Currently, In the Life of Whitney

I am now 25 as of yesterday.  I feel so grown up.  I can rent a car all by myself!  Last year I had to have my brother in law put his name on it because I wasn't old enough.  Although, I'd been married for over 3 years and had a kid and had the money to pay for it.  I felt silly.  But now, I'm bound no more!  I'm free to go anywhere I want!  Well... almost anywhere.  And if Jaren's with me it never would matter since he's been a grown up for lots longer than I.  Although, he's leaving his 20's this year and he seems to be taking it personally.  So anytime I mention feeling old I get quite this withering look.... 

I've also been training for a half marathon that's coming end of this month.  The training was going well until about 2 weeks ago.  Each run started to feel like it was dragging and felt difficult.  I bought new shoes and they really aren't agreeing with my feet.  I have blisters on each of my fourth toes (the one's next to the pinky's).  Right on the outside.  Painful.  A new blister on the insole of my left foot, an ankle that hurts and now after each run my KNEE'S hurt.  They used to not bug me so much.  And it feels like I'm just pulling  and pulling myself along.  It's discouraging.  Friday I did 11 miles in 80 degree's and it feel terrible.  My time was HORRIBLE and I didn't enjoy it.  Now, that's not what I signed up for.  But texting my sister in law, the marathoner, Lena, mentioned I might be burning out.  I realized I've been pushing myself quite a bit for quite a while.  I think I need to cool it for this week.  So, I'm going to try to do 5 miles 3 times, then a 10 mile Friday instead of 5, 6, 7, and then 12 like I had planned.  I hope it works.  I want to enjoy my runs and enjoy this half marathon.  Good luck to me.

Naomi is hilarious.  I need to video and take millions of pictures because I think anyone struggling to find happiness in life just needs a toddler.  Well, I guess a toddler and a massive dose of patience.  Because she can test mine quite a bit.  But, it seems every day she is doing something more and more funny.  Like waking up and saying, "Help!  Help!" over and over from her crib thinking that will get me in there faster.  Or holding her fork in her mouth, then stabbing it down into her food trying to spear it using no hands.  Or putting 15 animals on a little people train (I took pictures, they'll come someday - it's quite impressive).  Or making everything kiss.  A vulture and a seal, a bulldozer and a garbage truck, a puppy dog and a bunny.  Or, yelling, "POO! POO!"  around the house.  Repeating what we say, "I do."  "Cute."  "Stinky!"  "Alright"  "Otay"  Dancing and sitting on animals and jumping and scooting on her bum.  The other day she was looking at a Disney Princess book and pointed to Belle and said, "Mama"  I was like, "Ohh, that's so sweet, thinking I'm Belle"  I was just telling her how she would be my favorite always when she turned the page and pointed to Sleeping Beauties Fairy Godmother and said, "Mama"  Well...  then she turned the page again and pointed to the crocodile on Princess Tiana's page and said, "Mama" and LAUGHED.  Alright, she lost it.  Then she looks at me, smiles and says, "Ow whow"  Which is , "Love you".  So, I forgave her.  As long as she doesn't call the crocodile Mama again.

This week I'm trying to do 637 things before I take off to Washington for our mostly annual Oregon Beach trip.  This will be the first uber long drive with Naomi.  9 hours without stops (so, 10.5-11 with them) the first day.  Then a few days later 7 hours without stops (so, probably 9 with them) to the beach.  Then 7 hours back to Washington some days later, then I'll split the trip home (by myself) by stopping in Boise, then heading the rest of the way home (by myself) the next day.  All in all I'll be gone for almost 2 and a half weeks.  We still don't know if Jaren can join us at the Beach.  I sure hope so, because that's a long time for him not to see his baby.  Or babies.... :)

But I'm really excited about spending so much time with family.  And nervous because Naomi seems to have some sort of phobia of children.  Not all children, but lots.  And people she doesn't know.  I'm hoping this will break her of it, because it drives me CRAZY bonker bananas. 

