Monday, June 29, 2009

Sometimes

I feel a lot like this:

Girls Camp Snake

A little, probably 10 or 11 year old boy and one of my girls caught this rather large gardner snake. I believe it's a Bull Snake? Or something like that?

Well, we had to take pictures.

3 of my Young Women girls
This is the one who helped the boy catch the snake.I couldn't wait for Jaren to see this picture. As I am horrified of spiders, he is even more scared of snakes. I wasn't dissapointed. Squirming away from the camera and then yelling ensued. "What were you thinking?! HOLDING the snake?!?! And your pregnant!!!! No!!" :) I'm not scared. Well, unless they bite or are poisoness.
The second I grabbed him he wrapped around my arm rather tightly.... I think he was a bit annoyed. He had been passed around about 4 times before this. Needless to say, I was the last one that held him.






Friday, June 26, 2009

Tribute to Michael Jackson

I was sitting so innocently in a tent with quite a few of my Young Women girls when one of them came running through camp screaming, "I just got reception and someone sent me at text! Michael Jackson is dead!!" I jumped up and (rather limberly, I might add, for a big bellied pregnant lady) ran out of the tent asking, "What?! How?! When?!" She said, "I don't know." And walked off.

I was stunned and very, very sad. Not to mention that when I turned around half the girls were like, "Who is Michael Jackson?" WHAT?! I tried to let them know of the gravity of this situation - he is the best pop artist ever. He invented the moon walk ("HE DID?!!!!" THAT got their attention) I started singing all sorts of songs by him and the Jackson 5 and they recognized quite a few.

I got to thinking about him and I. My relationship throughout my life with this man. Which let me tell you, started at a very young age. I feel I need to pay tribute through a letter:

My Very First Ever True Love;

Before you were called Jacko. Before you changed from black to white. Before your nose shrunk to some cartilage. Before you decided you would rather build an entire theme park for no one to enjoy but yourself than make more amazing music, you were my love.

One of the first memories I have is of my 3 or 4 year old self dancing in my living room to your music.

Remember the time my mom came downstairs with the video camera and caught us? You, on the TV groovin and singing and me, on the 2 foot high circle table dancing like it was a stage and singing my 5 year old heart out to Smooth Criminal(still my favorite song of yours). I'm so glad she snuck up on us - such a tender memory.

You even helped me reach new heights. I was told that if you wanted to swing high on the swings to just close your eyes and think of things that make you the most happy. I would close my eyes and swing as best I could. I would imagine we would finally be united. And when I opened them, I was the highest swinging 5 year old on the playground.

It wasn't until I was dancing on my bed in my room by myself that it dawned on me. You were too old for me. My mom's age. That HAS to be too old for me, right?! I was devistated upon this understanding. It meant no future of finding you and falling madly and deeply in love - but see, you would have to be the one falling in love, because I was already in love. I cried and cried and cried. I will never forget that moment. I was also 5.

And when your music video to Black or White came out - I watched and watched and stared and stared. I was so amazed at your talent of turning people into other people and people into animals. I just knew you were a magnificant star. I knew no one else who could do those things with just some tunes and a smooth voice.

So on went my life - singing and dancing and loving you. I watched your little movies and your super long videos and taped them and re watched them. I professed my undying love for you to all of my friends. I tried and tried to moonwalk, but I just was never as amazing as you.

I never forgot our love. I grew more quiet and subdued about it, but I never abandoned your music. Because it was the only thing we still had. Because... you just kept getting older. And as I got older, you got a little more strange.

Even when people started to doubt and turn away from your side - I always stayed firm, "I don't care what people say, I still like him. He made amazing music." Never did I ever find out if the accusations were true or not and really, I still don't care. Your music is amazing.

In high school I danced infront of the whole school to a 2 and a half minute compliation of a few of your songs. I even had a glittery glove.

I cannot believe I never bought one of your original albums. I did, however, buy a 2 disc set of your greatest hits. I have also always had the intention of buying every single song you have ever recorded. It's really too bad that day is today - because my thoughts have been brought about to you again.

