37 Weeks: The End

Actually, I will only make it one day into my 37th week since tomorrow is her birth day.

But, just like the others, this re-caps the week before.  And what a week that was.  Since I kept separate posts for all of the crazy developments I'll sum everything up in bullets.  We like bullets.

• went into my 36 week appointment excited to see an ultrasound and find out if I was progressing at all and hopefully get a date to do a version.
• walked out of my 36 week appointment in shock finding out I had preeclampsia, we can't do a version, it's a for sure c-section and she will be coming sooner than later. 
• filled up one 24 hour urine jug and had to get another - so proud.
• spent the next 2 days wondering and driving myself nuts - "how bad is the preeclampsia?"  "when exactly will she come?"  "is she okay?"  "will I make it to full term?"
  
• Thursday we had our first Non Stress Test (NST) and the nurse was great and the entire time baby girl was performing wonderfully.  Very active and had everything we wanted to see.  I left there in a bit of a high with knowing she really was protected in her little bubble.  
• went to the doctor right after to be told that I'm getting worse, I'm on strict bed rest, no salt and Wednesday is the day.  
• we were also told that if I have any crazy mood swings - get really mean all the sudden or loopy and spacey and not at all myself - "get her in here! she is going to seize!"  So, of course, Jaren was afraid to leave me alone for a second - would just stare at me trying to determine if I was not myself.  My sister basically moved back in.
• Saturday we had another NST and had a super boring nurse.  She didn't put the monitor on correctly and her heartbeat was basically flatlining (which is BAD) and it (the monitor - not her heart) kept stopping and starting.  We grabbed someone else and she came in - exhuberant as ever and fixed the monitor, gave me apple juice and within 45 seconds of taking a sip the baby was all. over. the. place.  
• the nurse said, "She likes juice, give her juice because in a few days all she will have is milk."  Jaren had Lindsey buy me orange juice and has been forcing down two huge glasses a day. :)  All because his little girl likes juice.  It was too cute to be annoying.
• Another NST Monday (yesterday) and she performed a bit better, but was still not as active as she normally is.  I just think it's because it's morning time.  I felt horrible.
• went to the doctor, they took my urine and blood and gave me a flu shot (never had one in my life).  We were given the time for Wednesday and are still waiting on a call from the Hospital for details.  If they don't call in the next 2 hours (by noon) I am calling them.
• Lost 2 pounds in the last week - it's water weight since I've been sweating an ocean each night.  It's GROSS.  
• TONS of acid reflux and indigestion.  It's miserable. 
  

How have I been feeling?
It was so weird to me finding out a week ago that I wasn't okay because I felt okay - or I thought I felt okay.  A lot of the symptoms I attributed to just being pregnant.  I didn't know what was normal or not.  The seeing spots?  Been happening all the time, I figured it was because of swelling or blood pressure - which is true, but it has to do with a bit more than that.  The head aches?  Figured it was because I was at the end of my pregnancy.  Right rib pain?  Well, her head is under my ribs and it's constantly hurting - I couldn't tell the difference between that ache and liver pain.  When I thought about everything, I realized that all of these symptoms had come in the previous 2 weeks and had progressively gotten worse.

I felt okay Thursday when I was put on bed rest, but each day I started to feel more lethargic and my head ache got a bit worse.  Yesterday was no fun.  I feel so tired today.  My joints ache worse each day.  When I think of how I'm getting out of the last 3 weeks of pregnancy I think, "am I missing out?"  "is it like I'm cheating?"  Then I think of how horrible the last 2 1/2 months have been and I don't feel bad.  Not at all. Not one bit.  I'm ready to be done being pregnant and have this little girl I've been wanting and waiting for for much longer than I've been pregnant.

My emotions have been all over the place.  From shock, to fear, to confusion, to joy, to sadness, to worry, to absolute exuberance.  Right now I'm feeling excited and tired.  So excited to finally have her and so so so excited to get my body back... evenutally (just have to wait for the healing to pass).  I'm tired because my body is exhausted.  I'm also a little worried things wont get done.  I have a list of things that need to be done today.  I want to be able to leave with my mind only on what is to come and not what my house will look like when we get back.  Jaren is getting his hair cut right this second and then he is coming home to be my slave for the rest of the day.  It's mostly just picking things up and laundry that needs to be done.  And "the bag" needs to be packed.