Oh, good news is she eats EVERYTHING.  She'll at least try everything and eats just about all of it.  She tried broccoli yesterday and seemed unsure of it, but still took a few bites anyway.  She still wont touch dolls or anything girly except necklaces and chapstick.  She loves anything with wheels and animals.  Hard or stuffed.  Mostly stuffed dogs.  Still loves Dora, Bubble Guppies, Baby Signing Time and her favorite song will probably always be Wheels on the Bus.  Oh, and I'm her favorite person.  Still :)  I kind of love it.  And I don't think I'll ever teach her the word, "Mom."  I like the sound of, "Mama" too much.  I hope she's 16 and says, "Mama, can you make spaghetti tonight?"  Or, "Mama, Jameraqui asked me on a date Friday, can I go?"  Or, "You know hot pants went out of style in the 90's, MAMA" 

One thing that's nice about burning hundreds and sometimes thousands of calories 4-5 times a week is that I eat whatever I want and I never gain more than a few ounces, only to lose them the days I run.  But I still can't figure out why I still have more stuff in the love handle region now than I did before I had Naomi and I'm running like a crazy person.  I'm just hoping that someday I can find a way to get that to go away.  Probably not till after the next kid.  Oh, and no babies coming anytime soon.  We keep decide to wait to start trying.  Lots of different things.  I just hope they are less than 3 years apart.  We'll see, though.  Can't say I'm too disappointed when I have a headache that makes me want to bury myself in a glacier and I can take Excedrin.  Like today.  Which is why I'm writing this, because I'm mad hopped up on caffeine.  And now I'm off to switch and fold laundry. 

Toodaloo! 

Don't Start With Me

Ooo I'm in a mood.  .  

Just a whiny exasperated mood.  There are no roses in this post.  No shiny happy people.  No sunny beaches.  No hot bubble baths with a good book.  No wonderful date nights with your husband.

Dangit.

My day started off alright.  Planned on going into town so I could run on some hills since the 10K on hills kicked my trash and I died.  And I don't want to die in August when I run a half marathon where there are still lots of hills. 

I planned on starting around 8:30-9 a.m.  You know, before it got too hot.  Well, I didn't get to my sister's apartment till almost 10, then she talked to me for 15-20 minutes and finally I was able to get started.  And by that time it was at least 10:30 or something.  I don't know.  I didn't look at the dumb clock.

Picture this:  80 degree's, no wind, not a cloud in sight, I know some of you are drooling and getting out the mental boat to put in the mental lake to do some mental wake boarding.  Well, put the darn boat back on the mental ramp and park it will ya?  Because I ran 8 bloody (is that a swear word?  I keep hearing it might be across the pond, but I like the sound of it.  I guess I could say something like...  smelly, or itchy or caboodley, or fanninnilily, or cotton-pickin (from Elf, eh?)) miles, with 6 of them being on hillyness and I died.

That's right, I'm not really here, I died.  Whitney, who would have been 25 at the end of this month died. 

Ok, then I came back to life.  But really, I hit about 7 1/2 miles and decided I've never felt so incredibly drained ever. 

Picture this:  a girl in a purple tank top jogging, red faced, looking like she's giving her all, then from behind comes a woman walking, pushing a double stroller with a baby on her back and a kid hanging on each leg and she passes the purple tank top, then does one last look back before she is out the front of the screen. 

That was me the last half mile.  Your grandma could have waddled past me, but I was sure not gonna stop jogging! 

So, I stagger up to Lindsey's door and I lightly knock (because my brother in law is sleeping).  No answer, I try the handle - nothing.  I knock a little louder.  Nothing.  I knock louder.  Nothing.  I yell through the door "OPEN UP!  I'M DDDYYYYIIIINNNGGG!!!!"  (I'm not making this up).  Nothing.  I walk to the window, bang on that.  Nothing.  I walk back to the door, "Lindsey!  I need water!!! I'm DYYIIINNNGGG!!!"  Nothing.  So then, I look at the parking lot, because I swear I saw her car.  There it is.. and.. wait... why is my car so far away?   Why is Lindsey's car so far away?  And Nate's?  Ohh... wait a minute. 

WRONG BUILDING.

See?  Heat stroke or something.  Delusional.  I went to the wrong building.  I waddle to Lindsey's door, lightly tap at the door and 2 seconds later the door opens and Linds says, "I didn't even lock it after you left."

So I stumble in, drink 3 gallons of water, eat one of her bananas, steal a gatorade, use her face wash, change and head back out the door.

