Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Where Am I?

I had an emotional break down today. 

The day started out fine.  I have a sick baby.  She has an ear infection and is trying to get over a 2 week long cold.  She also needed a higher dose of her Reflux medication and we didn't know until yesterday.  So, her reflux came back and I have been handling a pretty sad baby that has been really needy. 

So, with all the wonderful med's that are helping her feel better she slept much  more sound last night.  Which meant we did, too.  It wasn't until I tried to get on the treadmill, started to walk and felt the PSD (this site calls it SPD) pain again that I started to lose my good mood.  And I was only able to go just over a mile before Naomi started to fuss.  I tried running and the pain got worse.  Much much worse. 

Jaren came home for lunch and I took a shower.  It was during this shower where I realized what needed to change.  I'm afraid my PSD/SPD pain needs time to heal and hopefully my Chiropractor can help.  If not - I'm finding a new one.  I need to get myself back. I need to exercise.  I need to not let my eyebrows grow out of control.  I need to not go 3 days without showering.  I need to do things for myself. 

Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE being a mom.  I'm in love with my daughter.  I love taking care of her.  I love being at home and making sure she learns to fall asleep by herself, making sure she eats when she is supposed to.  I love reading to her - hearing her talk and squeal.  I love to sing to her; especially since she is the only person on this earth that loves to hear my voice.  I live for her smiles.  This is what I was born for.  At least it feels like it; being a wife and a mother.  I am so happy with where I am in my life.

I just need to now take care of myself, too.  Naomi is 2 1/2 months old (11 weeks today).  I have had plenty of time to get used to being a mom and develope a routine.  She is predictable and I should be able to work myself into the day as well. 


Here is the plan:

  • Exercise at least 3 days out of the week.  (Idealy I'd like 6 days out of the week, but I'm taking off days and time into consideration)
  • Do push ups and sit ups every day
  • I'm giving myself 3 months to get back down to where I was pre-pregnancy.  (I'll post tomorrow with my stats)
  • At least every other week get out and do something for myself (either pedicure, massage, facial, tan, and/or when the weather get's nice; things outside)  Idealy, I'd like to do this once a week.  But it may not happen that way.
  • Shower MUCH more often
  • Wash my face every day (believe it or not, sometimes it's hard to find time to get in and wash my face... ridiculous - I know)
  • Floss my teeth every day (a hard one for me)

Because there are a lot of beauty schools here that do the pedicures and facials for cheap I can afford to do something like that every once in a while. 

If I'm feeling as motivated as I am today I should start posting more often.  It's part of my motivation - making this public.  And maybe, hopefully I can inspire or help someone else.


Life as Ashley said...

Ooooh! Can I join you? I'm 18 months postpartum, and I'm getting worse and worse! :)

Good luck! You can do it!


You'll get yourself back Whit, it just takes a day at a time sometimes. One day you'll look back and realize you've got everything (including your old bod and routines) back together and you'll be juggling this perfect lil' schedule. Your goals are perfect, you're doing awesome!

The Boob Nazi said...

I hate flossing and think it should die.

Alexis Treese said...

I feel your pain. When I wash my hair- Casey's like, Whats the special occasion? Someone told me when I wake up, first thing... get ready. like "ready to walk out the door" ready. So I try to do that every morning, first thing and I feel much better throughout the day... but dang, it's hard to do. I really need to get myself in order too. Mainly my health. It's a delicate balance, that I am still trying to figure out. I wish you a speedy journey to find your new normal.

Alexis Treese said...

By the way... post more pictures should be on your list. Let's see what the new lens can do. Speaking of... you'll have to tell me how that new investment works out.

Anonymous said...

Amen sister! First of all, you really never get used to being a mom, at least I haven't. :) Secondly, ahhhh I totally agree that you need to do something for yourself! It will in fact make you a better wife and mother, trust me. I joined the gym and love it. I tell myself, even if the kids just go to the childcare spot while I sit in the locker room for an hour by myself, I'm okay with that!! ha, but true! As for the for the washing your face, I was in the same boat so I bought the Target brand face wipes so I can sweep them across my face every night while brushing my teeth. Two things at once. :) ENJOY!!

Ty and Jenny Robbins said...

Way to go girl! Those are some awesome goals. As long as you remember what it's all for, I think you're doing great. Definitely keep us updated.

Wendyburd1 said...

I am so glad you will be posting more! Is this pain anything your OBGYN could help you figure out what to do with? Shouldn't it be gone now that lil Spud is here??

CaJoh said...

Definitely get out and treat yourself. Too often people focus on the child and never on themselves.

May you and yours have a very happy new year.

ramsam said...

I remember thinking how shocked I was that having a new baby was harder than being pregnant. Itis like an ugly secret the world has that noone tlaks baout, only they do, we just ignore it thinkg WE will be above it! Well, after severe postpartum, struggles with depression and 3 babies later I take notice now. It is hard, and some days are horrible, even when you LOVE your baby and LOVE your life. Hang in there sweetie, it all comes together and you will find your new grove. Goals are great, but motherhood can be trying, so be easy on yourself too. My best advice is find someone who you can be brutally honest with how is going through the same type of stuff. like a another young cute mommy like you, and talk to her evry day. It saved me!!!

Also, please e-mail me anytime you need to vent! I hear you..and I ADORE my family. Life is....well, it's life, and it makes us amazing. Happy New Year.