Today is going to fly.  I'm so excited about tomorrow and so nervous about tomorrow.  The surgery scares me.  I don't know how it could not since it's something I've never had to do before.  Jaren has not completely dismissed the idea of standing up and watching her be pulled out.  He said it's going to be a spurt of the moment decision.  I kind of want to see that part, but I'm too afraid of what I'll see.  I don't think I'll be able to detatch myself from my body - all I will see is MY stomach wide open and that can't be good for the mind.  It's all going to go by so fast and I don't worry too much about the recovery.  I've been informed I'll be given LOTS of really good pain meds and that I just need to get myself up and moving - but to be careful.  I'm feeling good about it all.

Jaren talkes about how excited he is.  He talks about getting to hold his little girl and we are excited to finally have our family started.  We both go into the nursery and stare and talk about it all.  We can't wait to see who's of who's she has.  He has very long fingers and toes and skinny legs and arms.  I have short fingers and toes and a bit more shapely arms and legs :)  His nose is bigger and he has brown/hazel eyes and mine are green/blue.  He has a dimple and I have two things that could almost pass for dimples but they are kind of close to my mouth.  I was one freckled girl.  I was a tow head and he was born with blonde/light brown hair that turned dark later.  So she could come out with light hair.  My hair didn't turn dark till end of high school/college.  Will she have hair?  All of these things will be answered tomorrow!!!

I will be twittering throughout the time in the hospital.  You can see those and get to any pictures I post through that on my side bar.  I'm not sure if I'll have the computer or access to the internet while I'm there.  So, possibly there wont be any word until this weekend.  We will either be home Friday or Saturday.

The end has come not quite how I expected, but I'm so so so grateful to be full term.  I'm so grateful that she is fine and so grateful for my doctor who has been keeping such a great eye on me.  He genuinely cares and is concerned and it makes me feel like not just some pregnant girl.  Because of the college here there are lots and lots of preggies and they come, have one baby and leave.  But I'm coming and having all my babies here and so I needed someone who I could build a relationship with and who knew me and my circumstances.  He told me I have him all day since it's his day off tomorrow.  I'm glad he wont be rushing and he has set aside the time specifically for me.

I'm going to try to finish a post to have posted tomorrow, but we will see.  Right now I'm going to lie down again as I'm feeling sick and light headed.  (so happy to return to "normal" tomorrow)

One more story.  I think it's funny.  Yesterday after I woke up from my nap (I nap for 2-3 hours because what else am I going to do to pass the time?!!) I ate and then sat down on the couch.  After about 20 minutes my chest started to hurt.  VERY badly.  It felt like someone was on top of my chest and all of my intercostal muscles (the muscles inbetween your ribs) were contracting.  I couldn't get to them to rub it since I have sore milk makers in the way.  I didn't know WHAT was going on.  Jaren came home and wanted me to call the doctor.  They were closed (I really didn't want to call).  I stood up and walked around and went into the nursery with Jaren while he hung the valance.  The whole while in the nursery I was...  how do I put this daintily?  breaking wind?  Yes.  Breaking lots of wind.  I felt better after about 30 minutes of walking around and sitting very upright.  I was still confused about what was going on, but it had passed so I was okay.  Later around 10 it came back.  Even worse and I started to cry.  This time it was all around my rib cage and was a bit lower.  Jaren got out the computer and started to look stuff up.  One of the diagnoses was indigestion and gas.  I'm laughing because, gas???  in my ribs?!  Yes, I burp.  A lot.  But, that much?  And then I thought about how high up all of my intestines are and thought... huh.....    Naahhhh.  Then, the wind started again and gradually I felt better.  It was funny.  The fact that my ribs hurt and all I needed to do was break some wind and I felt better was such an odd idea to me.  But, it was true.  It went away!  But that experience is just one more thing that makes me so SO glad it's all ending tomorrow.  I hope I don't have it again today.  As funny as it is, it is very painful.

The beauties of pregnancy!!!!  Glamorous, huh? :)


37 Weeks:

Hah, kidding.  This is what I plan on looking like at my would-be 38 weeks!  Kidding again....  This is me at 7 weeks - 30 weeks ago.  But really, I miss those jeans and hope to get back into them.  I'm taking my 37 week picture tomorrow morning so I don't have it now.  I'll post it when I'm back from the Hospital!

Don't forget to guess on the post below!