I had a million errands to run.  One of which was picking out paint to paint my upstairs.  Now, my feet are killing me from the run and since I died and came back to life my left eye is twitching and so I enlist the help of my interior designer sister-in-law who has a paint-color-wheel thing and we figure out which color to do the entire upstairs and which color to do my one accent wall.  The guys were taking fooorrever mixing my paint.  So I say, "Hey, I'm going to run to Big 5 real quick, I'll be right back."  Ok, they say.  So I go buy my yellow version of the purple tank I was running in because it's my new favorite piece of exercise clothing and one is not enough. 

I come back to Ace, and see one of my paint cans sitting on the counter and the other wasn't.  So I wait, someone comes by, asks if I need anything.  I tell him I need paint can number two, he finds it in the mixer and I say thank you Mr. Kind Sir and pay and leave.

So, I'm just plum spent.

I get home, unload, thank my Mother in Law for watching my nugget, and then the nugget get's a little fiesty later and I'm just plum spent.  Jaren's not home,  feels like he never is these days (oh, wait, it's 10 p.m. and he STILL isn't home.)  I haven't showered, I feel disgusting, my feet hurt, my left eye is still twitching from my near death experience and Naomi is throwing things.  From behind.  She get's quite the distance covered that way, let me tell you. 

Jaren came home around 6:30, I made dinner, we ate, he said, "go take a shower, honey.  You really stink.  And would you do something about that left eye twitch?  It's really unattractive."  So, he takes Naomi down stairs and I shower and I'm done, and Naomi wants to sit on my lap while I try to pluck my eye brows and Jaren says, "Well, this has been fun, I've got to go check water or something.  See you all later."  So he leaves me juggling tweezers and a wiley little nugget. 

I get her ready for bed, put her down and this whole time I have a massive pounding head ache - I'm convinced it's from heat stroke.  Or the near death experience.  Or both.  Along with the eye twitch. 

So, she's down at 7:30 - HALLELUJAH!  I don't remember the last time I put her to bed that early.  But I'll just say that because of it, my eye stopped twitching.

So, I get ambitious, pull out the paint cans, open one, paint a square on my accent wall.  Open the other and - WAIT ONE COTTON PICKIN MINUTE!!!!  It wasn't MIXED!!  Those fanninnilily boys thought that when I walked away, they could too!  Without mixin my paint!  UUUUGGGH.  So, I have to mix my self, do I?  So... I do.  But it wasn't any fun, let me tell you.  Walkin around shakin a thing, talking on the phone to my sister-in-law.  Rollin the can on the floor, it get's away from me and slams into my shin.  I have a bruise.  Itchy can. 

I finally get it mixed, I put it on the wall - look at the accent wall and what?!  Wait one caboodley minute!  The accent square is cobalt blue!!  Or maybe it just looks that way because of the brown walls next to it and under it?  Oh man, I don't know.  All I know is I can't have a cobalt accent wall.  Can't wait to hear what Jaren says when he see's I desecrated his wall. 

So, I need to find a different color for my accent wall - I like the one on my other wall.  I have to tape my entire upstairs, get Jaren to caulk along the ceiling because it's not been done in the over 4 years we've lived in the house and I'm tired of lookin like a hillbilly. 

And.  HE IS STILL NOT HOME.  It's been this way since April.  He's got more ground he's running and is trying to get that running like all of the rest of it.  There are lots of break downs everywhere, I get it.  I get the why, but I'm starting not to care.  There get's to be a point where I'm tired of being a single mom and tired of Naomi going 3-4 days a week not seeing her Dad at all.  And I'm in a mood.  And I died today.  And my left eye finally stopped twitching.  And I have a cobalt square on my accent wall.  And my feet feel 73 years old.  And I have a sunburn on my neck.  ONLY MY NECK.  And my bedroom is a mess.  And my bathroom is a mess.  And I'm tired.  And Jaren isn't home. 

And he gave everyone the day off.  He says, "It'll only be 6 hours out of the day.  Instead of... 14."  Oh.  Fantastic. Yeah, I know, someone has to do it - why not the boss?  Look, I'll feel better tomorrow and I'm so grateful for all he does for us and everything we have because of all of his hard work.  But I miss him.  And Naomi misses him.  And so when I'm in a mood - like today - I just don't care and I just want him home.  Dangit.