I am grateful for gomusic, though. Because I'm downloading every single song for only 9 cents per song. But don't worry, MJ, you are worth so much more to me than that. And someday, when the price drops more than the 70 dollars ($130) to 60 bucks on your complete DVD set (with music videos, movies and live recordings) - I will buy it and watch it. A lot.

I'm having a little girl in a few months. And I will also have you do for her, what you did for me. She will dance from the day she can toddle to your sweet voice. And I will show her your sweet moves and she will learn of your greatness.

I was also planning on going to your upcoming tour. It was always a dream of mine to see you live. Jaren doesn't believe that I would have paid and went. But, oh, I would have.

So, I am truly saddened by your early, early departure from this Earth. I had earnest high hopes that you would make a comback, similar to Britney Spears, and become mostly normal and make some more amazing music. I never gave up, MJ.

You will always own my 5 year old heart,



I really am sad about this. Everything I wrote is true. I am, however excited to hear songs I've never heard before and discover more of his amazing music. It's really too bad. He was 50! So young. And I really did believe he would somehow make a comback. I hope nobody forgets the impact he made on music because as many as will try, there will never be someone like him again.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

21 Weeks

First - thank you everyone for giving me your email so I can add you to the private blog we will start once the kid is born. Again, I'm keeping this one up and running - it will just have less of her. I know some of you were reading and are a bit shy to let us know - thank you for sending your email, I would love for you to keep reading and you will be added! If you have no idea what I'm talking about - refer to this post.

This week has been interesting. It had been a few weeks since I had exercised daily and I think it was taking a negative toll on my body. My back hurt worse and I was very VERY tired. So I went 4 days in a row and even after the first day I started to feel better. I've noticed that there are some days I don't even need a nap. It's nice! I get a bit more done because I have a bit of energy and I can't stand sitting on the couch ALL day - so I get off it. On days I get a nap I usually sleep for 1 1/2 - 2 hours so it takes up a big chunk of the day and I don't get as much done. My back doesn't hurt all day - just seems to at night. And it's mostly the right side deep under my pelvis.

My wedding ring - this I cannot wear while I sleep, shower, or exercise because my fingers swell. Well, they don't swell in the shower - I just prefer it off. So, I knew that my fingers would probably get fat and I wouldn't be able to wear it. I just figured it would happen near the END of my pregnancy (why do all these things that I thought happened at 7 months seem to be happening at 5?!). I can still wear it - it just get's a bit snug when I'm hot, which unfortunately has been happening quite a bit lately. It's not a big deal to not wear the ring - especially here. In Rexburg - if your a pregnant woman and you don't look 16 and you don't have a wedding ring - everyone still knows your married and your fingers are just too fat. But elsewhere - not so much. And I like being married! Jaren thinks it's funny I feel this way. He says, "You know your married - isn't that good enough?" No!! I don't want to look like an unwed teenager that got knocked up! Because, I really do still get mistaken for 17 (and I'm 23 next month). It just needs to be able to squeeze on til mid August. That's my last trip away from home where I feel the need to look married. I know it's silly - but I really really really really like my wedding ring. Jaren says he'll get it sized bigger for me. But then we'd have to fix it again in a few months after I have her and the sausages that are my fingers un-swell themselves. Which isn't something I want to do. I'm thinking of going to J.C. Penny where they have those $25 dollar abnormally huge fake rock rings. I'll get one and it will make me feel better. :) I'll post a picture of my alternate when I get one.

