I went in for my Non Stress Test yesterday morning and was oddly in a euphoric mood. I was so happy. Jaren was making me laugh non stop and I didn't feel stressed at all. I was very, very painfully swollen, but felt good that things were going to be okay with her. And they were, they strapped me up to the 2 monitors (one that monitored my contractions and one that monitored her heart beat) and her heart showed all of the accelerations and decelerations it was supposed to. They said she was perfect. I was so relieved!
It was fun hearing the heartbeat. And Jaren found the doctors stool on wheels and was wheeling around the room in circles bumping into everything, which, made me laugh. A lot. And whenever I would laugh her heartbeat would go up. And I would feel her kick or move and it was fun to look and see how much work the movements took her by watching how high her heartbeat would go up.
So, she is not being affected by how berzerk my body is going. She is in her own protective bubble. That was one of my biggest worries (the other being how long she get's to stay in and cook). But me, on the other hand. My blood pressure is higher and my symptoms aren't getting any better. So, I was told to go see my doctor after the test.
I went to see him and apparently I'm still spilling a lot of protein in my urine, which is not good. I showed him my hands and they were HUGE and purple. He looked at my legs and pulled out his computer and went over all of my lab results with me. There are the normal ranges and I am on the higher end of normal, almost over. He told me they want to take me before things get worse and the sooner the better. We went over how far along I'd be next week and decided on Wednesday. I will be 37 weeks and one day.
I realized we had just said the day I was going to be put under the knife and the day I was going to not be pregnant anymore and the day of my daughters birthday for the rest of her life and the day our lives were really really going to change. I was kind of.... in shock again?
I was told how severe this whole thing is again and then was told I'm on strict bed rest, laying on my left side, can get up to pee and take a walk around my mansion every once in a while, but that's it. So, home we went and it was funny, I first went into the nursery and was talking to my sister. Then went into the bedroom and Jaren had set up my pillows so I would be laying on my left side accross the whole bed facing the TV. I laughed, wished I had taken a picture and laid down. He kept asking me how I was feeling and he would leave the room, then come back and just look at me, then leave, then come back and look and this went on and on. It was really funny.
They scared him pretty well talking about how, "if she starts to have mood swings that are not like her or if she starts to get really absentminded and spacey you need to bring her in RIGHT AWAY, because likely in just a few minutes she will seize." Or if I start to feel really sick, I guess. I had no idea preeclampsia was this serious.
So, I am listening to my body and laying down a whole lot and doing nothing and being VERY bored already. I have my sister here to help and per Jaren's orders to watch my every move. He really doesn't want to leave me alone, but he is helping another farmer down the road dig their spuds before the weather get's too bad to the point they can't dig anymore.
I took unisom last night and still couldn't sleep. I can't stop thinking about EVERYTHING. It's all so crazy. I think, "Oh no, less than a week - that's too soon!" But then I try to move and am in pain or am horribly indigested or can't be comfortable and I think, "Yeah... it's a good thing I'm having her next week." With the increase in blood pressure my swelling is getting worse and with that all of my joints ache. It's my wrists and knee's now. It's something new every day.
I'm trying to focus on the happyness of this all. I know it's exciting. I'm very excited to see her and hold her and have her. But I'm so nervous and scared about the sergery that that is what is clouding my mind. Everyone I tell squeals happily about it and I can't help but think, "Yeah... but I have to get cut open...." I know tons of people go through this and it's quick and everything will be fine. My doctor has done it tons of times. But I've never had anything more than my wisdom teeth pulled - and that was a HORRIBLE experience and I was even put under. It's scary. I'm scared. I'm trying to calm myself and think about other things. But it's kind of hard when you can't distract yourself with much more than the TV and internet for small amounts of time (because I have to lie down).
Another thing - I've been banned from salt. Which wouldn't be a problem because I've been on this cereal, bread kick for a while. But just in the last 5 days or so I've been wanting breakfast. Eggs and ham in all different combinations. And I can't have it! I bought groceries the other day and got 2 pounds of ham! So, I'm making Lindsey and Jaren eat it all because it breaks my heart to see it go to waste. And soup, soup has not been good my whole pregnancy - until now! Can't have that either. And I've been eating Lean Cuisines because they are taste and had low caleries and I was watching all of that with the Gestational Diabetes thing. But, those with their processededness (I make up my own words) and sauces are full of salt. So, I'm all grains, dairy and fruits and vegetables. All of which I really don't care for. So I'm forcing everything down. BUT, I decided if I have to give up salt (which I LOVE) I'm taking back the sugar. hehe. So I'm eating a little bit of carmel with my apple and I don't care. I only have 5 days left. The hard thing is just getting myself to eat something because all of it sounds gross. But if I don't eat, my stomach cramps all over. It's painful and annoying. Again, all of this makes me grateful I'm having her next week.
After this whole last trimester I definitly don't feel like I'm being cheated anything by "getting out" of the last 3 weeks of pregnancy. Amazingly, I'm still happy :) Yesterday I was oddly euphoric. Today I'm a little frustrated with how my stomach is feeling. But I think a nap will cure that! Don't naps cure everything? They usually do for me.
So, in the next few days i'll be getting the emails entered for the private blog because it looks like I'll be using it sooner than I thought.
Her birthday will be October 14th. For the rest of her life. :)
