Stats

I posted yesterday about how I'm hoping to start making some improvements with myself.  Today I'm divulging information.  In code, though.

Instead of telling exactly how much I weigh, I'll give false numbers, but accurate at the same time.

Here we go:
I weighed 100 lbs when I got pregnant.  But I didn't really weigh 100 (I wish), but we will pretend I did. 
I gained 46 lbs during my pregnancy.  That is true.  So, at the end of my pregnancy I weighed 146 lbs.

Make sense yet?

I have 16 pounds left to go to get back to my pre pregnancy weight.
So it's like I weigh 116 right now and want to get back to 100.

Let me know if I'm confusing you.

I don't mind giving my real sizes.
Pre pregnancy I was a size 4 or 5, 26 or 27 and every shirt fit in a small.
Right now I'm a snug size 8.  Snug 29 and every small shirt is too tight and mediums fit.

In one of my classes during my last semester I was able to do underwater weighing to find out my exact body fat percentage.  It was taken in March - I was pregnant, but only around 6-8 weeks so it shouldn't have affected the results much if at all.
I was at 15% body fat.
I'm not sure where I am now since I'm done with school.  I'm hoping to go to the wellness center soon (they let members of the community come in) and get the caliper body fat thingy done to find out where I am now. 

Right now I'm losing about a pound a week without exercising.  I'm hoping with exercise to bump that up to a pound and a half to 2 pounds.

I cannot diet by cutting calories (since I'm breast feeding).  So, instead I'll diet by getting my calories from healthy sources.  More nutrient dense foods.
Chocolate didn't taste right during pregnancy and it does now.  I've been eating some every day.  (I know, it's amazing I'm losing any weight at all.  Thank you breast feeding)  I will stop that as soon as it's all gone :)

My motivation:

• You (through comments - hoping to get some supportive ones)
• this blog - I will post results often and it would sure be embarrassing if nothing changes from one post to the next.
• pictures - pre pregnancy pictures vs now.  I'll post examples.
• Jaren - he wants his little wife back, I'm sure :)  (even though he compliments me VERY often and has never made me feel like I'm slacking or fat)
• Clothing - I have a pretty sizable wardrobe that I am dying to get back into
• Money - I can't afford to make a new wardrobe of larger clothes
• mommy frumps - I do NOT want to become a frumpy mommy (which is what I feel like now)
• time - I want the most amount of time back to my pre pregnancy size before I get pregnant again and lose it all over again. 
• hair - I want to chop my hair off again, but wont do it until my face is skinny (what I consider skinny) again.  Naomi already grabs and pulls at my hair, can't imagine the damage she will do when she get's coordinated.

Up next: pictures.  Pre vs. now.

Where Am I?

I had an emotional break down today. 

The day started out fine.  I have a sick baby.  She has an ear infection and is trying to get over a 2 week long cold.  She also needed a higher dose of her Reflux medication and we didn't know until yesterday.  So, her reflux came back and I have been handling a pretty sad baby that has been really needy. 

So, with all the wonderful med's that are helping her feel better she slept much  more sound last night.  Which meant we did, too.  It wasn't until I tried to get on the treadmill, started to walk and felt the PSD (this site calls it SPD) pain again that I started to lose my good mood.  And I was only able to go just over a mile before Naomi started to fuss.  I tried running and the pain got worse.  Much much worse. 

Jaren came home for lunch and I took a shower.  It was during this shower where I realized what needed to change.  I'm afraid my PSD/SPD pain needs time to heal and hopefully my Chiropractor can help.  If not - I'm finding a new one.  I need to get myself back. I need to exercise.  I need to not let my eyebrows grow out of control.  I need to not go 3 days without showering.  I need to do things for myself. 

Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE being a mom.  I'm in love with my daughter.  I love taking care of her.  I love being at home and making sure she learns to fall asleep by herself, making sure she eats when she is supposed to.  I love reading to her - hearing her talk and squeal.  I love to sing to her; especially since she is the only person on this earth that loves to hear my voice.  I live for her smiles.  This is what I was born for.  At least it feels like it; being a wife and a mother.  I am so happy with where I am in my life.

I just need to now take care of myself, too.  Naomi is 2 1/2 months old (11 weeks today).  I have had plenty of time to get used to being a mom and develope a routine.  She is predictable and I should be able to work myself into the day as well. 