My appetite has come back! I say that with both excitement and dread. Excitement because things are finally tasting good again and dread because now I want to eat - EVERYTHING - all the time. It's not constant, but one night it was horrible. I wanted chicken nuggets - so I had a 10 peice and some fries (Wendy's fries are the best tasting things, let me tell you). Not even 15 mintues went by when I decided I wanted hot cheetos. Jaren talked me out of it for another 15 - but oh how I WANTED them!! It's not like those cravings you get when you think - Mmm, I need chocolate - or ice cream or pizza. No, this is like it's all I can think about, I can't sit still I neeeeeeed it! So, he let me grab a handful. And that's all I needed! But then, an hour later - I wanted brownie batter. I don't know if anyone remembers this post - but if you do, you will know this is something I do a few times a year. I tried when I was in my first trimester and it didn't taste right! It was so sad - I was really, really sad. But here I was wanting it again! So, again, Jaren tried to talk me out of it - since it was 9:30, but after seeing me writhe in agony for 10 minutes on the couch and floor he said - OKAY, go make yourself some brownie batter. So I did - and it was glorious!! So tastey and then I made the rest and Jaren ate 90% of those over the next few days :) After I ate it - I felt completely satisfied. I felt guilty about the calorie content of everything I ate, but I had no more cravings. And I haven't had any that strong since. Which I am grateful, because I don't think I can handle another night like that more than once every other week or so. Because even though I was enjoying it - I knew it was not the most nutritous and it would help add to the obsene amount of weight I feel I'm gaining. So I felt guilty.

As for the little girl who likes to roll and karate kick in my tummy - she is a happy camper, I believe. I feed her lots and I spread out so she isn't confined, because any type of bending is fast becoming quite painful. I can't even stretch while I'm laying down. You know, like when your on your side and you arch your back - nope - HURTS. Darn muscles and ligaments. She is definitly getting stronger. But every single time I feel her move or kick; I smile. Especially since I've been told that laying on your back can cut off their blood supply and kill them - SCARY. So when I wake up in the morning and she moves or head butts me I sigh, smile and say, "Oh good, I haven't killed you, your still alive." Because I used to HATE sleeping on my back. It was so uncomfortable! But now? Since I've been pregnant I wake up to find myself on my back all the time! But it feels so nice. So I don't sleep well because I'm so consious of my movements. Do you know how far along you have to be for that to happen? Uhg. I worry about so much more now.

Jaren is so funny. He thinks that if I'm cold - she is. Or if i'm hot - she is. Or if I'm hungry - she is. I try to tell him that she's got quite the kush life going on. Floating around in warm amniotic fluid, moving around all she wants, getting fed so she is never hungry, peeing whenever she wants wherever she wants. She is more protected and comfortable than I am. "You don't have to do that - your pregnant" Like it has made me handicapped. I feel useless a lot of the time. And a lot of the time - I am. I'm hoping I can get a bit more motivation and energy soon so I can get stuff done!

That's all for this week - the next 2 Tuesdays I'll be in Michigan - so hopefully I can keep up to date.

21 weeks:

2 pictures - one with hand on belly, one without.
I'm rather sunburnt, if you can tell. I've been at Green Canyon all day with my girls for girls camp and sat in a chair reading Harry Potter for a bit(cause I'm trying to get through the 6th before the movie - probably wont happen since I'm only half way through the second right now).


(I'm tired too)And this is one of my flower pots. I'm so proud. I love to just look at them. This is the third spring we have been in this house and before I was in school and didn't have time to do anything. But this summer we have a few pots with some flowers in them! The house still looks a bit sparse, but we are making progress.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Private Or Not?

This has been an ongoing discussion in our household for almost a year now. I compromised by changing my blog address and taking out our last name last fall. That has appeased until recently.

My wonderful husband worries about the whole world being able to see our lives. I really don't feel like we are interesting enough for the whole world.

I feel that it is my fault that the subject has been brought up again in the last few weeks. I've noticed that on day's I post I have anywhere from 100-150 people reading; which to me - is flattering. But to Jaren? Terrifying. He just see's tons of strangers. I know that majority of the people reading are family and friends. People who don't like to comment or are too shy to comment so we know they are there.

So, I would mention random places over the globe that I thought was interesting. Or google searches that brought up our blog. Each time he would say, "Do you want to go private?" Or, "When the baby comes, can we please go private?" It doesn't make me nervous, but it does him.

My issue with this is that I think there is a lot of family and friends who read, but don't let us know they are there. And we go private and they lose that connect with our lives.