This is the end of my giant rant.  Tune in next time for shiny happy people.

Half Marathon VS. 10K

I ran in the Teton Dam Marathons 10K last Saturday.  Remember last year?  I did the half marathon and enjoyed it quite a bit.  I had also been running for five months previous and spent 2 and half of that officially training.  I was totally prepared.  And I laugh at how I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to do it.

This year, I waited too long to start training.  Well, running again because the saddest thing is that I hadn't run for more than 3 weeks strait at a time since I finished that Half Marathon last year.  April rolled around and I kept thinking.. one year ago I was running 6 miles without stopping.  Then May rolled around and I thought... one year ago I was running 8 or 9 miles without stopping.  It was depressing.  But, I put off running because I kept thinking, I might be pregnant by June and running would be much harder.  So I didn't get myself out the door to run. 

Well, beginning of May came around and Chelsey, one of my friends asked me to run the Teton Dam 10K with her.  By that time we had already decided to continue waiting to start trying, so I knew I wouldn't be pregnant.  So, I started running again.  I had only been running for four weeks by the time last saturday rolled around.  What's amazing, is that 2 weeks before the race I was running and had meant to run 4 miles and felt so good I ran 5 and a half.  I was so happy that my body jumped right back into it.  Then Monday happened (Memorial Day) and I ran 3 miles and felt like poo.  Wednesday, felt even worse - Thursday same thing.  By that time my throat had started killing so I knew I was sick. 

I never kicked the cold/sore throat (Strep? who knows) by the time the race was and so I ran that 10K (4 miles up hill and only 2 flat/downhill) and didn't enjoy it.  I mean... I enjoyed it, I find I really enjoy a race although, I'm not really racing anyone, my goal is to run the whole thing without stopping and hit around a 10 minute mile. 

The results?  Last year I ran 13.1 miles with a 10.14 minute mile.  This time it was 10.21 minute mile!  What the?!  I ran less than half the distance and it took longer!!!  I realized that I need to do better training, run for more than 4 weeks before a race, RUN HILLS and do interval stuff. 

How did I feel?  Like poo.  I wished I had gone to the doctor the first morning I woke up with my throat in shreds and my voice gone.  I enjoyed the experience but after I crossed that finish line I didn't not feel the euphoria I did last year.  Last year I was inexpressibly happy and felt so good that I had accomplished that.  I was ready to do it again the next weekend.  I smiled the whole day.  This year I was like, "Oh, so glad that's over."  

Lesson learned:  Train, intervals, hills and DON'T GET SICK. 

I also decided that barring I'm not too pregnant or haven't just barely had a baby I will run in that race every year.  Even if I am 8 weeks postpartum and only do the 5K.   Although, they give you the really nice running shirts if you run in the half or the full.  If you do anything else you just get a cotton T-Shirt.  So, I'm aiming for the half if not the full (someday) every time so I can get the nice running shirts every time! 

Here are some last years and this years:

Last year this was the picture soonest to the finish line.  Jaren showed up about 15 minutes after I was done...

This year:  So he made sure to be there super early this time!

This Year: (since I didn't have any of him right after wards last year, here is this years)

This year:  Lindsey came!!!

Last Year:  I got a medal!  I think they only go to the Half and Full Marathoners, because I didn't get one this year. 

 

This Year:  no metal :(

 Last Year:  Number

This Year:  Number (last years was green (for halfers) this year was orange (for the 10K)

 

Last Year:  Family Picture!

 This Year:  Family!

 Last Year:  The Nugget

 This Year:  The Nugget!

 I just want to leave you with a picture of the year 2030's most beautiful woman in the world.

She's watching Dora :) 

Grateful

Tomorrow Jaren and I are driving to Washington to go to my Grandpa's funeral.  I feel like my thoughts and feelings are all over the place.  Losing my Grandma a year ago was incredibly hard.  Not that I ever worry about where she is, because she's better off than me, that's for sure.  But I just miss her.  And it was sad for what my Dad lost and what my Grandpa lost.

When I was 10 my Grandpa (my Mom's Dad) passed away very suddenly to cancer.  We found out one day and a few weeks later he was gone.  I don't remember a lot about him.  I was young, and a girl and he loved to fly fish and took my brother, Nathan out all the time.  I don't feel like I ever got to know him - but most of those things are supposed to come later.  Right?  What kind of a conversation could he have had with a 10 year old little girl?  I'll tell you what, especially from me, "I really like Bobby, but he likes Vanessa and I just can't figure it out because we are MADE for each other!!"

