Countdown: 3 Weeks

And a change of mind.

I decided to push the half marathon to July and run a 10K instead. 

A few reasons.  When I run I don't want it to be horrible.  I don't want to finish and say, "Oh man, that was so hard, I'm never doing that again"  or be in so much pain.  And with how conditioned I am at the moment that's probably how it would be.  I could run it and finish it, but it wouldn't be so fun and I want to enjoy it.

This week didn't go as planned.  Thursday I received some news that my Grandma was dying.  Now, her health has been failing for 3 or 4 years now so it was sort of expected.  I just didn't expect to feel so emotional about it.  I wasn't in the mood to run after receiving the phone call - I bummed around waiting for the final phone call that never came.  I called my Mom later that evening and found out the bleeding had slowed and that she was still hanging on. 

Friday I was going to run, but I had a friend over and then I just didn't feel like it again that night.  I've been really beating myself up over needing to run and not doing it. 

Saturday was going to be my 8 mile day and the weather was atrocious.  Wind, rain, snow, hail - you name it.  Running on the treadmill drives me nuts and for 8 miles that would drive me bonkers.  And I wouldn't be able to go the entire time like I can outside because I can't set my own pace.  So I kept putting it off.  And I was in a funk of a mood.

Then that afternoon I got the call that she had passed and any thought of anything went out the window. 

I've been struggling with feeling like a failure.  I have been planning on running this particular race since last year and decided on a half marathon when I was pregnant to help loose the baby weight.  Well, I lost the weight, but the training hasn't gone as I had hoped.  I wasn't able to do any long runs (detrimental to long distance races) for a month and a half.  With being out of town, weddings, being sick - it all worked against me. 

I could finish the race, but it wouldn't be fun and it would be very, very hard and I would hurt for a long time afterward.  So.  I decided the best thing for myself and to relieve some of the stress - especially since this weekend will be spent in Washington at the funeral - is to just do the 10K.  I can do 6 miles easy.  And I'm going to try to do it within an hour.  Give or take 5 minutes.  Probably more like give....  And I'll start training for the half in July now. 
 

Did You Know?

That I pick the bread off the edges of my sandwiches and burgers?  I feel like I have to have an even amount of stuff (meat, cheese, lettuce..) and bread.  And around the edges there is too much bread.  Drives Jaren nuts.  But he says it's "endearing".  I'm convinced that the things that annoy him he says are "endearing" to convince himself they are :)

I never felt, until recently (past 8 months or so... blaming it on pregnancy) that I have crooked teeth.  Never had braces, but I almost want them to fix my two front teeth.  My dentist says he can round them to make them look more strait.  So now I want that and whitening, but don't want to shell out the $150 or so.  So, I smile a lot with my mouth closed.

I cracked my nose when I was 5.  Doctor wanted to put stitches in and I cried and told him No because I didn't want the scar.  I'm quite proud of my 5 year old self.  I still have the scar and can feel where the crack was.

I met Jaren in March and didn't let him hold my hand or kiss me until August.  We dated off and on that whole time.  It took me a long time to realize how I felt.  And I didn't want to hurt such a nice guys feelings by leading him on, so I never let it happen.

I played Softball, Soccer, Basketball and was on the dance team in high school.  I also played Softball for four seasons in college and was on the championship team three of those times.  I'm currently looking for a league to join for this summer.  But soccer is still my favorite sport.

I am a horrible housekeeper.  Like now, I'm blogging and I have two basket's of laundry that need folded, two bathrooms that need to be cleaned and my entire house needs to be vacuumed.  I have such a hard time being motivated.  But once I get going I get a ton done. 

I enjoy making cards.  One day I'll show you what I've done.  I want to sell them to feed my photography fetish.  And my jean fetish.

I love jeans.  I love designer jeans.  I have never paid full price for a pair.  I don't have quite the collection I would like.  I have 5 pair and I'm looking for 3 more from different designers.  But if you saw the amount of jeans I had in my closet you'd give me a good shove. 

I have a ridiculous amount of clothes I don't wear.  I wanted to get back down to my pre-preg weight so I could try them on and get rid of the ones that don't fit right or that I don't want.  I need to do that.  Last night I pulled a few, but most I thought, "I might need that someday".  I just need to get rid of them.  It will give me an excuse to buy new if the occasion ever comes where I actually need the item I discarded.  The entire collection is from when I was 15 years old to now.  It's silly.

I sing and dance for my daughter.  I look like a nincompoop but she thinks I'm awesome.  So I do it everyday. 

I probably kiss her over 100 times a day.  I am constantly lotioning her cheeks because of it. 

Countdown: 4 weeks

First week of serious training is done.  I was a bit nervous about it.  Running on the treadmill is harder than running outside.  Seeing the numbers and not being able to control your own pace is annoying.

I ran 7 miles Saturday in 75 minutes.  Not bad for having only ran 5 miles outside and it was a month and a half ago.  I didn't stop once.  Here is how it went for me.

I dropped a water bottle on the way to my In Laws (to drop the babe off) at the nexus of my route.  I grabbed it at 1 mile took a swig, dropped it again (kept running).  Grabbed it after 2 miles, 4 miles and 6 miles, then carried it the last mile back to the house. 

