.  I can't carry Naomi for more than 5 steps.  I can't play with her.  I can't get anything done because I can't stand in the kitchen for more than a few minutes!  Dishes - ugh.

So, I'll post about my results tomorrow!  And yay for feeling life; exuberant kicking, wiggling life.  Yay for better moods and yay for my daughter who brings me so much joy.  And frustration.... some bad habits...  that's for another day. 

15 Weeks - No. 2

Here it comes again, another baby.  Planned?  Yes.  Excited?  Yes.  Although I've kind of reached a limbo state.  Finally starting to feel well and get a bit of energy back just as my stomach muscles are starting to hurt a little and my belly is getting big kind of faster than I thought it would be.  Not to mention the girls hurt from day one worse than I ever remember (besides clogged ducts) them hurting.  And have every second of every day since.  I can't even lay on my back for more than 30 minutes without getting up and wanting to cry a little.  Not even mentioning laying on my side.... 

Last pregnancy I didn't have headaches, it was a miracle.  Literally.  Because I get head aches for as long as I can remember.  I remember going to the nurses office in 5th grade and asking for Excedrin.  They told me they could only give me Tylenol.  Pansy medicine.....  Come to think of it... what was I doing taking Excedrin at 10?!!!  Maybe I was older...  Anyway, 4 wheeling accident at 17 and they came more often and much worse.  So, to say I had not one single one from the moment I got pregnant until I had Naomi and got a spinal one from the Spinal thingy is a miracle.  I'm not so fortunate this time.  And Tylenol does squat.  It's made it a bit less fun. 

Also making it a bit less fun is the sickness that is much worse this time around.  And exhaustion the likes I never knew possible.  Except with 5 month old babies.  Seriously, I would go to sleep at 10, Naomi wakes up at 7 a.m. (9 hours so far) and I'm still in a coma so Jaren (the sweet wonderful man that he is) takes her out, puts on a show, gives her a banana then comes in to take a shower.  I sleep for another 30 minutes to an hour with this.  So, we are up to 10 hours.  Then, about 10-10:30 I've lost any steam I built up with my 10 hour slumber.  Another show comes on and I get my pillow, tell Naomi that Mama is tired and taking a rest and get anywhere from 30-60 minutes of sleep in between having toys shoved in my face or having to switch a show.  I wake up and feel like I can run a half marathon and then about 12:30-1 p.m. I'm down again.  Thank heavens Naomi goes down for a nap just after 1.  So then, do I.  For at least 2 hours.  That's anywhere from 13-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period!  Every single day until I left to Florida on the 2nd of January and had to stay awake if I wanted to see the parks.  And for the last 2 days I haven't been so sure I even need a nap.  Although, I still feel really tired and have taken them anyway.  Still getting 8-9 hours of sleep at night. 

Onto the sickness.  With Naomi it was something that was constant, but not always horrible.  And I was able to eat and fix it.  Well, for a while, anyway.  I craved things and not all food tasted bad.  Most of it actually tasted good.  Except sweets; those were yucky.  Never threw up and it ended around the second trimester.  This time?  Really bad nausea constantly.  Food helped for about 20 minutes and then it was back.  It felt like I was on the verge of puking at any second, although I knew I wasn't.  This time I took anti-nausea drugs that helped the second they hit my tongue.  Food was disgusting.  All of it.  Nothing sounded good or tasted good.  It was maybe once a week if I was lucky that I thought, "Hey, this doesn't taste so bad!"  And then I was fighting a gag reflex with each bite.  I forced the food down because I knew I needed it and because not only was I fighting the nausea without it, but I also had hunger pains.  I didn't puke at all until some sort of super bug that was like the 24 hour flu but only 8 hours long and totally completely miserable and violent at Thanksgiving.  But I decided not to count that because it was caused by a bug, not the pregnancy.  Until last Saturday in Florida when I ate some pancakes that were so gross, but the only food I had around me super early in the morning (which is my sickest time of day).  About two hours later my body decided it didn't want that nasty tasting stuff going through my digestive system.  Lucky baby.  So, my clean record is ruined.  But, again, last 2 days I've done better.  I'm feeling hopeful.  Oh, and I have to remember to talk about my Harry Potter Land experience. 