When I was 9 my Grandpa (Dad's Dad) had a severe stroke.  It left him having to learn how to eat, drive, talk and do just about everything again.  Even though I don't feel like I really got to know him (more than his mental capacity could allow) either I am so grateful he didn't die then.  Because the memories I have of growing up and going to their house are wonderful.  He was always so excited to see me and ALWAYS remembered me.  Even when I went away to college or came back huge (dramatically different than any pictures) pregnant.  He had to have at least 2 hugs and made me kiss each cheek :)  I would sit and listen to him tell me about "the boys"  and "the cows"  and anything else that was going on with the farm.  For the most part I always knew what he was talking about.  He would pull out old photo albums and yearbooks from when he was in high school and growing up.  I would sigh and realize I was going to be there for a while (I had seen and heard the stories countless times), but always would enjoy every second of it.  It made him incredibly happy to be able to talk about the things he knew and experienced.  It was so important for everyone to understand "I was smart" and he would point to his head.  He would say, "I had all the ladies, but one, only one... mama" (which was my grandma).  She would roll her eyes, smile and say, "Oh, Garn."

His passing isn't necessarily sad for me.  It was time, he was 89.  He didn't have the best quality of life and my Grandma was no longer here.  All I could think about was how he could be whole again and be with my Grandma.  And his Mom, who died when he was 8 months old.  I am going to miss him, his company, his stories, his smile, and how he always always told me he loved me.  "Oh, I love you" as dramatically has he could say it.  I felt special in a sea of over 50 grandchildren, he had to have my picture up so he could see it while he was sitting in his chair.  He would point to it and say, "that's my girl"  I know all of us granddaughters were "his girls"  but it still made me feel special. 

I still really miss my Grandma.  It wasn't until I graduated from High School and started working on the farm regularly and would go to her house for lunches and naps that I feel I really built my relationship with her.  And she always was so interested in my life.  So concerned with who I was dating, were they nice?  She was excited to find out that one of her best friends was related to Jaren (his Grandma's sister).  And she could find out everything she needed to know about the family.  And it was all good, so she told me I could marry him :)

Thinking about them, about everything I know and the time I spent with them I am left feeling incredibly grateful for the time I was able to spend with them.  That I was able to know such wonderful people.  That I grew up in the same town, saw them every Sunday and during the week.  Grandma came to some of my games and performances.  I know not everyone get's to grow up around their Grandparents, but I lived a few miles from one set and 30 minutes from my Grandma.  I am grateful for my family, who sacrifice so much without being expected to.  My Dad and Uncle who rotated every other night for the last year staying with my Grandpa, helping him with everything he couldn't do so he could stay in his home.  Where he was happiest and most familiar.  April 14th last year my Grandma went into the nursing home and passed away just over a month later.  April 14th this year my Grandpa when into the same nursing home and passed away within 4 days of my Grandma's 1 year date of passing. 

I'm so looking forward to this weekend and learning more about each of them through my Aunts and Uncles.  I cherish the stories.

I hope that I can reach into my 80's and look back at my life and legacy like they did.  With a full, happy life.  It's hard to say goodbye now, but I know I'll see them again and it's such a great comfort to know that they will be there to greet me when it's my time.

As soon as I get my external hard drive to work on this computer I'll have some pictures of my Grandma, too.