Well, today I think the line was drawn. He has some friends who have had a terrible experience by posting pictures of their baby. I married a very, very private person, if you haven't noticed already. So this, to him, is re-justifying what he has wanted all along - privacy. He knows blogging is good for me - the connections I've made have been wonderful. I've made some really really good friends from this that I think will be around for quite some time. This is also something I really enjoy doing.

So, we talked about it and I am going to make a new blog that will have lots of pictures and stories and I can post whatever I want - but it will be private. I think I'll get it all set up in the next few months, but the whole point of it will be for family and friends to see what is going on with our little girl and us. I will keep this blog and will still post some pictures and stories, but it will all be pretty generic and safe.

The point of this post is to let everyone know that once I have this baby there wont be a ton of her in this blog - but the private blog will pretty much be all her. I am willing to add anyone who wants to be added to view it. Of course either one of us will need to know you somehow - but please, let me know. We want to keep family and friends updated on our lives and our growing family is the biggest part of it. And in Jaren's words, "I'm just worried about the safety of my two girls." So, this is calming his troubled heart. Which I want to do.

What to do?
You can either leave a comment in this post with your email address or send me an email to whitneykathleen at gmail dot com. If you have been reading and want to be a part of the new blog and we know you but your a little shy to let us know your reading, it's fine, send me an email, we don't mind!

This blog will still be up and running even after the private blog is started. Just less info about the family as a whole.

Why I love to blog:
I have found a lot of joy going back and re reading my posts. I forget about some things and I definitly forget exactly how I'm feeling during certain events. This is why my posts have gotten longer and a bit more detailed. I want to document our lives and this is the best way. I also keep a private journal, but I update this a little more. I'm going to start getting each year made into a book and it will be a sort of journal/scrapbook. I have noticed that since I've been pregnant my mind is leaving me. My memory especially. So I'm trying to keep up to date on events so I will remember. So I don't mind making an entire blog for our kids. It will just make for another book just for them :)


Saturday, June 20, 2009

Pictures of Nephews and A Neice

Warning!
A LOT of pictures of a 3 month old, 4 month old and a 2 year old. Very cute and very much my family.

I really went a little nuts. I am learning how to use this editing program - although with all of these pictures I only did 3 or 4 things to them

Up first is my nephew Conner. He is Nathan (number 3 of 5 in my family (i'm number 4)) and Stephanie's first and only at the moment. These are very late seeing as I took them a month ago when I went to visit them in May. His hair is longer and more fuzzy and of course, he is getting cuter every day. He is such a happy content little boy - he loves to be laid on the floor so he can just flail his arms and legs around and talk and giggle. I hope I have a kid as happy as these!

I noticed these little toes the first day I saw him while he was home from the hospital. I think it's the cutest most funny thing I've ever seen on a baby. We couldn't figure out where he got them from or if it was normal or if he would have crooked toes his whole life. But, on a recent trip of Nathan and Steph back home to Washington Stephanie found in Nathan's baby pictures a picture of his feet and they looked exactly like this. And his toes are normally spaced today - so we now know they are from his daddy and he will grow out of them :) But for now... so stinkin cute.

My favorite part is the little piece of lint inbetween his right big toe and other pointer(?) toe. So dramatic
I couldn't resist. How could you not? Such a cute little baby bum peeking out from his diaper.
I love this profile picture. Such cute chubby cheeks.
So I did it in black and white as well

Chubby thighs! These are only this cute on babies :)

The many faces of Conner:Different picture in different finish

Neither parent has red hair - but somehow he has a tint of it. He was very distracted by my camera. But when I looked head on into the lens - so would I!