So.  

Here is the plan:

• Exercise at least 3 days out of the week.  (Idealy I'd like 6 days out of the week, but I'm taking off days and time into consideration)
• Do push ups and sit ups every day
• I'm giving myself 3 months to get back down to where I was pre-pregnancy.  (I'll post tomorrow with my stats)
• At least every other week get out and do something for myself (either pedicure, massage, facial, tan, and/or when the weather get's nice; things outside)  Idealy, I'd like to do this once a week.  But it may not happen that way.
• Shower MUCH more often
• Wash my face every day (believe it or not, sometimes it's hard to find time to get in and wash my face... ridiculous - I know)
• Floss my teeth every day (a hard one for me)
  

Because there are a lot of beauty schools here that do the pedicures and facials for cheap I can afford to do something like that every once in a while. 

If I'm feeling as motivated as I am today I should start posting more often.  It's part of my motivation - making this public.  And maybe, hopefully I can inspire or help someone else.

Contemplating

I'm in a contemplative mood this Saturday morning. Jaren made me breakfast (which happens most mornings since I'm feeding the little person at that time). Naomi is napping like a good girl and I am not in the mood to exercise or do housework this second. It's been a while since I've blogged. On either blog.

I've been so consumed in my new life with my baby that I've not been interested in blogging. My biggest priority has been to get a good routine for Naomi. She does really well when she is laid down before she falls asleep for her first two naps during the day. The last one is during the evening and she is usually so wound up that she wont lay down and if we do lay her down - she is usually down for the night, which isn't what we want (her bedtime to be 6 p.m.) So she sleeps in the swing or bouncer.

I believe that because of this she is going 8 hours in between feedings, so she is only waking up once at night and it's usually around 5 a.m., then goes back down for another 3 hours. If her routine is broken she usually doesn't do as well at night. She wakes up 5-6 hours after the last feeding and so it's up twice for me and I've really come to like the only getting up once. Well, I still get up twice - once to pump (talk about uncomfortable) and once to feed.

It's so funny how my greatest source of frustration and happiness is how well Naomi sleeps. Because how well she sleeps determines how happy she is when she is awake. Which also determines how happy I am. She has started to smile and each day it's more and more. It overwhelms me with joy to see her face light up and her little legs pump and kick.

This may be a weird analogy, but, I kind of feel like I've been a slave to this baby for the last 2 months. Serving her, feeding her, burping her, changing her, making sure she is warm and happy. And now, she is paying me back by smiling and cooing. I feel like I'm going to be paid back daily for everything I do by her happy self now. And it will just get better and better. I'm truly excited.

I always knew I wanted to be a mommy. It felt like home the second she was placed in my arms and she stopped crying when she heard my voice. Finally.... my turn. I've been loving every second of it. The sleep deprivation has brought me to tears a few times. But her sleeping so well now is so incredibly wonderful.

It's so funny that I squeal with delight when she pooh's, burps or stays awake during a feeding. The things that bring me the most joy has changed so dramatically over the last 2 months. But this change feels so right. It's exactly where I should be.

And Jaren... oh, don't get me started on how wonderful he is. I'll drive you all to tears. I will say that he has sacrificed a lot to help me. I've gone 3-4 days without a shower and he will stay home for just a little longer in the mornings so I can take one. Or a little longer at lunch. He get's up at 6:00 a.m. when she is grunting to burp her (b/c, never fails that's what it is) so I can continue to sleep. He get's up when she needs to be fed to help me change her because she screams at the top of her lungs. Poor thing is tired and HUNGRY and we lay her down and violate her by changing her diaper. He keeps the pacifier in her mouth and talks to her and calms her down. Never fails that listening to him and looking at him calms her down. It melts my heart how she loves him.

Talk about a sappy post.... I just have been thinking about the way my life has changed and how I'm really enjoying it. I'm enjoying trying to get into a new routine. Enjoying how to be a mommy and still live my life. I went to Idaho Falls yesterday for the first time and did some shopping with her. She slept the whole time except for the one time I had to feed her (thank you to my sister in law Stephanie for letting me use her parents house). This coming weekend we are going to Utah; just the two of us and her. Our lives are just beginning.

She just woke up - time to be a mommy. :)