After the first mile I started to think, "Oh crud, I'm already tired... how the heck am I going to run 13 miles?!"  But, I thought, "I've ran 5 miles without stopping, I can think about walking when I get there."  So I kept on.  It wasn't until I had just turned to start my fourth mile that I started to feel really good.  And I thought I could do it. 

During my fifth mile my hips started to hurt, but conditioning wise, my respiratory system was doing great!  I had hit my steady state and I knew I just needed to push my body. During my sixth mile my hips stopped hurting, but my feet, left ankle and left knee started to bug (man, I feel old with all these aches and pains).  And it wasn't until the last half mile that I started to get out of breath and tired.  Then my feet REALLY started to hurt.  I'm attributing that to the new shoes that I'm still currently breaking in. 

So, what I learned from this run is I need to work harder.  That I still have 5 more miles to run in 4 weeks.  So, I'm going to try to do 2 outside runs this week instead of one so I can continue to pace myself myself (yes, meant to say that twice). 

I haven't registered yet and I wont until this week is over.  I am going to see how training goes and how my 8 mile run goes Saturday.  Or 9... not sure what I'm doing.  But, since I already ran over a 10K yesterday I  should just do it. 

I'm just nervous!  And excited!

I'm (Just About) Back!

My body, anyway.  Today marks 7 months postpartum and I am 1 pound away from my goal weight.  I'm sure it will come off sometime in the next few weeks while running like a crazy. 

There are a few things that are different after going through a 46 pound weight gain during my first pregnancy.

• My back seems to be holding onto fat more than it used to(bra fat and love handles)
• My tummy isn't totally completely flat like it used to be, but it's close.  The muscles are - I just have a small tire going around my middle.
• The arm acne.  Never had it before, but it popped up while pregnant and has not gone away and has gotten worse and worse.  It really really bothers me.  I don't know why it's there and why it wont go away!  
• My breasts are different because of breastfeeding and will never be the same.  Kind of bummed.
• I'm a bit weaker.  Can't do as many push ups like I used to.
• My thighs are a little more shapely. 
• A few fading stretch marks on my outer thighs (never got any on my tummy!)

But these things really aren't bad.  The only noticeable thing I think is the layer of fat around my middle.  And it's not much, just a little.  Maybe others may not notice it much.

I haven't posted a recent body picture, but I had Jaren take these 2 weeks ago. 

Except this one.  This is me a year ago 6 weeks preg.

6 1/2 Months Postpartum

Overall I'm very happy with how I've bounced back.  I am not exactly as thin as I was before, but I feel like if I keep exercising hard I can be with time.  If not, that's ok.  At least that's the mood I'm in now.  Tomorrow I may feel differently.

Countdown: 5 weeks

Till the Dam Marathon that I plan on running.  Well, not the full marathon - the half.

I've always wanted to run a marathon and wanted to be realistic with starting with a half.  And gaining 46 pounds during my pregnancy was great motivation to train for one to help loose that weight. 

I'm one pound away from my pre-pregnancy weight.  I've been hovering at 2-3 pounds to go for the last 2 months!  Annoying.

I'm worried about being able to run since I've not been able to train properly for the last almost month and a half!  Every Saturday I've been busy and that is my long run day. 

Then the last 2 weeks I've been sick.  I ran 3 miles Friday and it wasn't very easy.  So I decided I'm going to work super super hard and after two weeks I should know how easy it will be.  Worst case I run the 10K.

I ran 4 miles today and it wasn't so bad.  I'll do 5 Wednesday, 4 1/2 Thursday and 7 Saturday. 

Good luck to me!

All Night Long

I slept! Hooray for zonked out babies! We've had a few nights where she has slept from 7 - 5:30, but nothing where she sleeps from the moment she initially falls asleep till we wake up. Oh it is so nice. It took one night of her crying during the night. A lot better than I thought.

I ran yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks and I learned I am going to have to really push myself to run a half marathon in a month.

I did the laundry! And cleaned the kitchen! And got my new high chair!

I get as excited for new baby stuff as I do for new clothes for myself. The high chair came yesterday and I set it up with my Mother in Law. I love it because it straps her in like a back pack. With straps over the shoulders and everything. We've been having problems with her chewing on the left side of her bumbo while I'm trying to feed her. Crazy girl.

And I got new spoons that I am in LOVE with. Weird? Does this mean I'm totally a boring mom now that I am so excited about a high chair and SPOONS? Oh... don't get me started on the magical booger sucker.

Pictures of spoons and high chair and boring Mommy person to come as soon as I get my new desktop with space to unload the massive amount of pictures on my camera.

Today

I had hoped to start running again.  But didn't.

I thought I would get all of the laundry done and put away.  But didn't.

I figured I could get my kitchen clean and spotless.  Didn't get that done either.

I wanted to put away Naomi's clothes she has outgrown.  They made it to the front room for folding, but not in their totes.

I needed to go grocery shopping, run to Wal Mart and pick up pictures.  I did do that.

I also got a nap and played with a very happy squealy squirmy girl. 

Maybe tomorrow will be more productive with all of those things I didn't do.  Plus playing with the happy baby again.  I don't mind repeats. 

And on a side note here is a picture Cassie from Pink Paisley Photography took of me a few weeks ago.  We are going back in a week and a half to have her take our little families pictures.  I'm very very excited.