With his Mommy:
He's got the snarling down already! Or the Elvis Presley lip curl.
With me:
With his Daddy:
Same picture - black and white
Next up is Lucy (4 months). She is Kevin (2nd out of the 5 siblings in my family) and Lena's second, but first girl.
I didn't get nearly as many pictures as I would have liked of her. She is such a smiley happy girl. I would be talking to Lena and then look down at Lucy and she would just be grinning at me like she thought I was saying the funniest stuff. It was awfully cute. She smiles at everyone and anyone - such a fun disposition!
She was just grinning for me. I took a few pictures and she just posed. I wish I had had her under the shade so there wasn't a two tone thing going on. Someday, when I learn how to do black and white then leave something colored, I'll leave her pink flower colored and it will look awesome.
Her smile is so infectious! And she has this amazing hair that stands strait up. No matter what you do.

I love this picture because her mommy is looking at her. I think it's sweet.
Same picture - black and white
Now we have Isak (2 years old). Kevin and Lena's first and oldest. This boy is very very energetic. He has the most energy I've ever seen. He is such a sweetheart - he is constantly giving his little sister hugs and kisses and makes the "Ohhhh" sound as he does so :)

When we went to the pool he had his life jacket on and there was a large patio type ledge thing that was maybe a foot deep? He would throw himself into it and then scoot himself back till he found the steps down and just float there, drink some water, then get back up and do it all over again. It was very entertaining. He sure liked the pool water...... not a whole lot we could do to stop him :)

A day at the park with Isak:
I ran around chasing this boy throwing my camera in his face to try to get a smile. He is so shy that when he smiles he turns his head into his shoulder. And of course, you put the camera up and he get's even more blushy. Overall, I'm very happy with the pictures I got. I love all of the different colors with the tree's, water, and toys.

Such a little stud.
Don't think it matters how tough you think you are. You see the sippy and want to pinch his cheeks.
There is so much red and blue in this picture. It's so vibrant!
He got a wood chip in his shoe and dropped right to the ground to get it out. Then had me help him put his shoe back on.
This is probably my favorite picture. I was lucky to get it. His mom was turning a toy with marbles in it and he was fascinated.

I really like this one, too. I love the colors of the toys!
So of course I did one without the colors, because the boy is what is most cute :)
"Isak! Smile!"
This was a big water fountain thing with a huge spurting thing. I couldn't get too close for fear of the water and my camera, but he loved it. He's a water boy. He looks so much like his daddy.
Isak during a thunder storm:

There was a massive thunder and lightning storm in Boise while I was there. Isak and I were in the backyard when it started. The first thing we heard was the thunder. He would very loudly go, "OOOOOooooOooooOOO!!!" and point up and run out under the sky and start playing. I've NEVER seen a toddler so unafraid before. Then the lightning started and he was SMILING and laughing and wanted to play! The rain started and he couldn't figure out why I wanted to go inside. haha, I had to go inside and leave the door open. He was out playing and laughing for about 3 minutes then he came in. I did open the front door to show him the rain and a butterfly that was hiding on one of their pillars. He LOVED IT! As you can see from this picture.
He was truly happy and excited. It was awfully cute. I probably shouldn't have been such a scardy and took him out in it. But the rain was falling SO HARD!

Same picture in black and white

I spent over 2 hours editing these pictures. It was so much fun. A huge reason I did this was so both Lena and Steph can save these pictures to their computer from my blog. If not - let me know and I'll send you a disc. It was so much fun visiting them and playing with their kids. It really really makes me so excited about starting my own family. I can't wait to see what this little girl looks like and what type of personality she has. She will have so much fun with her cousins!

In two weeks I'm going to Michigan to visit my oldest brother, his wife and their two kids. They are expecting a little boy 6 weeks before us. And I'm very excited to take lots more pictures!! It's so much fun seeing what editing does to make the pictures look nicer. My favorite thing is the blending brush. Isak had fudgecicle all over his face in the above picture - it's gone! :D

I feel very fortunate to have such a big wonderful family. I'm adding grandchild number 7 to this big growing lot. My little girl will be the third girl against 4 boys. My little sister can take her time adding to the masses :) This is why I want a big family. I LOVE mine. It will take some convincing of Jaren to have 4 or 5, but I'm all for it. I love babies, I love children, I love to be surrounded by family. Just hope I don't have any hellians that will deter me from my large number. She/he can come last :)