Lately

• I've been reading, but not as much as a few weeks ago
• I've been working on pictures again - taking and editing and sorting.  Feels kinda nice
• I've started running again.  Decided to train for the Teton Dam 10K.  Not a half marathon like last year - I wish I had started training 4 weeks sooner so I could have run that.
• I've been surprised and happy how easy it's been to get back into shape.  For the most part, anyway.
• We've been talking and thinking about baby number 2.
• I've been thinking more and more about baby number 2.  Maybe I'm ready?  Maybe I'm not?
• Naomi has been the sweetest thing since her top two K-9 teeth have come in.  I knew she was in there somewhere
• Naomi has discovered her love for salt and vinegar chips
• She still takes 2 naps maybe once a week, but mostly down to one these days.
• She is trying to say so many words, I only understand most of them because she points while saying it.  
• I love it when she says "Mama"  The tone she uses :)
• Jaren has been working like crazy.  It seems every year I see him less and less during farming season.  
• I've been buying loads of home/home decor magazines and have been cutting out things and writing down ideas because I want to be prepared when the day comes to build.  Someday in the next few years.  I hope.
• I have been making quite a few trips to Twin Falls to see Nathan, Stephanie, Conner and the recent addition - Jayden.
• I have also been working on a "Quiet Book" for Naomi for church so she will be distracted enough to stay in Sacrament meeting.  I'm tired of taking her out in the hall!
• I can't seem to enjoy folding and putting away laundry, but I love my new washer and dryer!
• Naomi has finally overcome her fear of the windshield wipers
• Naomi has picked up a new fear of yelling/screaming.  Any yelling/screaming on T.V. get's a whine and a drop down to the floor with her head shaking "no" over and over till it goes away.  Ugh.  I don't know where it came from.
• I have found running with a stroller is 5 times harder than running without one.
• I have felt a bit socially deprived.  I miss hanging out with friends.  
• I have been obsessed with Mindy Gledhill's album Anchor.  Fantastic.  Beautiful voice.  Saw her in concert and it was better live than on the album.
• I have been eating loads of dried apples.  Yum Yum.  My Daddy's dried apples to be exact.  
• Naomi discovered another love:  Red Peppers.  To my surprised and delight.  
• I have been trying to go to bed in the 10 o'clock hour.
• I have been trying to decide if I want to cut bangs again or not.  I hate that they get in my eyes.  I'm trying to decide if I look old without them.
• I have been trying to get myself to blog.  Hopefully I can do at least once a week, then build up from there.  I miss it.

We like to play Peek A Boo

She really didn't want to pose

Except for when I'm behind the camera :)

Vintage

How old does something have to be to be considered "vintage"?

Back in High School I was at my Grandma's house and my sister and I were trying on my Mom's wedding dress.  Turns out she is kind 4 inches shorter than I am so the waist hit at an empire level and my Mom was tiny, and I didn't want to rip the dress.  But, in the spirit of trying things on my Grandma brings out one of her Mom's outfits.  I often hear how she was always so well dressed and in every picture I've seen it sure appears so.

But for some reason I didn't try it on.  I think I was too afraid it was too small.  So, I went home and put it in my closet.  I was always sure it was just too small and wouldn't fit me.  So I never tried it on.

I have been looking for a nice skirt that hits at the waist and goes down past my knee's.  I can't seem to find one.  But then I remembered this whole suit set I have had in my closet for the last 7 years.  A whole tailored set: suit pants, vest, jacket and skirt.  I pulled it out and finally looked at the faded tag.  Size 6.  What?!  Why didn't I look at it sooner??

So I put on the skirt and I'm in love.

 

The sad part?  I took it to wear to church over Christmas at my parents house and had just finished changing Naomi's diaper and went to get off the bed and did a bit of the splits and "rrrrrriip".  Gasp. Tears.  Run around like a crazy person trying to find needle and thread.  So, I sewed it as best I could in the 3 minutes before we were supposed to walk out the door.  But I still need to go seam rip it again and do it right on my sewing machine.  

I still feel awful, but I'll fix it and if I can't do a good enough job I'll find someone who will.  

Isn't it beautiful?  Well, I think it is and mostly probably because it belonged to my Great Grandmother.  She passed away in 2006 and I don't remember a lot of her.  She had Alzheimers and by the time she couldn't remember who I was I was around 10 - 12 years old.  But I do enjoy the stories my Grandma tells me about her in the nursing home :)  And anything I learn about her past.  

Wasn't she beautiful?  I love this picture.  And Grandma... I'm sorry I ripped your skirt because I'm stupid sometimes and don't think that some fabrics don't stretch.  I hope it wasn't your favorite.  Don't worry.... I'll fix it.