What's different this time now that we know about my "severely bifurcated uterus"?  Knowing the baby will come at 37 weeks.  Maybe even a few days past that.  And by C-Section, which I'm not excited about, but am okay with.  The risks are too high otherwise.  And I'll have more ultrasounds (I had quite a few with Naomi, too) than normal.  I'm going to a specialist at 20 weeks in Idaho Falls with a Neonatal Specialist person from Salt Lake - one of the big hospitals there who comes down a few times a month.  A high resolution ultrasound to make sure everything is looking like the rest of the pregnancy will go okay and the delivery and the baby looks okay.  Other than that it's just the biggest relief to know this time around why I'm cramping and why things will hurt so early and so much worse than my friends.  Why the kid is always on one side and not moving and breach and everything else that doesn't fall into a normal pregnancy.  It scared me so much last time knowing things weren't normal and not knowing why.  I've been cramping this time (with nae it was constant and annoying) and it's not as often, but it's more painful when it does come.  But this time I'm not thinking I'm losing my baby every time.  I'm expecting the PSD, rib pain, cramping, pain, bed rest, ect...  I will say that I'm glad I waited as long as I did, so Naomi is older and doesn't need as much as she would have 8 months ago.  Although, going through this this time has made me think I'm waiting even longer between 2 and 3.  I need the kids older and if the next one is worse than this one....  I just need lots of time between.  I'm not expecting it to be, but I'm not going to expect it not to be either. 

My emotions have been crazy.  I'm crying over the littlest things.  Commercials, watching Naomi, watching Jaren, thinkin too much in my head.  I'm not as happy and carefree as I usually am.  At least it doesn't happen as often.  My mood swings lower more often than normal for me -since it's almost never low usually.  I can't seem to get out of the funk once it hits.  I'm just kind of mellow and blah.  I hope that goes away because I'd much rather be in a fantastic mood most of my days. 

One more thing.  I've been having a lot of low back ache/pain for the past 2 weeks or so already.  Not the best sign of things to come.  And my stomach muscles in one spot on my right side of my "6 pack" (once was, but not so much anymore) about 2 inches above my belly button hurt.  Just thought I'd document that.  I'm going to look back at my last pregnancy stuff and see if I mentioned any of this happening and when. 

I'll post some pictures soon.  :)

Bananas

Things that are driving me Bananas:

• Feeling restless, but having no desire to do anything productive
• Nae's patience is shrinking, she used to wait 45 seconds to a minute and a half into explaining what it was she wants before throwing a fit.  Now she doesn't even try to explain; just throws fits
• Sweets; when will they taste good again?  I figured out vanilla ice cream tastes good - yahoo!
• not having a garbage disposal: makes my drain stink, have to empty those gross food strainers and my garbage is horrific.  
• Naomi waking up at 6:30 EVERY morning since we've come back from Florida.  
• Naomi waking up once every night since we've come back from Florida.
• Christmas is still up and lights are going out on my tree; it doesn't even look kind of magical with only half randomly lit.
• Not having exercised since November.  I think I should start again....  but I just don't feel like it....  but I know I should... but I'm tired... but it would be good for me... but my hips will hurt....  (this argument happens every day)
• Food still not tasting right or very good
• Having to pee every 45 minutes
• Not washing my face at night because I'm lazy
• clenching my jaw while I sleep at night.  I think there is some grinding, too.  I wake up sore and with a massive head ache.
• My head aches!  For Heavens sake go away!  Tylenol is pansy medicine that doesn't help squat.

What you may not know, but have guessed is that I'm pregnant again!  Wahoo!  Yahoo!  Yay!  Yikes... this one has been worse than the first so far.  I'm finally (as of yesterday) not feeling so nauseous all day long and today is the first day since November that I didn't feel like I HAD to have a nap.  But I took one anyway.  I can't believe how fast my belly popped out and I had to unbutton my pants.   I kind of can't believe how long I kept it a secret.  Although, if Christmas and then our Florida trip hadn't happened during this time I don't know if I could have lasted as long without something to distract me.  I'm 15 weeks, due July 4th, but since I can't carry a baby full term I'll have it mid June.  I thought, "Oooo cool due date!"  But, it doesn't mean much when you can't make it much past 37 weeks. 

Anyway, I'll hopefully post more in the next day or so with more info.  Maybe this means I will post more?  I hope so!!!