Bucket List

My friend, Paloma, left a comment on my post below about how a pair of those fantastic beautiful shoes were on her bucket list.  It got me thinking.... a bucket list!  What a great idea.  I'm making one.  So here is my first few things (in no particular order) (and some may be done already):

1.  Visit the Harry Potter Theme Park.

2.  Go on a Caribbean Cruise. 

3.  Surf in Hawaii (CHECK!)

4.  Skydive or bungee jump

5.  Visit New York City

6.  Eat at the top of the Space Needle

7.  Own a pair of Christian Louboutin Shoes

And that's it for now!  I think this will get pretty long at one point.  I can't forget the things I've already done, but should be on there anyway. 

Oh, and Happy Valentines Day!  Jaren came home with chocolates and a dozen, long stemmed red roses that are more beautiful than any that he has given me before.  And what did he want for his Valentines dinner?  Risotto?  Chicken Cordon Bleu?  New York Steak?  Fettuccine Alfredo?  Anything dinnery and something specialy?!  Nope.  Turkey bacon sandwich.  So, of course I smoked up the house and burnt the bacon.  But he still said it was delicious and exactly what he wanted.  Ahhh, he's the perfect Valentine. 

If I Had 7,387.49 Dollars

I would buy these things on my (mostly)frivolous wish list:

$399.00   Bose Sound Dock.  

I love music.  I listen to it all the time.  My daughter is evidence enough since she has been dancing since she was 7 months old and could sit up and bounce/sway/move her shoulders.  Currently I am toting around a pair of old computer speakers and my iPod.  Works alright, but doesn't have the sound or the look this much prettier choice has. 

$164.99  16 gig iPod Nano - Pink

Again, I love music!  I am currently using my 4 gig Nano that I bought with 4 months worth of tips back in August of 2006.  I paid $250 for it and I can't believe how the price and style has changed.  I love this new model since it's perfect for running and I wont have to have the tan-line from my arm band that I have to carry my current iPod in.  Not to mention I can get it in pink.  Or Graphite since it looks gold and it's fantastic.

$695.00  Black Pump - Christian Louboutin

Since it seems that in any given month I am dressing up in dresses and heels 4-5 times I want timeless staples.  And that would be some black leather pumps.  I love shoes and when I'm in a dress I prefer heels.  Since chances are more likely I'll never be able to afford a pair of these I could settle for the below example.

$89.95 Black Pump - Steve Madden

Cheaper, not as luxurious and comfortable and beautiful, but $600 cheaper, so who cares?  Me. Oh well, I can dream.

$795.00 Red Pump - Christian Louboutin

I really like paring red shoes with black and white outfits.  I have quite a few black and white outfits.  I don't know why the red is more than the black, but if I was ever able to afford the black I'm sure I'd be in the position to afford the red.  And they would last me forever - my entire life and then some, right?  Would that justify it? 

$89.95 Red Pump - Steve Madden

And here is the much, much cheaper (but not as beautiful, comfortable and not even real leather) option.  Right now I am using an open toed pump that I bought for $10 back in September of 2006.  They have a few scuff marks on the sides but otherwise are alright.  Oh, they are horribly uncomfortable.  I'm ready for an upgrade.  How about a $785 upgrade?  I know, stop rolling your eyes.  Or maybe you're nodding your head and drooling?

$89.95 Nude Pump - Steve Madden

Nude is supposed to go with everything and there are a few things I have that I don't exactly have the perfect shoe for.  So, I'm on the market for a Nude Pump.  And I really like the look of the hidden platform.  Which most of these options have.

$580.00  Nude Pump - Brian Atwood

I had to.  I believe I have a fetish with expensive beautiful shoes the same reason I have one with jeans.  They are better made and are more comfortable.  They also last longer - assuming you care for them properly.  I don't have any of these expensive heels, though.  I do have really nice jeans (although I am proud to say I have never paid full price for a pair) and can testify of their value.

$895  Nude Pump - Christian Louboutin

So, I know I'm looking for regular timeless pumps, but this is beautiful and I think I'd do it instead of the others if it were ever an option.  I think someday when we are ever somewhere where I can try a pair of Loutoutin's on, I will.  And I'll blog about the experience.  :)

$2,306.50  Canon 5D Mark II

I don't even think I have to explain this.  But the picture taking quality, the options, the high ISO - everything about it makes it loads better than my scrony t1i.  It's a purchase I hope to make in the next year - assuming I can save enough and book enough clients to make the money. 

$1419.00  Canon EF 16-35mm f/2.8L

I want a wide angle lens.  I wouldn't mind the fixed 35mm as I really love my fixed 50mm, but I want the zoom this provides.  I've found that with taking pictures of kids you need to be able to be further away and at a moments notice catch an expression closer up.  I would probably buy this before the camera body above - which would mean putting it off for longer than a year.

$179.00  Shoot Sac

Currently I'm using a bulky camera bag backpack thing that I have to take off my shoulder, unzip and pull out the lens I want to use, then change the lenses, put the other back in, zip it back up and put it back on my back.  Time consuming and inconvenient and costly since I lose shooting opportunities.  I have heard good reviews about this bag -so it's on my list of priorities.

$395.00  Black Studded Boot

I'm looking for a black boot with around a 3 inch heel to wear with jeans.  I've been on the look out for a while now, but haven't found anything that strikes my fancy enough.  These are beautiful and would work great.  But if I had $400 to spend on shoes, I'm not totally sure if I would choose these.  Although, I would use them more than any of the pumps that are on my list.

$139.00  Kindle

I love love love to read.  The library here is found wanting and I can't afford the amount of books I want to read.  Since books only cost a few bucks with the kindle I wouldn't feel so bad buying a book that I'm not exactly sure I'd want to read again.  Since I re-read books every few years I don't mind buying a book if it's good enough to re-read.  The only problem is buying one that I don't want to have in my library and not being able to return it.  It's a waste.  With this it would be alright.

And this, ladies and gentlemen concludes my current lust list.  What is on yours?

Therapeuting

I didn't make any resolutions this year.  I did it on purpose.  Well, I thought about it, but I let it slip by, then I was two weeks into the new year and decided "oh well". 

You see, I do really well with one of my 5 plus resolutions all year, but the others fall away eventually.  I don't want to be a failure this year.  So I decided to not set lofty goals for a whole year.  I'll do some as I go and if I don't keep up I'm not too worried.  Because a week ore two or a month later I usually pick back up where I left off. 

So, here I am over a month into 2011 and I have decided to come out of hibernation.  My hibernating consisted of playing with Naomi, reading, making a headboard, ironing all of Jarens 17 shirts, watching Prison Break, reading some more, cooking, reading again, Naomi, Naomi, sleeping, reading, occasional cleaning, laundry once a week and even more reading. 

I haven't even been taking pictures.  What kind of mother am I?!  But I have been videoing so don't get your panties in a bunch.  Or knot.  However that works. 

I decided I'm going to start therapeuting.  What is theraputing, you ask?  Well, it's doing things that are therapeutic to you.  Or ends with the resulted feeling like you've been lying on a couch talking someone's ear off about all of your worries and troubles so you leave feeling elated, light, happy and effervescent. 

Here are my therapies:

Write:  because if you've read more than one post you know I like to talk.  You may also know talking makes me feel better.  So I'm going to blab all I want here and not feel bad if I don't post a picture or if no one reads.  Because I feel better.  But I do like comments...

Exercise:  Because I feel free.  I love being in shape and shame on me for not keeping up with an exercise routine for more than 2 weeks since JUNE.  I started running again last week and as long as I do it 3-5 times a week I'll be happy. 

Clean:  the actual cleaning is NOT therapeutic for me.  In fact, I really don't care for it and I have to be in a really special mood to get going.  But the end result is what makes me happy.  And it makes Jaren even more happy than it makes me and that adds to my happiness.  Right now my house is disgusting.  I'm not going to get it all done in a day - or a week.  I'm going to pick a small thing each day and maybe over the course of the next month my house will sparkle.  Literally.  And maybe even I'll pick up a good habit of staying on top of it all.  (Again, I'm not getting my hopes up).

Naomi:  I'm going to take more pictures and video even more.  Because she is awesome.  And really whiny right now because she is getting 2 pre-molars and 2-4 k-9 teeth.  And she is a dancing machine.  And blabbers.  And I need to entertain her and help her to find more things to entertain her other than Dora, Baby MacDonald and Baby signing time.  Not that any of those are bad choices to spend one's time, but I would rather her run around and laugh and play. And I need to get her pooping regularly.  Poor thing.  It's a good thing she likes Prunes.  Oh, AND I need her to feed herself!  UGH.  AND I need to figure out how to wean her off a bottle because she is quite attached.  QUITE. 

So.  Here I go.